"I have made so many mistakes."
That seems to be the meme of Baby Boomers who find they have no choice but to start their own business. They need the money. Although they have played their best cards to land a full-time job that didn't happen.
Indeed, by time we are in our late 50s and throughout our 60s, we probably have made many mistakes. So has every generation before us and so will every generation after us.
Those mistakes might be that we sought too much security and didn't take risks. Therefore, we didn't gain the broad experience and network of contacts of a job-hopper.
Or we might have hopped around way too much. There is no pension or pensions from former employers.
Have we learned from those mistakes? Hopefully. Even if we haven't, there is nothing to gain and plenty to lose in drive and confidence by staying in the spot of self-blame. All that is over. Opportunity happens in the now.
How can we come to forgive ourselves? The most efficient way is to simply accept our humanness. When we were being shaped by our homeroom teacher in high school and the guidance counselors we were steered away from our humanity. Instead we got the message that we must be above mere humanness. Instead we had to get superior grades, earn a varsity letter, be social, have at least one leadership postion and always manage emotions. That was reinforced in college. No wonder so many of us cracked up post-graduation. There were whoppers of nervous breakdowns.
My mantra? "I was a jerk. I probably am still a jerk. Likely I will always be a jerk. So?" I can still make a good buck running my communications boutique.