"If Jason only picks at his food and all that, we can consider an antidepressant for a while."
That's what the vet Dr. Linda Colburn told me at VCA Animal Hospital, East Haven, Connecticut when we decided to release 16-year-old Havana Brown feline Carlotta from her pain. Jason, coal black and 16, and Carlotta had been soulmates since I had adopted them years ago. They groomed each other and shared body heat on the couch, bed, and even desk in my home office.
Yes, Jason is grieving. As Dr. Colburn anticipated, he's only picking at his Fancy Feast seafood mix. Usually the king of the house, he's reserved. And he searches around for any sign that his companion might still be on the premises. Just like us, animals harbor magical thinking when confronted with loss.
Time will tell if Jason - and I - can get on the other side of this. If we do, I wonder who we will be. Loss changes us. In her book recounting the death of her daughter "Blue Nights," Joan Didion shows us just how much the ending of the life of a loved one can reconfigure us.
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