On MarketWatch, Mike Drak points out what the retired have already discovered: That transition from work to leisure is a rollercoaster ride.
The state of being starts out with anticipating the good life.
Next, usually comes the realization how much you depended on working for everything from solid compensation to identity.
Then, come the initiatives to escape the wild ride and put together a stable lifestyle.
In my coaching, it's at the third phase of the rollercoaster existence that men and women in their 60s and 70s come to me. They had tried a number of tactics to bring income, professional satisfaction and/or a post-career identity to their lives. Often, those had failed. And they are in angst that their lifestyle will never improve. As Drak hammers, being trapped in an unwanted retirement can be "hell."
Actually, those who have already experimented with solutions are on the right path. They have "owned" that retirement, unlike what they had assumed, is a problem to be solved. That solution might require several or even a large number of "pilot programs."
The most useful mindset for dealing with the whole notion of ending a career is as a rite of passage. It is as disruptive, soul-wrenching and, yes, exciting as other milestone developments in a life. Those range from pivoting from formal education to the world of work to starting a family to dealing with the empty nest.
The only way you got through those transitions had been by walking through them. Sure, you could tap into expert opinion. You could seek out psychotherapy. You could create informal support groups among friends. But, the "task" was your own.
Usually, there were bumps in that road. Fortunately, most of them were wonderful learning lessons. Yes, on the job, you had to come to understand the rules of a very different game than succeeding in academics. And you achieved that. Of course, that usually came with emotional pain. But most "sins" of inexperience are forgiven, including by yourself.
The same process plays out in exiting retirement hell. You have to admit the situation is new to you. You have to be open to new games. You have to forgive yourself (self-compassion) for mistakes.
And, you have to approach all this long-term. That reduces the sting of being reprimanded in the part-time gig assignment by a 25-year-old. Just position and package that as a tutorial on this brave new world you have chosen to enter. Part of the long-term perspective is that any income-producing situation isn't your last one. It is just one. Many other options are there for you. I explain that in the bible of how to land, hold and move on to better work at any age, here a free read Download Outwitting ageism.
Along the way, you could develop a kind of fresh career track. You get certified in counseling those with addictions. Soon enough, the rehab center which hired you part-time notices your business skills. You are promoted to the full-time job of Intake Manager. They put you on the board of directors.
What can be jarring is that your work experience likely will be much different than the one you had in your youth and middle years. What can help you embrace those changes is the recognition that even if you time-traveled to your 40-year-old professional self, you would also be encountering massive changes in everything from hiring to promotion to being let go in a reduction-in-force.
The elephant in the room on all retirement issues is: Should you do volunteer work? The answer is: That depends.
If you don't need income or the fixed identity of a professional, sure, volunteer.
However, if money has become a challenge and/or your ego requires a standard workplace title with pay, volunteering may toss you into a deeper level of hell.
However, volunteering is a proven way to rebuild a resume with marketable skills, reconfigure a network and restore confidence.
Reflection: You can prevent getting on that rollercoaster by anticipating the extent of the adjustment traditional retirement requires. Therefore, you opt out. You make the decision not to retire. That means continually searching for work and performing those tasks in a way that pivots you to better work situations.
The Future is already underway. Ghostwriting/Marketing Communications and coaching on those issues. Sliding scale fees. Complimentary consultation (janegenova374@gmail.com)
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