Over-50

The American Way - Socialization of Children of Immigrants

"Jackie Mason, When Told He Was Too Jewish, Stuck With His Shtick" - James R. Hagery, The Wall Street Journal, July 28, 2021.

Jackie Mason succeeded, despite being slapped down with the labeling of "too."

Of course, he must have struggled emotionally. But on a professional level he made it big. And, that's what matters most in America. This is America, not some country with a less careerist ethos.

And, in America, judgments are harsh. Despite whatever efforts could be made on reputation restoration for Bill Gates, he will wind up The Unforgiven. 

That goes back to the self-righteous Puritans. That value system still prevails. Just listen to the tone and language used by Morgan Stanley's Eric Grossman about law firms serving his account circling back to the office full-time. Grossman could have fit in nicely as a Puritan hellfire-and-brimstone minister. 

The majority of those who weren't a perfect fit with American social norms (as well as being from central casting in a professional persona) have suffered. I know that from doing career coaching. For men, for instance, they were "too short" for the perfect executive image in Corporate America, at least back before the era of wildly achieving oddball entrepreneurs. 

There has been and still is the "too gay." Fortunately, America has a good legal system. "Too gay" Sargeant Keith Wildhaber won $2.8 million in damages and $17 million in punitive damages. The jury agreed that the St. Louis police department blocked his promotion because he didn't fit how those in law enforcement should look, talk, walk and more. 

Women, especially those who are lawyers and mothers, are being hammered (despite third-wave feminism) about just about everything. One recent dustup had been in the American Bar Journal about what a lawyer-mother should say or not say about career obstacles. 

As is obvious, the negative assessment of being "too Jewish" or Jewish at all still dominates. Actually, it is escalating.

Again, I know.

Although I am not Jewish, I have been harassed in the midwest and even in looser Arizona because it was and is assumed I am a "New York Jew." Call that "antisemitism lite." The "evidence" used to persecute me in that way include my deep Jersey City, New Jersey accent and Eastern European facial features/body stye. (Also, since I grew up in a Jewish neighborhood I fall into Yiddish slang but I cut that out as too dangerous. I don't want my car keyed.)

Incidentally, late novelist Philip Roth focused a lot on ethnic self-hate. He might have been onto something big. That could be the missing piece in trying to figure out how Yale Law School one-time star team Jed Rubenfeld and Amy Chua (Tiger Mom) fell from grace. 

The elephant in the room on this one is this: Can this blatant kind of discrimination change?

Well, those in the front lines of diversity are trying.

Everyman and Everywoman are being encouraged by coaches, therapists, and loved ones to "be themselves." That simulates, of course, the Dove meme that everyone is beautiful.

Also, powerful institutions such as the law firms in BigLaw are bringing issues such as the current antisemitism mainstream and pushing back against them.

For example, at Paul Weiss its chairperson Brad Karp organized about 50 other law firms to come out strongly against antisemitism. Paul Weiss has also been an early adopter in initiatives for nuts-and-bolts social justice. Among the accomplishments has been the COVID Resource Center. Through it, even those COVID victims living paycheck to paycheck can gain access to assistance.  

Maybe the first stop in all this, though, is to dismantle cherished American myths like the melting pot. Yeah sure.

Vividly I recall the nuns at St. Boniface Roman Catholic grade school, based in the tenement district of Jersey City, socializing us children of immigrants to The American Way. That included the all-American breakfast. No more Polish pancakes. Nonono. Guess for me that didn't take. I continue to be sized up as way "too Jewish."

Small changes can trigger big success in your career and your business communications. Also guidance for pre-retirement. Swing by for a complimentary consultation (janegenova374@gmail.com)

Law Partners and the "Hunger Games" - Yes, You Can Save Your Life

Simone Biles is the most recent high-profile athlete to be, as the AP reports, "not be in the right headspace."

Earlier Michael Phelps had disclosed that he also had drifted into that kind of dark space. He had even contemplated suicide. 

So, what could be happening is that it is from the world of sports that lawyers struggling with mental illness can find insight, genuine compassion, and the inspiration to consider the tradeoffs involved in what could constitute saving their lives.

The thinking on this one might go: If those high-paid, talented, and revered athletes struggle with psychiatric problems maybe it's okay that I do too. Also, like them, maybe I should consider restructuring my life, my work, and even my social network to accommodate my mental illness. But, first, yes, I will talk with someone about this. That first step could be a close friend or a mental-illness expert.

The American Bar Association has tried to provide support. It had, for example, partnered with Hazelden Betty Ford to research mental illness in the legal profession. 

But help from the inside might not be where it needs to come from. After all, inside is danger. Inside licenses can be lost. Inside reputations can go poof. Inside could mean being forced out of the job.

The late 42-year-old partner at Sidley Austin Gabe MacConaill assumed that was exactly how things worked inside BigLaw. In an article in Law.com, his wife Joanna Litt indicated that Gabe had been overwhelmed during both his representation of Matress Firm and his law firm committee work. He didn't dare "get help," not even going to the ER. He was certain if that got known he would be finished. Instead he committed suicide with a gun.

Maybe Biles and Phelps have given permission to the Gabes to risk all professionally - yes, currently a career is all - to save one's life. No secret: The way many forms of mental illness play out is that situation can evolve, as with Gabe, to life and death.

And, it isn't getting better in the legal profession. Prestigious law firms have been throwing money at junior lawyers. Essentially that looks like a tradeoff for them to sacrifice normal human touchpoints for the demands of serving client needs. In sports the analogy would be serving the needs of the fans. 

In general, the sports world is a lot more glam than toiling like a medieval monk amid paper documents. Stars (or many former stars) in it who step away from all that to, well, what might be saving their lives provide the role models and the nudge lawyers (and law students) could require. They can admit things may be getting pretty dark. And they can make a commitment to save their lives, no matter what that entails. In the medieval world the mindset was all about saving your soul. Now, it has come down to in so many lines of work to balance extreme success with saving your life.

The first round of COVID taught all professional to assess what matters - that is, if we were blessed with being able to continue to live.

The recent activity in the sports world presents a bigger-bang Moment of Clarity or Ah-Ha Experience. The takeaway is this: We all do have a right to live. Success may come with too high a cost in the current speeded-up version of the "Hunger Games" for too many professionals.

Disclosure: I have strugged with clinical depression since age 11. Four members of my family had committed suicide. It required a lot of inner engineering to save my life.

Small changes can trigger big success in your career and your business communications. Also guidance for pre-retirement. Swing by for a complimentary consultation (janegenova374@gmail.com)

 

Baby Boomers, All Those NDAs We Had Signed ...

What professional - full-time or consultant - hasn't signed the NDA - Non-Disclosure Agreement? They have become standard business practice. For instance, even before I begin talking with a prospect about an assignment, usually I have to sign the NDA.business practice. 

Most of us just go along with this. In the lion's share of business transactions there's no fall-out from submitting to the process.

However, as Insider reports, that's not the typical situation in Silicon Valley. 

Essentially, employers contend the NDAs are about protecting the confidentiality of trade secrets. However, that's beginning to sound as hollow as Eric Grossman, chief legal officer at Morgan Stanley, stating that the return to the office by clients is necessary for the future of the legal profession.

Currently, the way most NDAs are structured there is plenty wrong with them. Those problems include:

• The language and the terms and conditions are over-broad. They can cover personal behavior off the job.

• The duration of the agreement can be lifelong. There is no end date.

• Typical is the non-disparagement clause. Of course, that is a form of silencing.

• There is ambiguity in what behavior is exactly prohibited. 

Is help on the way?

Of course. This is the era of employee activism. And it is hitting BigTech hard. For instance, Apple employees submitted a second petition about not returning to the office and being to do their work wherever.

In California, what could become law is the Silenced No More Act. It would restrict NDAs from including provisions about reporting harassment and discrimination.

business practice. For instance, even before I begin talking with a prospect about an assignment, usually I have to sign the NDA.

Most of us just go along with this. In the lion's share of business transactions there's no fall-out from submitting to the process.

However, as Insider reports, that's not the typical situation in Silicon Valley. 

Essentially, employers contend the NDAs are about protecting the confidentiality of trade secrets. However, that's beginning to sound as hollow as Eric Grossman, chief legal officer at Morgan Stanley, stating that the return to the office by clients is necessary for the future of the legal profession.

Currently, the way most NDAs are structured there is plenty wrong with them. Those problems include:

• The language and the terms and conditions are over-broad. They can cover personal behavior off the job.

• The duration of the agreement can be lifelong. There is no end date.

• Typical is the non-disparagement clause. Of course, that is a form of silencing.

• There is ambiguity in what behavior is exactly prohibited. 

Is help on the way?

Of course. This is the era of employee activism. And it is hitting BigTech hard. For instance, Apple employees submitted a second petition about not returning to the office and being to do their work wherever.

In California, what could become law is the Silenced No More Act. It would restrict NDAs from including provisions about reporting harassment and discrimination.

Small changes can trigger big success in your career and your business communications. Also guidance for pre-retirement. Swing by for a complimentary consultation (janegenova374@gmail.com)

78 - Could Late 70s Become New Retirement Age?

A woman writes into MarketWatch about a money issue. This coming February, she plans to retire. She will be 78 years old. 

Yes, 78 years old. 

I am 76 years old. I continue to operate my communications and coaching boutiques. In addition I run three syndicated blogs. 

I have plenty of company among those in their 70s who are also not yet retired. Maybe they will never be retired. After all, the head of Fox Rupert Murdoch is 90 years old. 

Not unthinkable: The 70s could be the new jumping off point from a career to retiring or just doing less intense kinds of work.

My retirement date? 2025.

Small changes can trigger big success in your career and your business communications. Also guidance for pre-retirement. Swing by for a complimentary consultation (janegenova374@gmail.com)

Baby Boomers - Have You Been a Lefty w/o Children?

"The author [of Hillbilly Elegy] turned Ohio Senate candidate JD Vance has blamed America’s woes on “the childless left”, singling out Vice-President Kamala Harris, transportation secretary Pete Buttigieg, Senator Cory Booker and Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for their own share of the blame." - Martin Pengelly, Daily Mail, July 26, 2021.

Billionaire conservative Peter Thiel is supporting Vance's campaign. Some will recall that Thiel had been the source of a type of "litigation funding" in "Hulk Hogan v. Gawker." That trial resulted in a nuclear jury verdict - $140 million. 

Well, likely many workplaces, even the progressive ones, would welcome the lefty w/o children. Whether the work situation is remote or in-the-office anecdotes recount over and over the challenges of balancing doing the job and being a parent. Not that it impairs the work product. It's just one more factor leadership has to focus on. For example, what kind of new benefit would help reduce stress for parents?

There is also the reality of how many children wind up "discarded." In the U.S., currently there are about 400,000 minors in foster care. 

In addition, the U.S. has one of the worst records for child abuse among industrialized nations. Each year, about 6.6 million children are referred to government agencies because of child abuse. 

Unfortunately, these realities don't throw shade on the Hallmark kind of messaging that champions family values.

An entrepreneurial type should produce and market buttons, hats, and t-shirts scribbled across with: Lefty w/o Children. 

Small changes can trigger big success in your career and your business communications. Also guidance for pre-retirement. Swing by for a complimentary consultation (janegenova374@gmail.com)

Baby Boomers - Earning the Right to Be Post-Adult

The amazing 2020 novel "Anxious People," by Fredrik Backman talks about the tragedy of becoming an adult. 

You lose the protections of being a child, then a teenager, and finally a minor in the eyes of the law.

You get it that nobody really cares about you. Not like your mum did when you were a toddler.

And, you have to go to work. If you don't you will not be able to survive (unless you are cunning).

Oh, we adjust to that rite of passage from things-being-okay to things-being-scary.

That in-between state goes on until we float into what I call post-career, post-money, and within not too many years post-life.

The age for that varies from person to person. Probably the head of Fox Rupert Murdoch, age 90, will never do that float. He seems to thrive being the adult. Maybe because he is in-charge. Most adults never get to be in-charge. Adulthood usually means a sense of powerlessness.

My float happened when I relocated from the buttoned-down midwest to a vestige of the wild west, near Tombstone, Arizona. That was December 2020. In May 2021, I celebrated one of those grim omg-I'm-in-my-70s birthdays. 

Then, that moment of clarity came to me: I can float.

I earned the right to be post-adult.

I had paid off all debt.

I had enough in an investment fund to be comfortable if I continued to follow a minimalist lifestyle.

Sure, I could continue doing assignments for clients. But it would be w/o the careerist angst.

In my blogging here and on my syndicated legal blog I could push the envelope on content. 

For about 52 days I have been post-adult. I have to admit, though, that I do look back.

For instance, in my professional orbit is one of those born-whole success stories - Brad Karp, chairperson of elite law firm Paul Weiss. In almost a competitive sense I wonder if he would ever float into the state of post-adulthood. My hunch is that anyone who piles up those many accomplishments lacks an inner floatation device. 

There are also my two new close friends here in the southwest. I admit: I am judging them harshly for having floated, well, prematurely.

They should have socked away more money.

They should have paid off all debt.

They should have picked up another marketable skill, just in case.

No, they haven't really earned the right to surrender the burden of responsibility. Of course, I keep that to myself. I do allow them in to play in my sandbox. But I also resent that they don't bring any toys because they hadn't worked long enough and hard enough to afford them. 

Then there is the sister from whom I have been totally estranged since 2003 - Anne Murga-Ring. Her LinkedIn profile is down. Her ex-husband wouldn't dish any dirt about her when I contacted him. There's nothing usable on Google. One of the few members of our tormented family who is capable of pleasure, she, I have to assume, gave up on the whole adult stuff as soon as she and her current husband reached that magic number in their portfolio (that varies, of course, from person to person). 

So, how is it to a post-adult? Well, it was Saint Teresa of Avila who observed:

"More tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones."

That's called The Tragedy of Answered Prayers.

Of course, when I was an adult I prayed for liberation from the stress about work, bills, how I was perceived, crazy relatives coming to vist, and much more.

That's what I got. That's a given in post-adulthood. The state of being is days of heaven before heaven. "They," that is other post-adults, say you adjust. I will give that 180 more days. Then, I might start up some adult stuff again. The lightness of being can prove to be unbearable. 

Small changes can trigger big success in your career and your business communications. Also guidance for pre-retirement. Swing by for a complimentary consultation (janegenova374@gmail.com)

Baby Boomers, Whether You Became a Billionaire or Not, You Still Didn't Win in America

"Father, forgive me. I had acquired wealth."

Finally, sizes up Bloomberg, the Apollo Fund is moving out of the shadow of scandal. Investors are re-committed. 

The specifics of the previous Apollo brand tarnishing included media-grabbing tidbits like association with Jeffrey Epstein. 

Okay, Epstein was a bad guy.

But the intensity of the hit to the Apollo brand and its one-time head Leon Black is not really about that, is it? The root of the self-righteous hysteria seems to be this: America's ambivalence about wealth. Both institutional and personal. 

On the one hand, the Puritan ethos had the acquisition of wealth as a the play-out of the right moral values. The lack of it was interpreted as a lack of those. That's not gone away. Shame on you. You're not on the list of billionaries under-40.  

On the other hand, there is the embedded meme: Money is the root of all evil. Had Black not possessed such personal wealth he wouldn't have been able to have become involved in a romantic dalliance resulting in a lawsuit against him and a countersuit by him, right. We're certain of that. We praise MacKenzie Scott for giving away so much of her wealth.

The problem is that the ambivance (along with the certitude) is growing. That means so much confusion. 

On an individual level, the Hamptons had become a symbol of decadence. The media does photos of disgraced "Today" executive Matt Lauer you know where: the Hamptons. 

As for institutional wealth. Where to begin. Yes, folks want the returns on their investments in public companies to be amazing. Simultaneously they want the corporations producing them not to showcase wealth in terms of power and influence.

No, they shouldn't be dictating where the employees are working from.

No, they cannot choose whom they want to hire.

No they can't just operate the business when there is so much suffering in the world. And, the brass is getting paid too damn much. Wall Street? You don't want your kid training there as a junior analyst. And as a lawyer do you want to work at a BigLaw firm representing Wall Street? 

A proven out public relations firm like Edelman might have to be parachuted in to design a campaign for rebranding wealth as an economic-growth necessity. It's like the car industry is the 1950s. What was good for GM was good for the creation of the middle class. Only the creation of more wealth now will restore that middle clas. Tighten that up as a message.

In addition, corporate leadership has to get smarter about identifying where the landmines are on this one and how to not step on them. That's the rub. What was a standard value a month ago is verboten yesterday and today who the hell knows. Check your values before you start announcing policies this morning.

That's why law firms' ESG (environmental, social, goverance) practices may be evolving into the most critical service to current clients and to prospective ones. That could be inventing a new category of what law firms do, in addition to the traditional transactional and litigation segments. Actually, that could be more important than the latter two. Will law firms come to declare that the real busines that they are in is saving American capitalism? Part of that is figuring out social justice for the clients.

Paul Weiss, chaired by Brad Karp, has captured that new core function of a law firm in how it has  positioned and packaged its own ESG practice mission.

Essentially the language is code for how to succeed despite what's happening externally and internally (employee activism). The current cultural upheaval doesn't get corporations off the hook for producing over-the-top financial performance. But they better do that and communicate about that in ways that walk the line on the perception of wealth.

Here is the Paul Weiss mission:

"Business leaders face greater pressure to increase their organizations’ resilience while simultaneously addressing social issues of importance to stakeholders. Our advisory practice helps companies navigate the legal, business and political ramifications of developing and implementing ESG initiatives. We advise on matters such as stakeholder engagement, corporate governance, crisis management, corporate social responsibility, sustainability, diversity and inclusion, ethics and compliance."

Meanwhile, the Delta variant has introduced more uncertainty. Folks don't like that. Individuals and organizations with wealth will likely be taking it on the chin. There could be greater expectations of help from them as well as vilification of what they are assumed to be about. Give us your money and get out of our sight.

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Baby Boomers - Remember How Mom Mandated We Be Practical about We Were Going to Earn a Living ...

"The Daily Beast spoke with 17 former and current support staff members who’ve worked as script coordinators, writer’s assistants, showrunner’s assistants, executive assistants, and production assistants. All of them said their jobs’ relentless demands and poor pay are unlivable. Even worse, they said, is doing this essential work in the same room as colleagues performing the same amount of labor for tens of thousands of dollars more than them." - Laura Bradley, Daily Beast, July 25, 2021.

Hollywood assisants could follow employees from Burger King, Chipotle and Dollar General out the door. 

However, when it comes to Hollywood assistants, mainstream America may not be sympathetic. After all, trying to break into Hollywood represents a wild dream. Hasn't the crazy economy since the post-9/11 recession chastened dreamers? Instead, get certified in X or Y field at the community college. Or, major in business or computer science in college.

In addition, as baby boomers well remember, our mothers hammered us to play it safe. For women it was to get a teaching certificate or train to be a nurse. For males it was a degree in accounting or to go the distance and plow through three years of law school. Glam? We were warned not to go there.

Then affluence filled the land. And the next generations were even encouraged to go to The Big City and pursue a glam career in whatever. Give it five years, they were told. The M.B.A. crowd, the lawyers - way too buttoned-down. 

Now, we could be circling back to extreme practicality in earning a living. When college students contact me for coaching they are caught between dream/glam and a career path that will pay off student loans and open them to those rites of passages such as starting a family.  

However that binary way of thinking might be total anachronism.

The Future of Work might create whole new models. Instead of careers in the traditional sense, Willis Towers Watson projects working as a continual path of acquiring new experience and skills. That will be the portfolio those wanting to make a good living will carry around. The game will be about income. That journey won't be linear. Last year the work was in apartment leasing. This year, by leveraging the regulatory part of that experience, it's a manager's position in a collection agency. Significantly more income. Title? Not so important. Status? Hey, that never did necessarily pay the bills. 

In a sense some of that has already kicked in. In marketing my communications and coaching boutiques the pitch is not the backstory or what's on a traditional resume. Instead it's about what I can accomplish right now for clients as a fee that fits that fits their budgets. Usually I leverage just-in-time experience. Pedigree? Not that relevant. The shift is to focusing on results. 

If those results are satisfactory to them then I can put all that in my portfolio. For now. Of course, there is extreme pressure to keep that portfolio up-to-date. Only very recent experience can be marketed.

Small changes can trigger big success in your career and your business communications. Also guidance for pre-retirement. Swing by for a complimentary consultation (janegenova374@gmail.com)

Baby Boomers, Maybe You Wouldn't Have Retired If VanLeeuwen Mac & Cheese Ice Cream Had Been Available

This is the way it is.

Professionals on the verge of burnout are continuing to experience the hour-to-hour angst of deadlines in their home offices. Piled onto that is more unhinging since they are uncertain if and when they will have to pivot back to that ultimate pressure-cooker: the office. Yeah, it's back to having everyone watch them while they watch everyone else. 

There are also the leaders. Take the chairpersons of law firms such as Brad Karp of Paul Weiss. They have to bring into synch clients' encouragements where work should be done and what associates prefer. 

And there are those new graduates of all kinds of academic institutions searching for jobs. Most of those fields are glutted with talent. 

The good news is that they can now have their 2 favorite comfort foods - mac and cheese and ice cream - in 1 serving. 

That's the miracle concoction VanLeeuwen Macaroni and Cheese Ice Cream. CNN Business reports that Kraft Heinz partnered with Brooklyn-basedVan Leeuwen Ice Cream. Retail it goes for $12 a pint. 

Here is the promo from VanLeewen.

This comfort-food experience had been rolled out as a limited edition in New York, Texas, New Jersey, and California. At the time it had been available both online and in ice cream specialty stores. Immediately it had been sold out. But it will be available nationwide. 

On social media, though, some panned this remedy for the Overwhelms.

But, mac & cheese ice cream might have prevented Baby Boomers like yourself from throwing in the towel on working. After all, there is no reason to retire. Fox media tycoon Rupert Murdoch is 90 years old.

Meanwhile, I am euphoric knowing I can pivot from the usual Nutella Hazelnut to VanLeeuwen Mac & Cheese ice cream. That might reduce the stress to the point that after a weekend of working full-time Monday doesn't feel like late Friday afternoon. 

If you want to loop back into the workforce, you can download free this guide Download Outwitting ageism.

What is your comfort food? Please let this blog know janegenova374@gmail.com.

Small changes can trigger big success in your career and your business communications. Also guidance for pre-retirement. Swing by for a complimentary consultation (janegenova374@gmail.com)

Baby Boomers - Finally, We Don't Have to Be Rich to Have Power

"For decades, large swaths of low wage service work have proved difficult to unionize because of fissured workplaces and aggressive union-busting by employers. Now these workers, many of them women of color—have taken the next best option, protesting through mass resignation." Lauren Karori Gurley, Vice, July 23, 2021.

Soon enough it won't be a story when the whole workforce walks off the job. And that isn't a strike. It's a quit. Like, we're not coming back. 

Currently it is the story, though, at Burger King, Chipotle, and Dollar General. A more sophisticated version of that is happening on Wall Street. Young analysts have been exiting for more humane work cultures. And, just the threat of walking out in BigLaw by junior lawyers has been shaping back to office policies (at least before the Delta variant). 

Meanwhile, freelance players have re-learned that they can make a good buck in the underground economy. No, they don't have to pitch over and over for assignments in the above-ground economy. So, obviously, if the balance of power between business and workers doesn't shift, the government is going to lose on plenty of tax money. 

Nothing is static. This use of quitting to send a message will evolve into legislation and litigation. Employment law practices will continue to blossom. 

And, all of us who exchange our labor for money will be making an existential assessment about what "work" means. That is part of how the Future of Work is playing out. 

Of course, corporations will stumble. That's where law firms ESG practices loop in. They provide both preventive guidance and fix-it operations for business when power is being redistributed.

JPMorgan Chase head Jamie Dimon can have all the money in the world. But that no longer ensures that he will control the levers of power. Already, he is being mocked for pontificating where work has to be done. And, Generation Z preferences about the values of the workplace are making Dimon look, well, old-line. 

Yes, Dimon has just re-opped with JPMorgan Chase. And, yes, that institution will probably still make lots of money. But there has been an unbundling of money and power.

Small changes can trigger big success in your career and your business communications. Also guidance for pre-retirement. Swing by for a complimentary consultation (janegenova374@gmail.com)