Over-50

No Longer Time-Bound (at least most of the time)

A realistic guide on how to manage aging is "Getting Real About Getting Older."

The authors Linda K. Stroh and Karen Brees, themselves both in their 70s, interviewed lots of older people. 

Among what they found out was that so many of us rejoiced that we were freed from the tyranny of time.

Yes, we had been the generation who grew up with platitude: The early bird gets the worm.

Parents gave us wrist watchers for our birthday instead of our own television. 

Being late for anything indicated a lack of character.

Now, most of us no longer had to set alarms.

There were no rigid schedules.

We binge watch shows late into the night.

We could get up whenever.

We wised up about our perfect right to select medical doctors, dentists, car mechanics, and grocers who conducted business on our time.  

Even most of us who were still working full-time were established enough to operate our tasks and client meetings around our own timing.

A night-owl since college, when I was struggling to establish financial security, I had to be available early in the morning.

That began with full time jobs.

It continued when I hung out a shingle.

After I relocated from the ultra expensive New York Metro area, then I could "afford" to choose accounts which allowed me to work until about 4 A.M., then be there "on duty" about 11 A.M.

As Roger Rosenblatt hammered in his book "Making Toast," we emotionally need less money as we age. So, yesyesyes, I could finally ignore the capitalist fundamental that I had to max the revenue from running an enterprise.

Other findings from "Getting Real About Getting Older" are:

• Universal shock that we were older. No one anticipated that.
• We all experienced being treated as "invisible."
• The inevitable identity crisis. We know who we were. But it will require conscious effort to put together a new identity.
• The worst of the aging process can be retarded by acquiring new interests and pushing ourselves to meet new people. 
• Yes, we have slowed down. But, since we are no longer tyrannized by time, that shouldn't matter. If it matters to other people, duck those types.

Coaching about landing, holding, and moving on to better work, no matter what our age. Complimentary consultation janegenova374@gmail.com. After that, sliding scale fees.

Here, free to click open, is my guide on all that Download Outwitting ageism.

Pop Culture Featured Hallmark Childhoods for Us Baby Boomers - Did Anyone You Know Experience That?

Supposedly timely for Mother's Day, USA Today provides a feature on outsourcing parenting. The tasks farmed out range from potty training to childproofing the residence. None of that comes cheap.

However, outsourcing parenting is nothing new in the history of civilization.

The most warm and fuzzy symbol of performing that important duty in society is nanny Mary Poppins.

From the days of Old Manhattan, anyone who cruised by the parks in Manhattan spotted benches filled with outsourced labor chatting among themselves as they keep a watchful eye on what was going on in the elegant prams.

Let's face it, childcare has always been a time-consuming tedious undertaking. Those with the resources to farm out most or all of that out usually did.

For example, in the 2019 book by Tracy Borman on Henry VIII, what's discussed as totally normal was housing royal offspring away from the family. That went on until the child could provide a useful function in court. The chronicle is "Henry VIII: And the Men Who Made Him" and here it can be ordered from Amazon.

But wealth and power are not required in that particular kind of outsourcing.

Extended families usually took on the role automatically. Given the necessity of searching, finding, and holding onto work, children usually were a bad fit. As infants through their teenage years, they were placed in the full-time or part-time care of grandparents, aunts, and even other young children.

That's practically the norm in parts of China as the economy changes. Parents flock from rural areas to the cities to work and live. 

Essentially that was a commonplace dynamic in the immigrant tenements of downtown Jersey City, New Jersey during the 50s. Sometimes a risk-taker would go out to California to escape factory work or cleaning offices. The offspring were left behind, usually for years. Neighbors who were scheduled for the night shift had the children sleep in the apartments of other neighbors. That's the way it was.

Of course, just as now, there also was plenty of total inability to care for children. Probably I never had children, always preferring rescuing and caring for dogs and cats, because my younger sister's care was outsourced to me.

My mother had been mentally ill. My father had two jobs, mostly to steer clear of the domestic tragedy unfolding. As an infant and toddler I was cared for by my grandmother and aunt.

From the get-go, the majority of my colleagues and clients had live-in nannies. They had to. With such a hyper competitive work world they couldn't risk not sleeping through the night. That would have been career suicide.

Meanwhile, with farming out childcare so expensive in major metro areas, it's no surprise fertility rates are plunging. Right now it's at a 30-year low. Also, in some sectors being a mother is perceived as a negative. One current lawsuit dealing with that alleged brutal reality in the field of law is "Doe v. Morrison & Foerster."

And those into pop culture will recall that Katherine on television series "A Million Little Things" felt forced to turn down the invitation to be partner. The terms and conditions wouldn't allow her to run home to have dinner with her son every night. She indicated that after dinner she would return to the office. That, the partners responded, would be a lack of commitment to the firm.

Soon enough, upscale neighborhoods in the United States will be overrun with dogs. There will be few or no children.

Exactly the right tone and content for all your communications. Complimentary consultation janegenova374@gmail.com.

 

Reimagining Capitalism - Can Best and Brightest Pull That Off?

"Citing crushing student debt, punishing hours and 'toxic' work environments, more than half - 58 percent - of beginning Florida lawyers believe their careers are becoming less desirable, according to the latest Young Lawyers Division study." In "YLD Study Tracks The Concerns Of Florida's Young Lawyers," in Florida Bar, April 30, 2019. Here is the article.

One might have expected this kind of rapid disenchantment in the pressure-cooker Northeast legal world. But, not in the sunshine state.

For newbie lawyers, Florida is turning out to be Paradise Lost. According to that same survey, 41 percent are considering a career change or had considered it. 

YLD president Christian George says this means at least one thing: The Florida bar is on the right track in focusing on health and wellness as a major priority.

Of those surveyed, 39 percent noted that they had experienced stress symptoms ranging from panic attacks to flashbacks. 

Those who feel they have a handle on the stress attribute that to one or more of the following:

Therapy

Giving service

Yoga

Exercise

Meditation

Journaling

Twelve step programs

Religion.

However, the young lawyers in Florida are hardly alone in being overwhelmed emotionally and physically by the work they do.

Stanford Graduate Business School professor Jeffrey Pfeffer documented that this is a global phenomenon.

His book "Dying for a Paycheck" provides details of how those in all kinds of jobs, from leadership to lower rankings on the food chain, suffer intensely.

That can literally kill. Either the worker dies of something related to the stress/long hours or commits suicide. Here the book can be ordered from Amazon.

Given the pervasiveness of the negative impacts of work worldwide one wonders if employers are truly sincere when they introduce health and wellness initiatives. Or, are they simultaneously sending a message that the work must still get done on time and on budget, no matter how all that is pushing human beings beyond their ability to cope.

Activists in myriad nations are reviewing the fundamentals of capitalism. Harvard Business School has an elective - Reimagining Capitalism. 

Exactly the right tone and content for all your communications. Complimentary consultation janegenova374@gmail.com.

We Baby Boomer Women Vividly Remember the Anti-Mother Bias at Work, Sometimes Subtle, More Often Blatant

On the popular new series "A Million Little Things," Katherine decides to turn down partnership in her law firm.

When invited to become partner she makes a simple request: She can go home to have dinner with her son nightly, then return to the office."

The firm perceives that as a sign of a lack of full commitment. Katherine decides not to go along with the firms' terms and conditions. She turns down the partnership. 

Back in the days when we Baby Boomer females were beginning to land well-paying jobs with big titles, we knew motherhood was not a plus. The mothers among us kept their lips zipped about the joys of family life when at work. Those anecdotes could and would be held against them. 

Katherine' situation a fictional play-out of the lack of accommodation some parts of the legal sector are willing to provide mothers.

In the class action lawsuit "Doe v. Morrision & Forester" there is the allegation of an even more serious kind of unfairness toward women.

Here is the coverage of the amended complaint, when a seventh associate joined the litigation.

And, here is a copy of that amended lawsuit.

The powerhouse in employment bias - Sanford Heisler Sharp - is representing the plaintiffs. 

In that class action, the contention is that pregnancy and maternity leave constitute a form of career suicide. When the new mothers return, they claim it was obvious that they had been sidelined. 

There is plenty more to the disconnect between the practice of law and the reality that some women opt to be mothers. Some of it is subtle. Some blatant. 

Of course, the legal sector is not alone in seemingly being tilted against mothers.

It still can be an advantage in corporate careers to be childless but part of a power couple. Upward mobility is enhanced by the ability to entertain and power couples versus a single woman provide the perfect formula.

Down the food chain, motherhood becomes financially impossible unless there is family in the area to provide childcare. Otherwise the commercial service is too expensive and often iffy in safety. 

It is no surprise the fertility rate in down, not only in the U.S. but most developed nations. Motherhood is too hard to manage, along with the demands of the new workplace.

In the recent book "Dying for a Paycheck," business professor Jeffrey Pfeffer documents the long hours and extreme emotional stress in workplaces around the world. Here it can ordered from Amazon. 

Ironically, the low fertility rate could bite those developed economies in the butt. For example, about 70% of America's GDP comes from consumer activity. When there are fewer consumers fewer houses, cars and bags of chips will be purchased. 

This Mother's Day the leadership in the legal and other sectors should rethink what message they are sending to women about having children. Currently the meme seems to be: You'll be not only on your own, you will put at risk your ability to earn a good living. 

Exactly the right tone and content for all your communications. Complimentary consultation janegenova374@gmail.com.

The New Aging - The New Ways Of Getting Stuck

The Baby Boomer generation might be the last one in the U.S. for whom professional success and personal bonding were easy.

We were given a rigid belief system: Go to college and the more education the better, find a soulmate by senior year in college, approach work strategically, apply the scientific method to solving problems, and be grateful.

With some exceptions, that MO panned out. That is, until the 1980s. Globalization, technology, and aging created upheaval in our professional lives. Those of us in middle management were targeted. Divorce became acceptable.

Here in the 21st century, the forces of disruption in our lives keep accelerating. Yet, often the way we try to get our heads and hearts around earning a living and emotional intimacy dates back to your youth.

Yes, we are evolving into the stuck generation. 

At the top of the list is recognizing our income is declining or fixed. That makes us prey for every financial planning huckster.

Not enough get it: Hey, maybe retirement was something our parents did. We can't. We have to continue to work at something, anything. Here, free to download, is my book on that how to land, hold, and move on to better work at any age Download Outwitting ageism.

There is nothing in the U.S. Constitution which guarantees we can stop working at X or Y age.

Next is the challenge of inflation. The cost of living in the locations in which we had most of our careers keeps going up. Yet, our income is stagnant or declining. We have to relocate to where it's more affordable.

But where? In Arizona? Not so fast, with all the folks from California migrating there to escape the impossible cost of living, everything is going up in parts of AZ such as Tucson. What about becoming an expat in Belize or Spain? Not so easy to adjust to the culture.

From about age 55 we should be spending our vacations sampling locations in which we could make our next home. Try out a variety of places.

If we don't do that, we get stuck in New York Metro area (where we had worked on Wall Street) or even Ann Arbor, Michigan (where we taught at the university). Our neighbors perceive us as "poor." To younger generations we are irrelevant. 

Then there is the matter of having at least one or two friends. Those in our circle die, move away, or just change. How we are stuck is being a closed system. Instead of going through the brutal process of reaching out to new social possibilities we reach back to the past. I did that, with traumatic results. Here is what had been an unnecessary tragedy. 

How we we begin becoming unstuck?

It isn't rocket science to pick up that we are being left behind.

In our social groups such as the coffee after the church service we are treated as invisible.

We embrace that reality. It's that iconic moment of clarity.

Then we make a list of what's not moving us forward in our lives, not any more.

Frequently, the stuckness is being created by being trapped in our old stories. We keep recounting how our jobs ended when there was a massive layoff at Corporation ABC. Or our significant other died.

It's simple: Stop telling those stories. Find new topics to talk about.

The bulletproof door-opener for both fresh professional and personal success to to re-learn how to listen. All of us did that back in high school. Then somehow some career expert socialized us to become the loudest voice in the room.

To exit hardened narcissism it could be useful to take a listening course. Among them are the Dale Carnegie introductory ones. Another method is regular meditation. That catapults us into the now. The how-to of meditation is available free all over the internet. 

Most recently my triumph in getting unstuck was letting go of the assumption that plans have to work out. The reality is that most don't. For three years I struggled to make living in the low-cost midwest a fit. The trick in letting go is not apologizing to anyone for arriving at a crossroads and taking the wrong turn. 

A useful read is "Necessary Endings." It's by executive coach Henry Cloud. Here it can be ordered by Amazon. 

Reflection: It's possible to be a Late Bloomer.

Exactly the right tone and content for all your communications. Complimentary consultation janegenova374@gmail.com.

 

Nonono - We Can't Come Across as Bookish

She loved everything in the draft of the book I was ghostwriting for her. The subject was a controversial psychological treatment.

With one exception.

She told me to delete all the mentions of books.

Oh, it was okay to include research studies, articles, blogs, posts on social media, and even podcasts.

But, ditch the books.  That was even though she was going to be the author of a print book. 

That itself didn't shock me.

Cognitively I know that books are a medium in decline. Sure there are bestsellers and game-changers. But they are atypical. 

Those in the know know that marketing and influence get accomplished in very different ways today. No, publishing a traditional book (at least outside academia) is no longer the price of entry for a shot at the big time. 

Instead, there is the option of the e-book. As a free download on websites that could develop new business, generate invitations to speak, and start the platform for a power brandname.

There are also tactics such as:

•  Developing a presence on instagram
•  Having a syndicated podcast series
•  Consistently producing engaging videos for YouTube
•  Creating a well-oiled publicity machine (nothing is left under the radar)
•  And, more.

The stunner for me in the client's ban on books was that they obviously had remained central in my life. I still read lots of them. I still reflect on them. I still assume they have reach to the point that I include them in client work.

The really unthinkable is this: Am I really stuck back in the print era? If so, then, how can I prevent it from "showing."

Finally, millennials have let me into their lives. To stay there, I can't be bookish. 

Exactly the right tone and content for all your communications. Complimentary consultation janegenova374@gmail.com.

Detox from Work Addiction

"Work addiction has been called this century's cocaine."  - In "#Chill: Turn Off Your Job And Turn On Your Life" by Bryan E. Robinson. Here the book can be ordered from Amazon.

It's unlikely that you will be directed to the employee assistance program if you're addicted to work. Or that a client will dump you. That happens when you're addicted to booze or drugs. 

What is more likely is that as a work addict, you will be promoted, have a big book of business, receive awards, be quoted by the media, and sought after for advice. 

Maybe you will emotionally shortchange those in your personal life, but, they are materially benefiting from your work compulsion, right. So you reassure yourself.

Also, the influence and power you have accumulated through workworkwork can open career doors for your children.

So, it's only common sense for you to maintain a work addiction. 

When a work addiction doesn't make sense, at least not any more, is when being in the loop doesn't bring you the old inner satisfactions. Or, worse, the rewards stop coming, that is, all that work isn't yielding the results employers or clients expect.

There are plenty of terms for that:

Burnout

Brownout (loss of fire in the belly)

Breakdown

Being forced out.

Then what?

Robinson's 2019 book provides a 12-month plan for detox, then putting together a lifestyle that doesn't require the work obsession. 

Or, there is also the free 12-step program Workaholics Anonymous. Here you can get the ball rolling on finding meetings. 

Another option is a total Do It Yourself (DIY). You have that moment of clarity. And instinct leads to what to change. It's not widely known that most folks stop abusing booze as a DIY. They get it that excessive drinking is ruining aspects of their life and that is that.

No matter what method or mix of methods you try out, recovery can be jarring - and rather slow. 

In 2014, I had that moment of clarity that working compulsively was no longer yielding the rewards it had. Also, I re-discovered how much I enjoyed that baby boomer medium: television. I really bonded with the members of the BAU on "Criminal Minds." 

In order to both halt the preoccupation with work and not financially need to work so much I did a geographic. That was a relocation from totally work addicted and pricey New York Metro to laid back and cheap southwestern Arizona.

That didn't take.

I got it that first I had to wrestle some demons to the ground. That required returning to the scene of a major trauma. And that I did.

Around November 2o18 came the psychic shift: I was released from the bondage of working all the time. When my lease is up at the end of August I will relocate to where I want, do only as much work as I want, and hopefully forgive myself for getting hooked. 

Exactly the right tone and content for all your communications. Complimentary consultation janegenova374@gmail.com.

The American Way

It was an international media sensation.

A poor girl born in Russia in 1991, with a stop-over in Germany, had figured out the American Way to wealth.

It was built through presenting the right appearance and funding whatever with money you didn't have - at least not then.

The trial of Anna Sorokin aka Anna Delvey ran about four weeks.

In the end the jury convicted her of three counts to grand larceny and four counts of theft of services.

Her sentencing date is May 9th. She faces up to 15 years in the prison. Here are more details from the media.

Among those bills she hadn't paid or wound up dragging her feet on were the invoices to law firms Perkins Coie, Gibson Dunn, and Lowenstein Sandler. Here is the media coverage on that part of her American style caper. 

Those who have worked in the big time understand perfectly Sorokin's game plan. In ghostwriting/scripting and marketing communications I have clients who operate their enterprises and personal lives on the sheer ability to keep the credit going and enough revenues coming in to pay simple bills like the rent to the landlords of the trophy buildings in Manhattan. 

Only a few times did that cross the line to illegal. For instance, there were arrests for habitual check kiting. 

Sorokin's error in judgment is that she thought she could pull that off without having some solid funding base.

Therefore, she probably felt forced to embezzle almost $300k.

Her lawyer Todd Spodek argued she had every intention of paying it back.

Okay, so did lawyers caught with their hands in the cookie jar embezzling clients' funds. Among them had been the fictional Will Gardner from "Abovethelaw." He got off easy - a temporary suspension of his ability to practice law. More often there is prison time. It is not uncommon for there to be suicides before reporting to prison.

Some might consider it a sad day for hustlers like Sorokin. They came, they saw, and they thought they could become part of the gilded era.

Always-yearning-to-be-rich F. Scott Fitzgerald captured that impulse in "The Great Gatsby." The protagonist of that novel paid for the right to be included with his life.

Meanwhile, Fitzgerald's punishment was an early death from chronic alcoholism. 

Exactly the right tone and content for all your communications. Complimentary consultation janegenova374@gmail.com.

Of Course, You Have Post on LinkedIn Updates

Experts haven't come to any definitive conclusions about the surging rate of narcissism.

But, therapist and best-selling author Shahida Arabi has some hunches. She discusses them in her book "Power: Surviving & Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse." Although published more than two years ago, it continues to rank high on Amazon. This afternoon it's at 7,473. Here you can order it from Amazon.

Among the factors triggering the uptick in narcissism, observes Arabi, is the dominance of self-promotion on social networks. Sure, that self-promotion is often is positioned and packaged as information. Sometimes posters get away with appearing to post as a public service. For instance, they are providing documentation for the harm X or Y causes. And they may be totally sincere.

But self-promotion it is.

And, you bet, it's necessary.

That currently extends from the brutal world of high school alpha-strutting to the stealth games of professional life. For the latter, the must platform to post on is LinkedIn Updates.

I tell clients just that: They have to be there on LinkedIn Updates. And once there no such entity as excessive self-promotion exists. 

But the downside of that is a hardening of sensitivity about human interaction.

Soon enough in the seeming compulsive self-promotion process the poster loses any interest in if readers are interested.

During in-person interaction (which there is less and less of in digital times) there is the glazed-over look. Online, there may be no likes, shares, comments or views. But posters rarely take note. They just keep posting and posting. The mindset might be: I'm in business, I postpostpost. 

That reckless disregard of others is an attribute of narcissism. Eventually it could become a formal case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. 

Meanwhile, that extreme lack of social skills can actually hurt the business or the cause. That's what should scare those who have made LinkedIn Updates their platform.

Over and over again, especially in this digital economy, human resources leaders are singling out soft skills as what their organizations need. Here is Deloitte's white paper on that.

In my research/ghostwriting assignments on implementing Digital First, 90% has been focused on raising the organization's and the individual's Emotional Intelligence. The technology will succeed or fail based primarily on human factors. 

So, the irony may be: The business is an effective promoter on LinkedIn Updates but it winds up going bankrupt.

The autopsy at the bankruptcy uncoveres that it had lost touch with clients/customers, prospects, and third-party partners.

Exactly the right tone and content for all your communications. Complimentary consultation janegenova374@gmail.com.

That Career Is Over - So?

" … [Madonna'] 'Medellin' failed to catch on. It rose to number 9 on iTunes briefly, and now sits at number 32 … Beyoncé's 'Homecoming' album, released the same day, has sold or streamed a total of 43,000 copies in 48 hours." - ShowBiz411, April 19, 2019. Here is the article. 

Here is the audio - chachacha - from "Medellin," which is the lead-in to Madonna's new album "Madame X." Out in mid June, "Madame X" is supposed to be the 60-year-old's comeback platform. 

Nothing about "Medellin" is fresh.

That's why Madonna is being positioned and packaged as "washed up."

It isn't her age per se.

Betty White, a relic from the Mary Tyler Moore era, is in her 90s. She did fresh. That was through creating the persona as the designated role model for aging. That process, she hammered in her book, wasn't for sissies. The world loved it. Still love it. She remains marketable.

The issue Madonna raises is the scary question for all aging who are still working: Is it time to leave?

But what they are leaving might well be a very narrow career path. No, it isn't necessary to hang it all up, disappear into a retirement community in Oro Valley, Arizona, and compulsively do yoga. 

ShowBiz411 points out that the last several albums Madonna has put out have been "flops." 

Instead of continuing to do what isn't panning out, she could be testing out other ways to distinguish herself through work.

Maybe she can launch a training institution for the performing arts in Lordstown, Ohio. GM recently shuttered the plant there, putting about 1,600 out of a good job and hope. She can open the door to the light for all the Youngstown, OH metro area. The region still is caught in the shadow of Steel Yesterday.

How do the aging and those no longer perceived as "young" come up with the courage to change?

I don't know about others.

What I do know is that for me the pain of becoming invisible was greater than the anxiety involved in trying out new lines of work. That experimentation in my professional life began when I was 58. Then, that same courage took over the decisions I made in my personal life. Here is one of those stories of brutal moments of clarity and then transition.

A useful read for those caught between career paths is "Necessary Endings" by executive coach Henry Cloud. Here you can order it from Amazon.

Exactly the right tone and content for all your communications. Complimentary consultation janegenova374@gmail.com.