Back in 1986 - that is, before the world got really crazy - Judith Viorst published "Necessary Losses."
Essentially, it presented why we have to let go of illusions, expectations, people, and things in order to move forward. At the time - because the rhythm of life and careers was still relatively stable - it seemed more Eastern zen than Americana.
Currently, in this 21st century when nothing is a bit stable, it could be the only guide we really need. I can't think of any entity I shouldn't consider as a potential necessary loss.
The funny thing about that is this: The process of letting go can actually be a prerequisite for knocking off the weight after-70.
Two months ago, a client attempted to stiff me. I turned that over to a collection agency. Within five days, the invoice was paid in full. However, the emotional trauma lingered. As with adversity in general, that opened me up.
Two weeks later, I went through my Facebook list of friends, as well as LinkedIn.
I asked myself: What relationships make me feel worse after we interact? Those were purged.
Then, that 20th century phenomenon happened. One of the purged called me.
She had been a friend from graduate school. She asked The Why. Diplomatically but confidently I told her. The shocker was that I could speak up for myself. Had I lost my low self-esteem?
Among the unexpected outcomes from that episode of letting go was that I, age 72, have lost five pounds. Of course, I had given up on ever being able to return to my girlish figure. Not that I am there. But I could be on the way.
Is fat wired into yesterday's brain? Does it take forcing ourselves into the moment to be able to overcome addictions such as stress eating?
In 2011, executive coach Henry Cloud published a more up-to-date version of Viorst's classic. It is "Necessary Endings."
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