Does Prince Harry have a hunch that his brother Prince William might not be good for him?
And, should I finger my sister Anne Murga-Ring for any and all whatevers?
Probably science can't provide much insight on that.
As experts on sibling relationships and their impacts Nina Howe and Holly Recchia point out, there isn't much research on those issues. Here is their article.
From Sigmund Freud on, much more attention has been focused on parents. No surprise, in support groups, the lion's share of the conversation about the family origin stays stuck on Mom and Dad.
For three years, multiple times a week, psychoanalytic therapist David W. Harder and I probed my unconscious about parental influences.
It wasn't until years later that I had a lawyer access Harder's clinical notes and found out that from the get-go we seemed to be not a good fit. The tone and content of the clinical notes, which Harder initially refused to give me, indicated we probably were not on the same page.
Had we been, maybe I would have searched any undertow for imprinting by Murga-Ring.
The reality is that what's being called The Sibling Effect can endure longer than that of Mom and Dad. After all, most parents die years before we do. Siblings can outlive us.
For many of us professionals, executive coaches have replaced the old-line therapist. Since they understand the dynamics of the world of work, their approach is comprehensive. I present a problem about a client. Usually they can supply unique insight.
It was a coach who flagged me about the profound influences siblings can continue to have on us, decades beyond growing up under one roof. That's even if we no longer have a relationship with them. The last time Murga-Ring talked on the phone had been November 2003. Yet, she seemed to me to be hard-wired in my neurons.
Can we shake The Sibling Effect? Prince Harry is leveraging several strategies and tactics. Those include a geographic to Canada.
Since 2012, I have meditated. I learned the ropes at the Zen Center in New Haven, Connecticut.
We put on gray robes.
The mantra was "Clear Thinking, Don't Know."
There was no fee. On the way out, donate what you can.
In a workshop there on mindfulness, we were assigned work tasks and instructed to focus only on the task. Mine was window-washing. What I discovered was the Zen fundamental that nothing is good or bad. It just is. Washing the windows was just washing the windows.
There is the phenomenon of neuroplasticity. Through meditation and other practices we can rewire the brain. The Zen training, which I keep up daily, seemed to pull that off. My past with Murga-Ring is not good or bad. It was what it was. No longer exists an undertow dragging me into a sea I can't navigate.
Can Prince Harry find release from the past? From my experience I have a hunch he will have to work at that.
Here, free to download, is my book on exiting a comfort zone. Often pain is the comfort zone.
Smart global ghostwriting, with niche social networking know-how. Also communications coaching. Emergencies welcome. Complimentary consultation (pressure-free) janegenova374@gmail.com.
Comments