Over-50

Hazel Sanchez - Started Teaching Career At Age 80, Still Working At Age 102

CBS is featuring Hazel Sanchez.

Since she's still working at age 102, she's atypical enough to be a news item. But, within a few years, her kind of approach to aging could become more standard. There is growing pushback on society's expectation that reaching a certain age requires ceasing to be in the marketplace hustling for opportunity.

Most of Sanchez' life had been spent as a traditional stay-at-home mom. Then at 80, reports CBS, she started her career at Sundance School in North Plainfield, New Jersey. Looks like she was a Late Bloomer. She's still there teaching.

This will become more common as the aging split into two cultures. There will be those of us who refuse to stop working. Then there will be those who decide to retire or are forced into a non-work lifestyle.

As I hammer in this article in Medium, there is growing tension between the two cultures. Those nestled in retirement communities such as Saddlebrook, Oro Valley, Arizona, often question why we are out there trying to earn a buck. Perhaps they miss having us available to come out to play with them.

When a resident, Kathleen Huebner, invited to Saddlebrooke to have a holiday dinner in one of its dining rooms, I felt like I didn't belong. The ethos was families enjoying the multi-generational pull force of grandchildren. And there I was, in my late 60s, a career gal. I wanted to talk business, just as I had when I was excited to finally land my first full-time job in Corporate America. Currently, I am just as excited to land plum writing assignments in high-traffic digital publications.

The Debt Game Our Mothers Never Taught Us

From the get-go, our mothers warned us Baby Boomers against debt. That's the financial wisdom they assumed would give us the edge.

After all, our mothers went from the fun of the Gilded Age to the drudgery of The Great Depression. It wasn't until I was a ghostwriter/speechwriter at Chrysler that I learned that borrowing big money was how the big boys did it. Lee Iacocca saved the auto company by talking the U.S. government into providing loan guarantees. Because that worked, we all made a bundle.

Before that, I would only borrow small amounts. When I was 11, I talked my uncle into lending me what it took for me to buy into a franchise. I knew enough not to approach Mom. My little enterprise did well.

However, had I been socialized to think big when it came to borrowing I would have not worked every summer to put myself through college and not take loans. I would have taken advantage of low-cost loans to study abroad. That would have enhanced my resume, network, and confidence. Likely I could have landed a job in Europe. Instead I took the road more traveled and went to graduate school for a degree which turned out to be unmarketable. Duh.

Since Chrysler, I play the debt game regularly. That's exactly how I rebranded my own business into a service that's been in demand. And, that's why I published an article in MyBankTracker on why debt is good. Here you can read it. Pass copies on to other Baby Boomers whose mothers hammered the supposed perils of debt.

 

Survival! - If Baby Boomers Make It to Christmas 2015, That's Universe's Gift To Us

Maybe the game, at least in these dangerous times, is simply about staying alive. Forget anything but survival. And let's be grateful, if we make it until Christmas 2015, that the universe has given us the gift of staying power.

Last night I attended a meeting at a spiritual fellowship. Some members were kvetching about not being happy. Being in debt. Not achieving as much professionally as they might have had they not done this or had done that.

I smirked. It seemed so 20th-century to be consumed with grandiose expectations. Especially for the Baby Boomers at that spiritual center.

For example, we survived ourselves. We were the first generation to embrace sex, drugs and rock and roll. Because of growing affluence we took huge risks with how we made a living. We felt smug about our nest eggs but hadn't planned right. All or much of that vaporized in the two financial crashes of the 21st century. And, the Coca-Puffs kids, we ate much too much sugar.

Yet, here we are. I made it out of the too-expensive New York Metro area to the much more affordable Southwest. I managed to grow out of being the Coca-Puff kid. My communications boutique is thriving. My aggressive rescue dog has mellowed into a lap-curler. In addition, I am among those who didn't off themselves because of severe clinical depression.

In short, the universe has been generous to me. I know it. I choose to be glad, not sad, this Christmas.

Donald Trump Taught So Many Of Us Power Of Fearlessness

Donald Trump's political future is irrelevant to so many of us Baby Boomers who have already learned so much from his campaign. That's been a game-changer for us. And that's all that matters.

Trump's signature trait has been fearlessness. The media, including Fox head Roger Ailes, could huff and puff. But they couldn't blow his bravado down.

In the debates, in framing issues, and in speeches, he didn't take crap. He might have been right. He might have been wrong. But he didn't default over and over again into apology. Maybe his whole rhetorical style has killed off the "I'm sorry." And this is a guy who had his brush with financial disaster more than once.

That is the antithesis of what we Baby Boomers had been socialized to be. We were the generation who labored in Corporate America. There the persona was conformity and compliance.

Before that, the high school guidance whatever told us that we would never get into college if we didn't "have a good record."

A recession or two without work drained any piss and vinegar we had left over from our counterculture days.

So, there we Baby Boomers were: conditioned to be afraid. Then Trump shows us that's all wrong.

I agreed with him.

I stopped being scared in my business dealings. More came in. They all put down the deposit I requested. They treated me well during the assignment.

I stopped being scared in my personal dealings. Like a Millennial I blocked calls from those I no longer wanted in my life. My body language is no longer tentative. I walk into a room like I own it.

I stopped being scared about money. If Trump can ride out whatever, so can I.

I now wonder how different our careers and lives might have been had we been socialized to not take crap. Ever.

 

Late Bloomers - Not Just Professionally

 In his book "Old Masters and Young Geniuses," art researcher, David W. Galeson, documented the phenomenon of the late bloomer. It took those late starters a while to create their unique vision in the arts. Until then they were in an experimenting mode. Suddenly, it happened: They got it just right. Those include Alfred Hitchock and Frank Lloyd Wright.

Well, that's the professional side of late blooming.

There is also an emotional side. The first time I ran across it was in the book by Philip Roth "The Human Stain," which was made into a film. The narrator, a writer, wakes up one day in middle age and discovers he has been living his life all wrong. So, he chucks the path he has taken and moves into a run-down cabin in the woods. There he struggles to figure himself out.

Now, I am encountering that epiphany about our lives among those of us over-65. Last night in a support group I attend, a woman, about to celebrate her 70th birthday, said that she is just recognizing all the mistakes she has made. Like the rest of us, she was wondering why she couldn't take stock of her life before her seventh decade.

My hunch is that until we get to the point at which we really have nothing to lose we simply hold on too tight. We are a closed system. Then, we let go.

It took about 11 months after I relocated to the Southwest from the East Coast rat race before I could relax. Then it dawned on me that what I had been chasing since high school - conventional success - had always been a lousy fit for me. Instead, I had to create a more holistic life, and this time, on my own terms. I couldn't cut and paste from other models.

How's that coming? I feel the way I did before the pressure of high school. As a very young girl, I was determined to become a writer. At age 11, I swung by the local printer and asked how they would be able to publish my book. After I wrote it, that is. I believed in myself. It was irrelevant that the family harped on me for being socially awkward, chubby, and lost in my own world.

I am looking forward to reclaiming those old parts of myself. Where will this lead? It doesn't matter. I am figuring out me.

Baby Boomers - Professional Start-Overs Are Possible

Millennials do their start-ups. We Baby Boomers are doing start-overs. Actually, with so much disruptions in our industries, either we keep rebranding or we are no longer marketable.

One tool for making a start-over easier is a geographic move. We lift ourselves out of the sand box of the past.

In that box are playing the colleagues, neighbors, family, and friends who pigeon-holed us as being one type of professional. No one is that emotionally strong to buck all that.

In a fresh setting - for me it was the Southwest - I could try out whatever I wanted to. That ranged from a more relaxed persona to a more conversational style of writing.

In addition, I let myself be open to being re-shaped by the environment. No one talks about success here. So, I stopped that. As a result, I could just focus on doing the assignments versus how they might up my chances of making it big. Big isn't big here.

Could I have rebranded in-place in the New York Metro area? Not with the high cost of living. The wolf was always scratching at the door. It seems all professionals, no matter how well they are doing when in proximity to Manhattan, are still a few bucks short. So, we try too hard. Trying too hard prevents the kind of risk-taking necessary for start-overs.

When I lose a night sleep here it isn't because of that scratching sound.  It's the rapid flow of ideas about how to get more business and then do those assignments in an amazing way.

Anne Murga-Ring - Happy Birthday, September 21, 2015

Broken relationships have their own unique voodoo. They cast spells we can't seem to exorcise.

My much younger sister, Anne Murga-Ring, and I haven't talked since mid-November 2003. On Monday, she will have yet another birthday. Last year I did send a birthday card. No response. So this year my executive coach and I worked it out to give up trying to glue together the fractures in the relationship.

The fractures are what keep us stuck in the force field. Negative bonds put much more a hold on us than positive ones. The film keeps stopping at the parts of our lives filled with the most dysfunctional relationships. We stare.

Maybe we are trying to figure out the dynamics. More likely horrors fascinate. I can't help wondering if some of those people who are in that film noticed the latest blossoms in my late-blooming?

My three blogs are getting record traffic with links from brandname media like Bloomberg. I'm turning away more business for my communications boutique than  I accept. Most days are filled with inner peace. I'm no longer out there a rescuer. In fact, I only am the pet parent to one four-legger and no longer people-please. And, my dress size is too little to get a part-time sales job at Lane Bryant plus-size retail.

Next year there will be the same field force on September 21. I can only hope the intensity will lessen. It's her birthday that triggers the voodoo. Not Christmas. That's the holiday I spend by an ocean, some large body of water around the world. The waves coming in and going back out distract me from the film.

Baby Boomer Widows, Single Women - Saga Of Dr. Kathleen Huebner, Myself

Two heads can be better than one.

That's especially the situation if both are emotionally focused on each other's well-being. And that can be why Baby Boomer widows and single women, who lack that other, are vulnerable to mistakes in judgment.

The New York Times focuses on the financial plight of widows. Their finances decline about 37 percent after the death of a spouse, versus 22 percent for males whose wives die.  The result can be chronic insecurity about funds. That coverage by the NYT should have included single women, that is, those of us who chose not to marry.

During the past 17 months, since I relocated my communications boutique, myself, and rescue dog Lily of the Valley, from the New York Metro Area to Tucson, Arizona, I have recognized how useful a man's thinking would have been. At least if he had been emotionally invested in me.

Had there been that presence in my life, I probably would have opted for Florida. That state provides more business opportunities than does AZ. Also, I wouldn't have had to sacrifice my life-long love of the ocean. The cost of living in much of FL is not higher than what it is here in the Southwest.

I can only speak for myself. However, I have observed the play-out of the choices of another woman who never married. She is my former classmate at Seton Hill University, Greensburg, Pennsylvania, Dr. Kathleen Huebner.

When contemplating retirement, she did the right thing. She told me that she had visited different parts of the U.S. and different kinds of housing concepts. Why she choose the retirement community Saddlebrooke, based in Oro Valley, AZ, puzzles me.

The documentary "King's Point" highlights the disappointment of many of those opting for the then-trendy concept of housing restricted to those over-55. The aura created of The Happy Valley For Seniors has generated over-building. As a result, documents The Wall Street Journal, there is a coming supply glut. Those in senior housing who want out might find it difficult to sell. In addition, the market value of their property may plummet. The playing field in real estate is tilted toward new construction.

When I first came to AZ, Huebner invited me to have Easter lunch at one of Saddlebrooke's dining rooms. Since she was showing me the ropes, I treated her. The cuisine was mediocre and no bargain. With the tip I popped for $70.00. The ambiance - old ladies gushing about food - was scary.

I had bunked in senior housing in New Haven, Connecticut before opting for my new life in AZ. However, I was still taken aback by Saddlebrooke World. Given the cost to buy-in, I had assumed the lifestyle would have been nirvana, compared to my leased 750-square-feet in the asphalt jungle. Wrong.

Unlike senior housing at Bella Vista, in CT, that in Saddlebrooke had no public transportation. Just about every bus in central CT stopped in front of my Bella Vista Building B. That means that when residents such as Huebner can no longer drive, they are stranded.

Also, there are no convenience stores, in fact, no stores at all in Saddlebrooke. At least not the last time I had the misfortune to be there. That lack of a general store can be isolating. In the Bella Vista complex there were a deli and pharmacy.  Buses, public and private, transported us to nearby Walmart and Aldi. A hospital was nearby. Residents of Saddlebrooke have to be hauled into Tucson for medical emergencies.

In addition, the layout of Saddlebrooke is cookie-cutter. All the purchased residences are Southwest beige and the same basic structure. The first time there I got so lost a kindly couple in a SUV had to escort me back to civilization, that is, Oracle Road.

To back up, had I a male presence in my life, I wouldn't have chosen the segregated "over-55" concept of Bella Vista. I would have been warned that I needed more diversity among neighbors. Also, a male probably would have done the math for me. The supposed subsidized housing was no bargain for me since, given that I was still working, I paid "market rate."

When I searched for housing in AZ, it was only in multi-generational developments like Sierra Montana. I love watching the children in the courtyard have earnest conversations with their dolls and be engrossed with cartoons on their tablets. For the latter, they tap into the free WiFi from the property manager's office.

The good news is that there are services emerging, like the Women's Institute for  Secure Retirement, which can reduce the vulnerability of widows and single women. But, from brutal experience, I have decided to bring more males into my business decisions.

For example, the man next store, also a Baby Boomer, has been explaining why I should shift out of my mutual fund. I'm listening - something I wouldn't have done before the mistake of bypassing FL as the platform for my new life.

Baby Boomers - Almost Famous (4 tips)

The game is not over. 

Too many Baby Boomers might feel that way, even though they still are working full-time at "important" jobs or operating a growing business. That sense of a fading professional presence usually comes from some signals from diverse constituencies that we are becoming "invisible." That is a brutal come-down from seeing ourselves as "almost famous" in our niches.

The good news is that there are simple tactics to rebrand ourselves as players. Actually, among us are Late Bloomers who can finally achieve fame.

When I was 59 years old, I became an early adopter in blogging. Among the high-profile opportunities coming my way was blogging the four-month Rhode Island lead paint public nuisance class action trial. The New York Times, Crain's, and the Plain Dealer interviewed me. Security analysts called for my take if they should short the stock of the defendants such as Sherwin-Williams.

So, how do we get back our mojo when it's, well, obvious, our branding is getting tired? Here 4 are tips:

Frame the negative as a wonderful gift. If we didn't pick up that something was wrong, there would be no impetus to change. That Millennial who avoided eye contact at a staff meeting is exactly the person we needed to deliver a wake-up call. It was time we got it that the world had changed and we better change with it. Both macro moves like learning a new field and micro moves like re-styling our hair and finding the right coloring to cover or blend in with the gray.

Ask for input. When threatened, we usually choke. It's the pressure. That's the time to reach out to the experts or a few trusted colleagues. I found I had to hire an executive coach for several months to help me add marketing communications to the menu of services I offered. No, I couldn't have found that new pathway on my own. All my systems were on shut-down. Pressure does that.

Experiment. There's that old adage: We plan, the gods laugh. Sure, we can map out a course of action. But we shouldn't take it too seriously. Opportunity could be knocking on the door and we ignore that because are totally focused on The Plan.

Experts observe that MySpace failed while Facebook succeeded because the leadership at Facebook kept veering from the original strategy as the marketplace, technology, and the ad world kept changing. Myspace remained married to The Plan.

Write off sunk costs. To move forward we have to stop looking backward. A great guide for breaking free is Henry Cloud's "Necessary Endings." Why we cling to the past is usually because of what we have invested in it - that is, sunk costs. There are all the relationships we had nurtured. There are the expensive degrees and courses we had taken. There are the trade associations in which we held leadership positions.

We have to write those off, just as Microsoft wrote off its billions in Nokia. That didn't work out. What no longer works out for us has to go.

Once she rebranded as a role model for successful aging, Betty White truly achieved amazing professional fame. That was a gamble. Most of us hesitate from considering a negative as a platform for a new career. Yet, that could finally help us achieve what we had been searching for during our early and middle work years: a powerful brandname. That's still attainable.

 

Baby Boomers - So, Whose Life Went As Planned (LOL)

Last night at a Buddhist temple, several of us Baby Boomers struggled with the shock and disappointment that our little lives didn't go as planned. The format was a discussion about letting go. It followed a 20-minute meditation session.

Sure, we had heard over and over again the adage: Mankind plans, the gods laugh. But when it came to ourselves, we weren't amused.

The central problem was that from the get-go, we had been told that if we planned carefully, followed that plan no matter what, we would be spared the miseries most people had to endure.

For me, that applied until I went to graduate school. That highly escalated competition, aloofness of the faculty and so few jobs available after all that not only wasn't part of the plan. I wasn't up to handling it. At age 25, I had a breakdown.

Others shared when the plan blew up. And there we were in a Buddhist temple seeking inner peace mostly because our lives still weren't obeying any plan. At the very least, we were still on planet earth. From a family with a suicide gene, I hadn't expected that. At the worst, one woman from Manhattan never imaged she would have given up a good job to come to the Southwest and be a caretaker for her parents.

The solution? A meditation leader observed that so much of our clinging to The Plan and expectations that it will play out was the result of plain-vanilla habit. Another reflection was that planning cuts off openness. When we're open we can spot opportunity. That's how I landed 2 new clients recently. I looked up from the plan long enough to identify what two organizations really needed, developed a fresh sales pitch, and that was that.

What can deter planning is the zen mantra: "Clear Thinking, Don't Know."