Over-50

Boomers v Gen Y: We're winning

The tension between generations is palpable.  When I walk into an interview or talk on the phone regarding a possible work assignment and the person with the power is a member of Generation Y, I stiffen.  The odds are that we will be on different wavelengths and I will not get the assignment.

But, overall, reports Bloomberg, it's a different story.  We Boomers are doing better than Generation Y when it comes to being able to make a living and building wealth.   Not that it's easy. 

But we have the edge of understanding the game of getting work, keeping work, and getting more of that work.  That's a learned body of knowledge.  No one is born knowing how to go to work.  That comes with having a variety of work experiences ranging from our part time jobs in high school to the wonderful corporate job we lost in a downsizing. 

In coaching, I have never had a member of Generation Y contact me for a complimentary interview.  Several members of Generation X have done that and many from my own Baby Boomer generation.

Mary and Robert Kennedy: Scenes from a marriage

At Mary Kennedy's funeral her estranged husband Robert explicitly said that someone told him not to blame himself for her suicide, reports THE NEW YORK POST.  That means that, of course, some do blame him.  Maybe he blames himself.  Yesterday in the beauty salon, where a master stylist gave me a youngish bob, there was mixed opinion on the marriage.

The reality is, we know from our own intimate relationships, that no one knows, including maybe even the parties in it, what takes place in a marriage.  The give and take of intimacy is too complex and changing for assessment. Some marriages last.  Some don't.  All go through ups and downs.   

Given all the scenes from a marriage, public and private, none of us should have the arrogance to assume we know all the lines in the script.

Aging: Yes, a variable but not necessarily the significant one

"In her 60s, my mother got her Master's degree and then a job paying $75,000."

That's what an acquaintance told me last night when I finally recognized that age is, yes, a variable in a job search but not necessarily a significant one.  For example, now that I have repositioned myself to sell a set of specialized skills I am in more demand. On interviews it's obvious that what I can offer overrides any of their concerns about my age.

The game seems to be about approaching our credentials in a way that's directly aligned with demand in the marketplace.  That could mean letting go of tasks we like to do but there is little market for.  We simply leave that out of resumes, cover letters, samples, and interviews.  

What I have ditched is my experience in being highly critical of whatever.  Several years ago when blogging was new, yes, there was a market for that.  Not now.  End of that story.

Mary Kennedy: Was she all of us who had lost our sense of self?

Mary Kennedy's suicide by hanging has touched a nerve, especially among us who are over 50.  One reason why is that, as some commenting on this death point out, she seems to have lost her sense of self.  There are ups and down in life.  Those downs can be harder to absorb and bounce back from as we age.  The lesson here might be to preserve our core identity no matter what blows comes our way from the outside.

At one time, Kennedy was an architectural designer working in Manhattan.  Then in 2010 we read that her husband Robert is filing for a divorce.  Not long after that we read that she is arrested for a DUI. Then we read that she could have been arrested for driving under the influence of a prescription drug but her lawyer got her off.  She did not have custody of her four children.

The reality is that anyone of any age can come back from whatever.  In his mid 60s, T. Boone Pickens lost most of his money and his marriage.  He's back, of course.  Clint Eastwood came back from simply making films which made money to serious work.  His "Million Dollar Baby" is a classic in the art of film.  Hillary Clinton got on the other side of her high profile loss in her campaign for the White House.   I came back in 2003 (Download Geezerguts).  Since I intend to keep in the workforce for another 20 years I anticipate several more comebacks.

Mary Kennedy Was One of Us

Is hope harder to grab onto and hold when we pass 50 years of age?  Maybe.  Mary Kennedy, ex-wife of Robert F. Kennedy Jr., was over 50, divorced a few years ago, and had been arrested for drunk driving. 

Today we find out that she is dead, an apparent suicide.  She leaves four children.  This digital community remembers her and her family in our prayers.

DIY: Over-50 & you are your own executive coach

In the spirit of DYI, more of the over-50 are taking on the role of being their own executive coach.  They save thousands of dollars and derive the unique satisfaction of knowing they have the insight, courage, and capacity for change to reset themselves for a marketplace which is continually changing.

Here are the five steps they usually take.

One, they accept themselves as they are and where they are.  That's exactly where they can then make modifications, with gentleness and self-love.  A useful book on that is "Radical Acceptance."

Two, they analyse the winners in a range of fields and make a list of the traits they all seem to have in common.  Then they decide which of those traits they can add to or increase in their own way of presenting themselves to the world - and to themselves.

Three, they research the marketplace.  Once they identify growth areas they do an inventory of what skills and experience they can leverage to fit that.  They continue to do that.  No career path is ever done. 

Four, they reach out and help others reset themselves, pro bono.  We learn the most when we teach it. 

Five, they read or view inspirational material.  That provides the platform on reframing thought patterns.  We are what we think.

John Edwards: Suppose he had just spent too much on a sporty car

John  Edwards is on trial for allegedly playing around with $925 million in campaign funds.  Some see his troubles as rooted in the classic male midlife crisis. Had Edwards been less wealthy and not had the heady experience of being a senator and presidential candidate he might have just bought a sporty car he really couldn't afford.   After that he would have just gone on with the developmental task of embracing aging.

If Edwards goes to prison, and it will be for a long time, more of us will be more careful about the choices we make in response to the shock that we are getting older.  If he gets off the hook more of us will likely do a lot more than shop for a car when we get it that the years ahead are much fewer than the years behind.

As Betty White says, aging isn't for sissies.

Those "If Onlys" - Even healthcare workers get the boot

If only I had gone into healthcare.

How many times I had heard that from unemployed lawyers, journalists, and secretaries during the worst of the downturn.  Well, amidst signs of a recovery, some of those who were assumed to be sitting in the professional catbird seat are getting the boot.

At my 12-step meeting tonight I was shocked to hear a nurse share her pain that her boss and a number of others in a healthcare facility are being laid off.  Because she does direct service and isn't an administrator she's safe - for now.  Among those getting the ax are middle managers whose children are entering college.

No, there is no safe harbour. It's a illusion to assume that anyone is in any kind of catbird seat.  It's also an illusion to decide to declare any line of work dead.  I was beginning to think that writers aka content providers were finished.  Well, I am finding out we are only finished if we try to earn a living telecommuting.  The well paying work is onsite, usually on a contract basis.  Yes, bring along your own benefits.  Ever since I decided to go for assignments and jobs that were onsite I have been receiving lots of interviews. 

Lesson: Assume nothing.  Everything changes.

Baby Boomers: Imagine that you are the corner drugstore

Teach a man to fish and he eats forever.

Today for us Baby Boomers what we need to learn to keep eating is how to keep rebranding ourselves and reframing our professional identity.  That's how we differentiate ourselves from all the competition out there.

Yet, with the rules of business in flux, the only way we are going to do that is by experimenting.  Trial and error, with the underlay of uncertainty, can be brutal.  That's why we want to learn from the other guy's successes and failures.

For the financial information company Motley Fool I analyze the branding upheaval going on at Walgreen.  Once our trusty corner drugstore, it's now expanded into healthcare and being a leader in the convenience store industry.  Here you can read my deconstruction and pick and choose lessons for your own transformation.

 

"The Man Who Quit Money" - Could we pull that off, we Baby Boomers again wonder

Back in our counterculture days some of us Baby Boomers actually did simplify our lives to the point that very little money was required.  Today, as we got used to getting by with less money during the worst of the downturn, we are back to wondering if we could possibly quit the system and just live out there in nature. 

Well, Daniel Suelo tried doing that in 2000.  Right now he's 50 years old and still at it.  He's free, highly social, and healthy.  Earlier in his life he made a serious suicide attempt, along with enduring bouts of depression.

His journey from being a job-holder to making it without a dime is told by his friend Mark Sundeen in "The Man Who Quit Money."  The story is compelling in itself.  What might be most useful is that it clearly shows how much work living outside capitalism demands.  Daily Suelo has to find food, ensure he can have a roof over his head, be hyper careful about not getting sick, keep himself clean, go to the public library to use the Internet, and get where he needs to be by walking or hitching a ride. 

"The Man Who Quit Money" convinced me to continue to earn a buck.  Today I had a birthday.  I couldn't imagine having to do what Suelo does just to stay alive.  Maybe when I was a younger woman I would have considered that lifestyle an adventure.  At my age I require continuity in the availability of my creature necessities and comforts.