Yes, I had already put down the security deposit on a one-bedroom apartment about 10 miles from the "scene of the crime" here in Toledo, Ohio.
The location was a crime scene - metaphorically - because from the get-go more than the average number of things went very wrong.
I was set. Right. On December 28th I could move in. That would be more cost-effective than going with my dream: relocating back to Southwestern Arizona. The reality was that the five years I had been living in OH represented a time of coping - sometimes just barely. Not enjoying life.
The tipping point on the decision to stay rather than leave came when I called around for estimates to move my furniture. No, Plan A was not going to be cost-effective. The furniture wasn't even worth what the vendors proposed.
I returned to the drawing board. Could I really parachute into Plan B? That is, circling back to the Paradise of the desert.
On the internet I found an affordable apartment in off-beat Sierra Vista, AZ. It had been a mining town near the border of Mexico. In the middle of it is a military base. Weird little businesses have sprung up around the town, mostly to accomodate tourists going underground to visit the old mines.
Yes, I could lock in the entire apartment rental online.
The drive would be four days, with motels at night.
Shipping my furniture would have cost a king's ransom. So, okay, I have to approach the move as a startup in life, investing in furniture again.
The apartment at which I put a deposit indicated it would only return $100.
No, the decision, made abruptly, wouldn't be at all financially smart.
So?
Sometimes watching every hundreds of dollars or even thousands can doom us to unnecessary unhappiness.
On December 16th, my four-legged son LOV and I pull out of Toledo. AAA mapped out the southern route.
And, tomorrow, the local psychic is picking up my furniture to donate to the needy he knows.
That will be sad.
The one thing which went right in OH had been the merchandise I bought, including the bicycle I loved. Only years of Buddhist training on non-attachment has gotten me to the point that I can let go of that. I hope the bicycle brings joy to whomever will be its next traveler.
What are "they" - the busybodies who watch others' lives - saying about my (sudden) change of plans? Age has given me the gift of not-caring, at least not very much.
Christmas Day? I will spend it with a friend I had left behind in Tucson, AZ five years ago.
Takeaway: Go with intuition, not with what is supposedly a smart financial decision. Embracing the dream doesn't have to make any financial sense.
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