Over-50

End of Life Issues - A Matter of Perspective

The mainstream euphemism for "death" is "end of life issues."

Once totally taboo in hard-charging optimistic Americana, death has come out of the closet.

On conservative network television, there are commercials about end of life responsibilities such as not burdening loved ones with expenses. So, buy this kind of insurance policy.

The Wall Street Journal has an article about how those in their 80s view life now that the ending is near.

And, my classmates from pre-gentrification Jersey City, New Jersey Snyder High School openly talk about the reality that one day they will no longer be here on planet earth. 

Of course, just like most phenomena in life, that each one of us is going to die generates myriad perspectives. 

When I was growing up on the mean streets of Jersey City, some folks who had it even tougher than the usual amount in immigrant neighborhoods were matter of fact. When they died, that was that. Over. In addition, they didn't anticipate any blissful afterlife. There was not going to be any reward for the pain suffered playing the game after being dealt a bad hand.

In my doctoral studies at the University of Michigan, the history of ideas provided diverse points of view of The Next after departing this dimension. 

At Harvard Law School, the subject was compensation for wrongful deaths.

And, when I bunked in senior housing complex Bella Vista in New Haven, Connecticut, the talk tended to be pragmatic. Such and such an apartment would become available for your good friend once the current renter, well, you know. 

Currently, in my circle of fellow baby boomers (yes, there are silos among the generations), the tone of conversations about our own deaths is shock. We who had been so important for experts, ranging from sociologists to journalists, to analyze and struggle to understand won't even exist any more. That's unthinkable.

Meanwhile, we are already living our lives differently, anticipating they will soon enough go kaput.

Among the modifications:

•  Not adopting any more companion animals. From what we have observed, family and friends don't take good care of the four-leggers who become orphans. Current angst is: Not dying before our current best friends do.
•  Having an up-to-date will for the state in which we reside.. That's a nuisance since some of us have made mistakes in relocating. We saw Arizona as Paradise. We did wills there. Now they have to be redo them since we are back east, at least as far east as we can afford, e.g. midwest. 
•  Finally pulling out all stops on a bucket list. Sure, we could make it to age 110 and need to fund those years but why the hell keep saving? The tough nut to crack is overriding the ranting of financial planners about how much we must have so that we won't wind up homeless. 
•  Questioning every platitude. A fellow boomer and I concluded that, no, relationships aren't everything. If we have one human being to confide in and depend on we are indeed fortunate. Also, that's plenty. People can be a pain in butt. No, we don't welcome more photos of your grandkids on Facebook.
•  Speaking our mind. Extreme verbal editing had been necessary in the peak of our earning years. Success happens through other people. Now, there is little or nothing to gain from holding our tongue. 

Alongside the challenge of embracing that we are going to die is the irony that that might not come for a long time. We ponder: Do we really want to be here in our 90s and beyond? In a retirement community out west where I coached the aging who still wanted to work there were many stealth suicides. Old old age can be undoable for some.

For those who are determined to still earn a buck from working, here is my guide, free to click open, on landing, holding, and moving on to better work Download Outwitting ageism. "At my age" (as Millennials would say) I am still hustling about 50 hours a week. My mission is to able to wave goodbye to planet earth from my word processor. 

Coaching, lecturing, and writing/ghostwriting thought leadership content on human resources and careers.

For individual coaching – sliding scale fees. Complimentary initial consultation. The special area of expertise is the displaced over-50 professional. Please contact Jane Genova janegenova374@gmail.com.

 

Transition - Before the Train Leaves the Station, Put Together Your Elevator Speech

In her 70s, Maye Musk remains a super model. 

In addition, she has become a best-selling author.

About a week ago, her book "A Woman Makes A Plan" was published. Immediately, it caught fire. Currently, it has the amazingly high Amazon ranking of 1,509. 

A central meme of "A Woman Makes A Plan" is the fresh opportunity that comes from starting over. Musk grabbed it during distressful parts of the her life and leveraged it as a platform for personal and professional success.

That's Musk's story.

Your own experience with starting over might not have been so rosy.

One major problem might have been this: You brought the past with you. Not only internally, that is, in your head, heart, and soul. You also didn't recognize the need to create a new "elevator speech." From the get-go that puts limits of possibilities.

Essentially the elevator speech is a short "commercial" which captures who you are and how that "who" can benefit others - employers, co-workers, subordinates, clients/customers, friends, neighbors, community groups, and other kinds of constituencies. 

The benefit could be as simple as uplifting their spirits and helping them feel better about themselves.

Or it could be letting them know you could be useful to them in their careers.

Ironically, the elevator speech is not about you. It's about them. That way of being other-oriented happens through the genius of well-done indirect communications. 

The elevator speech is all positive.

It requires an investment of your time.

And, you bet, you must put it together, fine-tune it, and practice it before you parachute into your Next. Remember you only have about 7 seconds to transmit the right message.

Advanced preparation prevents blowing it because once you're in-place you're overwhelmed. Such stress leads to blurting, disclosing negatives, and ignoring the nuances of human bonding. According to the researchers on mirror neurons, we humans influence each other, cell by cell. It's up to you to leverage that to your advantage. Otherwise you can become downright self-defeating in the new setting. 

Let's look at effective and counterproductive elevator speeches:

Effective: Isn't Cleveland special! (That level of enthusiasm puts you in the conversational driver's seat.) It's such a blessing to have a position with Jones Day. How the kids love their school.

Counterproductive: We're having an adjustment leaving Manhattan (That's an immediate put-down of Cleveland) But Jones Day made me an offer I couldn't refuse (You sound arrogant.)

Effective:  I'm here. Can't believe it. I was 6 years old when my family vacationed in Tucson. The rest of my life I made it my business to return. I want the kind of life you have. How blessed you are. 

Counterproductive: Los Angeles was such a rat race. Too much traffic. (That positions and packages you as a complainer.) I hope this works out better.  Does the heat get to you? (Listeners get annoyed that you didn't factor that in before making the decision to relocate.)

Effective. I want to hear all about you. (There is the Dale Carnegie fundamental of showing a sincere interest in people.) Can I treat you to a latte? (Free can't be resisted). Starbucks, I found, is on the corner. (You sound like you are making a real effect to make this home.)

Counterproductive: When I get settled let's get together. (No body cares about your state of being overwhelmed.) By then, I will probably heal from being unemployed from the crash in the legal market. (You brought the stink along with you.)

Sure, new starts can be brutal rites of passage. But that transition can be transformed into the adventure of taking on another identity. Graduates of elite colleges are willing to earn peanuts just for a shot at being hired for acting roles. Trying on another persona can be equally satisfying. Plus, the return on the investment could be extreme success, in life and work. 

Experts on building power relationships - be they dramatist William Shakespeare or sociologist Erving Goffman - hammer the importance of setting a face to meet all the faces out there. That entails putting together the right elevator speech. Then continually modifying it as time passes. 

After a year in Cleveland and at Jones Day, here is how that could play out:

Effective: Cleveland has been so good to us. But you know the needs more than we do. How can we make a difference? My two boys want to pitch in, too.

Ineffective: The long hours of work. I haven't even gotten to the museum yet. I shouldn't be annoyed but I am that my kids want me to coach their teams.

Takeaway: The most efficient route to success is through other people. It's your mission to talk your way in. 

Smart global ghostwriting, with niche social networking know-how. Emergencies welcome. Complimentary consultation (pressure-free) janegenova374@gmail.com.

Hey, Tell Them To Stop Talking Retirement to You

"Not all Americans find retirement to be a top priority." - Alexandra Malito, MarketWatch, January 3, 2020. 

Aging does not have to mean letting go of working for income.

In fact, found the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, over the last 30 years the number of those 65 and older who are employees or self-employed has tripled and the number of those 75 or older has quadrupled.

In short, just as in the Second Women's Movement in the early 1970s, aging in America is becoming all about choice.

There are those I interviewed in Oro Valley, Arizona, who opted to leave working and that was that. Sure, they admitted they could use extra money to "do what we want." But to them that wasn't "worth" being an employee again. 

On the other hand, there were entrepreneurs in Oro Valley I interviewed who had eased off but not stopped operating their businesses. It wasn't so much for the money. More it was to stay in the game. What they knew from those who did retire is this: Shortly after officially retiring one's professional identity goes poof. The phone, the email account, and the texts - all stop. There is The Great Silence. 

At age 59, I discovered the digital medium of blogging. It was so rare for a baby boomer like myself to embrace blogging, including for client assignments, that marketer Toby Bloomberg did an article on us. The coming of digital opened a whole new chapter in the careers of those who might have retired 30 years ago. Of course, I am still at it, with my three syndicated sites open for sponsored content. In addition, they are a key new-business development tool.

What also keeps me working essentially full time is that a communications niche which has collapsed - books - has bounced back. Weekly, I receive inquiries from those around the  world who need a ghostwriter or editor for their books. Increasingly those books are read on Kindle, not in print form. Books are the price of entry in professional services, ranging from management consulting to public affairs. 

On the internet, I also run into college classmates - Class of 1967 - who also have chosen to stay in the labor market. Among them is E. Jane Beckwick, art professor at a New York City college.

"These days," that's no surprise. It has become a fresh kind of status symbol to be still working "at our age." A sign of changing times, in the past four or five years, fewer are asking older professionals "Are you still working?" That has become as insulting as "Ok, Boomer." 

But, that doesn't mean there haven't been bumps on the road. For those struggling to land work or hold onto it, here, free to click open, is my book on developing the attitude needed to keep earning income Download Outwitting ageism.

In addition, for those who recognize they must change in order to be marketable and can't, here, also free to download, is my book on sliding out of a comfort zone. 

Coaching, lecturing, and writing/ghostwriting thought leadership content on human resources and careers.

 For individual coaching – sliding scale fees. Complimentary initial consultation. The special area of expertise is the displaced over-50 professional. Please contact Jane Genova janegenova374@gmail.com.

 

Stay Home Tonight - Do Your Failure Resume

For those who intend to do 2020 differently than 2019, a must-do is what is known as a Failure Resume.

January 31st is the last day to put that together. Why it's necessary is that it identifies patterns that have been obstacles in the past. That awareness can help prevent them in the future.

In addition, there can be a lifting of resentment against people, places, and things humans tend to blame for their setbacks. The Failure Resume gives the opportunity to take ownership of what part you yourself played in the disappointment. 

In her career-guide best-seller "What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20" Tina Seelig presents excerpts from her own failures in resume form. She focuses on three categories of failure: professional, academic, and personal.

You could add to or delete from that list. 

There is no one template. A simple version for professional failures could cover:

• What seemed like a sure thing but didn't pan out
• My direct role in the setback
• Lessons learned.

Sometimes it's useful to seek out input from others in creating the sections of the resume. Too often we simply can't see ourselves and how our mindsets and behaviors were destructive.

In 12-step programs that's how the Fifth Step goes. The human beings determined to free themselves of the wreckage of the past discuss their "character defects" with a person they trust. Essentially the attitude is: Here is what I think I figured out, but, is that the way it really went down?

The good news in all this comes from Seeig. She observes:

" ... if you aren't failing sometimes, then you aren't taking enough risks." 

The parents of baby boomers and even the older members of Generation X took few or no risks. Their model had been the job-for-life. It was irrelevant back then if they thrived on that path or not. No surprise, they eagerly embraced retirement. In contrast, the new status symbol is becoming who is able to hold on working the longest.

Coaching, lecturing, and writing/ghostwriting thought leadership content on human resources and careers.  

For individual coaching – sliding scale fees. Complimentary initial consultation. The special area of expertise is the displaced over-50 professional. Please contact Jane Genova janegenova374@gmail.com.

The Hustle for Work - What about Those "Auditions?"

Sure, the numbers have it that the job market in the U.S. is strong. 

However, what the statistics don't disclose is the lack of those really good jobs. 

There are fewer of them. And, as "What Color Is Your Parachute?" hammers, their shelf life is shorter.

The new normal is to be continually searching for work. Settle in? That train had left the station and is not circling back. On Amazon, used copies of "What Color" start at six bucks. There are also multiple copies, free to check out, in the public library.

Along the way to where we are now in the labor market, there has developed the phenomenon of the job "audition."

Essentially that is a mandate in the recruitment process that you do unpaid work. Yes, there are versions of that which do pay but the compensation for the "test" is frequently peanuts.

Regarding that requirement, older professionals (and some members of iGen) ask me: Should we invest the time in an "audition." Essentially what's being positioned and packaged as an "audition" is doing a freebie.

Employers contend that they need to have concrete evidence that you can actually do the job. 

But because the assignments bring no compensation, job and assignment applicants wonder: Should I do this?

After all, it could be that 200 folks are applying for the job. About 20 or more could be selected to audition. The odds of having your "entry" chosen aren't exactly excellent.

In addition, employers could be setting up a scam to hunt for ideas and not pay for them.

The New York Post published a feature on the growing use and misuse of auditions. 

Well, like so much in life and in how to earn a buck, there are no absolute answers. Here are 4 commonsense tips:

When Up Against It. If you perceive yourself as some degree of "desperate," then it's smart to do what it takes to earn income. At the time.

The "they" want you to take a a one-hour editing test. Sure, go along.

However, the "they" may want a comprehensive proposal on how to boost the reponses to the Call To Action and, if you get the assignment, it only pays $15 an hour. For your mental health, pass on that. No, you don't want to work with those players. The odds are they will operate a Dickensian type of employment situation.

Instead, grab a survival something, anything. There are plenty of them. One 56-year man I coached had only a two-month financial reserve, then it would be homelessness. He created several kinds of resumes and cover letters.

Quickly, he landed a security-guard contract job which provided company-paid training and uniforms. The compensation was above-average in the field.

When his confidence came back, he began to navigate back to his original career path.

Here, free to click open, is my book on getting, holding, and moving on to better work, no matter your age Download Outwitting ageism.

And, here, also free to download, is how to exit a hardened comfort zone. 

Your mindset should be twofold:

• There are always survival jobs. Most don't require auditions. 
• Nothing gets you work like already having work. If you are clever you can position and package that work experience on your resume as a useful fit on your career path. No, a survival job doesn't have to blow up the overall professional journey. 

When the opportunity is one of those plums. There are good jobs and good contract assignments. Those differ from the bottom-fishing for the $11-an-hour ones. Auditioning can be framed as a sensible investment.

A Millennial speechwriter was interviewing for a well-paid corporate full-time position with benefits. At the outset, the hiring team informed him that part of the application process required researching and writing a seven-minute speech on leadership.

It made sense to him to do that. No, he wasn't selected for the job. But he experienced no sour grapes. To today he assesses auditioning as a must-do for some kinds of quantum leaps on the career path.

When the employer doesn't seem legit. Applicants for work, beware. There are all sorts of scams embedded in the job market.

You have to use your intuition. Ask yourself: Does this particular business or supposed non-profit feel not-quite-right? Maybe the interviewer talks too fast. Maybe there's excessive gush about where the job can lead. 

Confirm your intuition by checking Glassdoor, Google ratings, and profiles of the leadership. Contact your government officials, such as the office of your U.S. Senator, about other methods of investigation. 

Ask around. 

If you are left with too many questions, don't move along to the audition.

The usual kiss-off is the highly professional phase "Thank you." No, don't shift to rage and blast the group. Before posting anything about the group on social media or social networks, bone up on the legalities of defamation and libel. Nolo is a free excellent legal source. 

You aren't sure. Nothing is black and white. Not in the kind of opportunity there is. Not in your evaluation of if the audition is worth doing. You have choices. That's the good and bad news.

No matter what your generation or what the economy is doing, forever there has been work available.

During The Great Depression, members of my immigrant family in downtown Jersey City, New Jersey, did cherry-pick how they would earn income. Even though they were at the bottom of the food chain, they trusted their hustle enough to exit the unthinkable.

One uncle wound up a boss on the Hudson River docks.

One aunt opened a grocery specializing in ingredients for Italian cooking. She and her husband did a FIRE (financial independence, retire early) before that concept went mainstream. 

Not all my family's money-making moves panned out. What was significant is that they didn't wallow in regret. No, they didn't get a bad taste in their mouths about how to earn a buck. They just kept moving along the employment continuum. 

There is nothing naive or downright dumb about going for this or that. The "they" want an example of your coding. You decide to do that. You don't get the assignment. So? 

On that one, you will be more astute next time in connecting the dots on what kind of risks you will take to better your earning situation.

Takeaway: You are in charge of your search for work. The "they" can huff and puff but they can't blow your self-esteem, hope, and future success away.

Coaching, lecturing, and writing/ghostwriting thought leadership content on human resources and careers.  

For individual coaching – sliding scale fees. Complimentary initial consultation. The special area of expertise is the displaced over-50 professional. Please contact Jane Genova janegenova374@gmail.com.

 

Born in 1960 or After? To Get Full Social Security Retirement Benefits, You'll Have to Be 67

That monthly Social Security check was supposed to provide only part of income after retirement. 

That was then, before the end of company pensions, the financial crash of 2008, college for offspring became so expensive, and medical expenses not covered by insurance went through the roof.

But those of you born in 1960 or after have to wait until you are 67 to receive your full benefit. That means that if your employer cuts you loose before that age you will have to scramble for work to pay the bills.

Research shows that the odds are that more than half of you will be forced out your job and only one-tenth of you will be able to obtain jobs with a comparable salary.

Here, free to click open, is my book on how to land, hold, and move on to better work, no matter your age Download Outwitting ageism. And, here is my book, also free to download, on how to change in ways that you will remain marketable. 

There's also another option. Suppose you are 60 years old now. You can apply at age 62 for reduced payments. For the rest of your life you will receive about 20% less than you would have had you waited until 67.

However, one financial school of thought on that is this: By taking Social Security early you can receive more over your entire lifetime than you would have if you waited five more years.

No matter what you choose, it's becoming increasingly the new normal that you will still find it necessary to continue to work for income. According to the Federal Reserve, at least one-third of those who retire bounce back into the workforce. Some of those are bored and searching for stimulation. Some can't adjust to having no professional identity. But most just can no make ends meet.                      

Coaching, lecturing, and writing/ghostwriting thought leadership content on aging.

 For individual coaching – sliding scale fees. Complimentary initial consultation. The displaced over-50 get back to work. Please contact Jane Genova janegenova374@gmail.com.

 

Radical Frugality: Hang Out at the Toledo County Public Library

Founding father Ben Franklin had been the primary mover in establishing a way ordinary people had access to books.

That was the public library.

Since that time - the 1730s - the public library has become a lot more than books. Essentially, it's a Third Place, where human beings like to hang out, in addition to their homes, work, and school.

Currently, there are more internet stations, CDs, and DVDs than books. Outreach includes training in everything from how to search for a job to operate Microsoft Office. Groups book the community room for activities such as presenting the secular-humanists point of view.

Obviously, all this requires money. If the funding is less than needed, then the local library system can deteriorate. The brand becomes a joke. People use it less. The media can pile on.

That's why smart public relations is a must-do to keep the flow of funding going. Funding sources usually include:

Federal, state, and local grants

County/city allocations

Levies and referendums

Property taxes

Donations.

One of the best examples of a public library which knows how to tell its story is the Toledo, Ohio Lucas County Public Library. 

Glance at the check-out receipt. At the bottom is, in bold type, the statement:

"You just saved approximately ____ by using your Toledo Lucas County Public Library today."

For me, on 12/28/19, the amount was $140. I had checked out:

Against Empathy

Utopia Is Creepy

What I Wish I Knew When I was 20

Sober curious

Fat, Forty, and Fired

You Are Awesome

Given that I relocated to Toledo at the end of August 2019 and had checked out an average of six books weekly that means that, as the Toledo County Public Library documents, I have saved about $2,240.

Those savings can be channeled into buying more from local merchants. You bet, the public library helps drive Toledo's economy. 

Not long ago I treated myself to one of those specialized bikes from Wersell's Bike Shop, located on W. Central Avenue. The perk from shopping local versus online from a major ecommerce retailer is personal service.

When the bike was making funny noises, Wersell owner Jill had her team repair it w/o charge. An institution in Toledo since 1945, Wersell creates the infrastructure for a biking culture. That enhances the city's green ethos. In turn, that adds to its national profile. 

Another brilliant promotional tactic is the library's seasonal "Program Guide." In print (how cool), the 69-page brochure lists, by branches, all the activities for that time frame. The January - April 2020 one, on pages 17 through 19, has for the Kent branch these categories:

Young Children (0 -5)

Kids (5 -10)

Teens (13 - 18)

Youth

Adults (18+)

All Ages

For adults, free digital courses range from an introduction to Canva to Google Sheets.

A third way Lucas County Library puts itself out there is through its ability to nurture old-fashioned word-of-mouth.

When I mentioned that I would go to Barnes & Noble to try to find a map of Toledo, a neighbor told me that the LaGrange branch stocks those (free) in the lobby. You got it, again I saved money.

In a lecture on architecture, several attendees noted the contours of the West Toledo branch. Go look at it, they told me. 

And, when I needed a book for an upcoming assignment, the local client told me to forget Kindle. The Lucas County library system acts fast on getting to us books not at that particular branch, even new ones. More money saved.

When The Recession finally hits, public libraries throughout America will find their funding in play.

Before that, they can be proactive.

They can analyze how Toledo positions and packages itself as the go-to community resource. They can import aspects of that model.

Public opinion probably has become more powerful than government, leaders, and even wealth.

Smart global ghostwriting, with niche social networking know-know. Emergencies welcome. Complimentary consultation (pressure-free) janegenova374@gmail.com.

Ok, Boomer Can Still Hit RealMoney, Not So for Millennials

Inheritances

Settlements in divorce

Current gains in the stock market

That last good job

The lucrative assignments still coming our way.

Those are among the ways Ok, Boomer can continue to hit Real Money.

Agreed, so much in the financial media had portrayed us as The Financially Lost Generation.

There's even a grim book supposedly capturing our sad state of financial affairs - "Fifty-Five Unemployed Faking Normal" by Elizabeth White.

Along with that is my own e-book, free to click open, on the struggle to land, hold, and move on to better work "at our age" - Download Outwitting ageism.

But, there are those of us who didn't get lost, not even for a year or two or three.

Many of us who did find ourselves knocked out the box navigated our way back. 

And the new group of 55+ seems to be connecting the dots on being financially solvent until 100 years of age or more.

Not so for Millennials.

BusinessInsider hammers how far they are behind financially where Ok, Boomer had been at their age. And once that financially behind, it would be a miracle if they ever caught up to where we are currently.

Their average net worth is about $8,000. One medical bill could wipe that out.

Their average student loan debt is $29,800. Almost half lug around that burden, like a sack of rotting whatever.

And with their average annual earnings of $35,592, the odds are against paying off the loans before they pile on lots of interest.

Meanwhile the cost of living is high. Major coastal cities have become unaffordable. A studio apartment in downtown Jersey City, New Jersey, near the Hudson, is about $3k a month. In the Midwest, even in Ohio cities such as Youngstown and Toledo where rents are declining, living without roommates may not be doable. In downtown Toledo, the one-bedroom runs $800 monthly. When I started out on Adulthood, rent was 50 bucks a month, utilities included. 

At the end of the day, the appropriate mindset may be that every generation has its blessings and curses.

Millennials have the tech expertise and never were emotionally or sexually hog-tied by Puritanism. For now, though, their opportunities in most jobs are limited. Their financial shot is through entrepreneurship. That's not easy.

We Ok, Booomer had affordable everything. Our downfall was the Disney meme of sustained happiness. We expected too much. Learning how to cope with setbacks and the phenomenon of aging has been brutal.

Let's all try our best to be open to joy in 2020. And to up our earning game.

Smart global ghostwriting, with social networking know-know. Emergencies welcome. Complimentary consultation (pressure-free) janegenova374@gmail.com.

Shame on Me: What I Should Have Learned in 2014

Back in 2015, The Atlantic nailed it in how it threw shade on 12-step program Alcoholics Anonymous.

The article, now a classic in the push-back against that traditional mode of substance-abuse treatment, points out that the program offers fellowship.

Members are welcoming.

Members are accepting.

Members go the distance to be helpful.

Yes, there is an extreme sense of belonging. 

Offering that appeals to what is probably so primitive in human natures: the longing to be part of.

The same dynamics seem to operate as a pull force in fundamentalist religion.

Sure, there is also the certainty provided by unambiguous beliefs. That creates a zone of mental safety. Hold that abortion is wrong and you will sleep soundly at night. Tough to turn that down.

As I found out in my six weeks participating in an evangelical church, the magic of total euphoria can be conjured up by simply being embraced fully by the minister and the congregation. A very seductive form of voodoo.

Not since I had become a passionate member of a 12-step program in 1981 had I experienced such an uplifting of my spirit. 

They let me in. They said I could remain in the magic circle as long as I stuck with the rules.

But, somehow, my background in critical reasoning shook me into admitting, no, maybe I didn't really belong. Not there. And, I even accepted: maybe not anywhere.

Increasingly, it's difficult to really belong. Those with more followers, likes, shares, and comments on social networks can doom us to the assumption that, no, we aren't welcome there. We are deluding ourselves that we are a part of. Eventually, there will be the message, blunt or wrapped in the velvet glove of civility, that we should exit. Leave the cool kids to enjoy each other, without us. 

No, the sandboxes of the digital era aren't really welcoming. 

Here is my takeaway, at least for now: As long as we fail to belong to ourselves - that is, treasure our little dance on planet earth for what it is - we are vulnerable to the machinations of institutions and individuals promising fellowship. 

Do I finally got it that self-love is the ultimate play-out of belonging? That is, that we belong to ourselves?

I don't know.

Over and over again I have been through the wringer on that one. Back in 2014, I had positioned and packaged myself to be the ultimate victim of the longing to belong syndrome. Here is that story. Unfortunately, the lessons had not been learned back then. 

My search for an emotional, social, and spiritual home had continued.

Perhaps one perk of having been a liberal arts student should have been being immersed in the history of ideas. Over and over again there had been evidence of how alone mankind is. Being separate is the reality. That's a central theme in Virginia Woolf's "To the Lighthouse." 

Smart global ghostwriting, with social networking know-know. Emergencies welcome. Complimentary consultation (pressure-free) janegenova374@gmail.com.

An Ok, Boomer Remembers Ram Dass

Ram Dass had evolved from Richard Alpert during his own journey.

Some of our generation - the baby boomers, now derided as ok, boomer - hitchhiked along.

Those were the late 1960s and 1970s.

Reared on the scientific method, we embraced mysticism.

Hammered from the get-go to be careerists, we dropped out (at least for a while). I worked 13 hours a day in a café on Calle de San Francisco in Barcelona, Spain. My best friend from college focused on liberating whatever in Cuba. 

With the help of The Pill, we shook off Puritanism. 

If we really got it, we put mind and body back together. The fact that we still are alive today bears witness that how we learned to take care of ourselves panned out. My buttoned-down sister died at 60. And, in our 70s, we have the courage to travel where Ram Dass directed us: into the mysteries of aging. 

As AP reports, Ram Dass has finished with that last lap of the journey - the aging part. He left this dimension at 88. 

His passing intersects with the celebration of the vestiges of Christianity. Even Pope Francis admits that the gospel according to Jesus Christ has become irrelevant. In history, 2019 could go down as the kick-off of Post Christianity.

Lots more also has changed.

Co-existing with our aging selves is only a part of the work Ram Dass has left us to do. But we are wiser currently. Instead of looking to a guru we realize that the answers are within ourselves.

The tough nut to crack, though, is opening the emotional and spiritual drawbridge, making it beyond the materialist alligators in the moat, and being here now. That is the title of Ram Dass' first book, published in 1971. On Amazon, it's still at 2, 681. Here you can order "Be Here Now," even if you're not an ok, boomer. 

According to sources, Ram Dass went gently into the night.