Over-50

New Culture War: Aging With/Without Grandchildren

Maybe it is a new kind of war: Those over-50 w/o grandchildren and those with them. Maybe the law just hasn't caught up to the realities of apartment living. Or, it could be that America is no country for children.

Whatever. I anticipate individual and class-action lawsuits contending children in a residential complex have been a public nuisance. This could become as much a legal trend as gender discrimination litigation against employers such as major law firms. In 2015, neighbors of a California family with an alleged disruptive child sued, contending that behavior constituted a public nuisance. Here is the coverage.

Here is my story.

For three hours last night, from about 5 P.M. to 8 P.M., the middle-aged woman and her two grandchildren were playing some form of dodge ball on the lawn outside her apartment in a West Toledo, Ohio residential complex.  The children didn't live there. The development is totally one-bedroom, not the kind configured for families.

Her apartment is two doors down from my apartment. But the yelling, crying, singing, and ball-bouncing made it right into my window. I was focusing on a client assignment, along with taking business-oriented calls. Yes, I have been blessed with plenty of communications projects. 

I asked the woman if the children could play elsewhere. She said "no."

I put a call into the Toledo police. 

An expert on public nuisance, I explained to the two officers, one female/one male, that I assessed the situation as possibly constituting a public nuisance. I was not concerned about being a good neighbor. My focus was on the law per se.

That area of the lawn was common ground. I noted it had not been designated as a play one. The police responded that, on the other hand, there was no sign that it was not a play area. 

Long story short, the assessment from law enforcement was that children were just being children. There was no law against that as long as that wasn't taking place during late hours.

The story did not have a happy ending. If this kind of behavior happened in the future, there was nothing I could do about it.

Could there be the need for a future law on children - that they can only just be children in certain areas? Those do not include densely populated apartment complexes configured for adults living without children. 

In Oro Valley, Arizona, where there is a boom in senior-only housing, there are strict rules about grandchildren-visiting. Those cover everything from how long the visit can take place to where the children are allowed on the facility. It might prevent feuds among neighbors if that kind of policy-making be leveraged in all kinds of housing.

The premier branding some residential complexes, for home ownership and rentals, could acquire could be their rules about children just being children. You bet, I am on the look-out for that kind of living situation. I am willing to pay more for that arrangement.

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FIRES w/o Happy Endings

The FIRE concept (Financial Independence, Retire Early) has caught fire in terms of a doable goal - and a fantasy.

But those who do achieve that, reports MarketWatch, might discover they are staring into an identity abyss.

On their way to retiring early their primary focus was on funding the FIRE. They gave little thought to what would come next. The result can be an emotional fallout, including anxiety, from having no professional identity. 

In addition, financial worries can continue. After all, unlike retirement at the designated ages, FIRE does not bring with the cushions of Social Security monthly payments and Medicare. There is reason to worry. Personal finance expert Suze Orman contends it requires about $5 million to pull off a long-term FIRE.

There have been a growing number of situations in which those who retired early simply ran out of money. As the media reports, one woman's rental property proved too complex for her to manage. A couple's computer had been hacked and they lost their crypto assets. Also, without Medicare, along with supplemental insurance, medical bills can trigger a bankruptcy. 

Like every other life-changing decision, FIRE has to be carefully thought out - and not only the financial part. Work is what capitalistic America is all about. When not engaging in it, one can sink into invisibility.

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Economic Refugees - Don't Get Yourself into a "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" Pickle

According to the Social Security Administration, the number of retirees receiving their monthly checks outside the U.S. zoomed up 40% between 2007 and 2017. And the media such as CBS calls those on the receiving end around the world "economic refugees."

Like all refugees, they fled their roots to find a better kind of life.

But instead of coming to the U.S. as so many from Europe did in the early 20th century, they are heading out of the U.S. to low-cost nations such as Ecuador and Mexico. 

Many of those suffered investment reversals, especially during The Crash of 2008. Others just have had with hustling. They don't want to chase after part-time jobs and gig work after they finish up their official careers. Then there are those who have had it with American values. Yes, they can truly re-start their lives without the pressure of having to be wealthy - or, at least appearing that way. 

The best way to navigate this decision is to use vacations from work to travel to those distant places.

Reading about it isn't enough. The film "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" made that point. Brits who outlived their assets travel to a retirement center in India - without having visited it before. It's an unfinished edifice. 

More common is the disappointment that routine tasks of life, such as fixing broken plumbing, aren't done on U.S. time. Those who are supposed to do the work often don't have a sense of urgency. So, those expecting the kind of service typical in America become unhinged. 

That shouldn't surprise. Even a domestic move from the New York Metro area to the American Midwest usually requires toning down The New York. Otherwise the retiree is going to wind up isolated.

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Now, Imelda - Maybe Retiring in Texas Isn't Such a Good Plan Either

Climate change is factoring in with retirement planning. 

The usual for more older Americans is the need to relocate where they did their careers to where the cost of living is significantly lower and, hopefully, the weather more moderate.

Increasingly, because of climate change, they are finding they might have to re-think their choices. 

Now, revisiting tentative plans could include Texas. Tropical storm Imelda could dump 18 inches of rain in the Houston area and winds could reach 40 miles an hour. 

Already, Doria has made Florida and the Carolinas less attractive to retirees.

In addition, temperatures are stuck at extreme levels in the southwest which used to be Paradise for retirees. It's not only the heat that could discourage retiring there. It's also the cost of the needed air-conditioning. That could unhinge a tight budget.

Another complexity has been added to the serious issue of retirement. 

Not getting results from your marketing communications? Complimentary consultation – janegenova374@gmail.com.

 

Aging W/O Family, Like My Sister Anne Murga-Ring - Hey, That's Totally Doable, Frees Up Holidays for Travel

In November 2003, my younger sister Anne Murga-Ring and I became estranged. I was 58, at the time: young old. 

But even then I got it: I was w/o family, at least the nuclear kind. Parents and older sister had died. Relationships with cousins and their children, always frayed, had split their seams. I felt unhinged. After all, the ethnic ethos in America is All in the Family.

Now, experts on aging confirm that my distress was appropriate. They warn that navigating aging can be more difficult w/o family. Increasingly, more of us are winding up just that way: flying solo and often flying blind.

What's coming up is the 16th anniversary of that estrangement. In my thinking and in how I conduct my personal and professional affairs plenty has changed since then. 

Let's cut to the chase. What I have discovered is that a satisfying secure life can be put together while getting older w/o any family members. 

This is what I know:

• Actress Betty White, who has become advocate for older Americans, has hammered that aging isn't for sissies. This stage of a life represents as challenging a rite of passage as transitioning from formal education to the world of work. Therefore, I had to and continually still have t0 invest time and attention in figuring out what are the obstacles and opportunities in no longer being young. The number-one problem was denial. The major advantage was breaking open to forms of satisfaction beyond a career.
• Estate planning doesn't mean creating an inheritance for siblings. My beneficiary is an animal cause.
• Lawyers can be contracted to handle every detail. That ranges from whether to pull the plug to closing down all matters after I die. Sure, there's a fee. But there is also always a kind of fee in the complex maze of family relationships. 
• Holidays can represent startups. Mine has been to use them to see the USA in my Chevrolet. That need not be expensive. Discount Motel 6 takes dogs free. LOV, my four-legged son, enjoys the holidays as much as I do.
• Developing a small circle of trusted allies is mandatory. They provide early warning systems of what is going wrong. During the past two years that network has included a millennial. She flagged me that I had to end my preoccupation with money. I had "enough." And enough is enough. In the book "Making Toast," Roger Rosenblatt pointed out how little we really need later in life. 
• For those of us still determined to keep working, an executive coach is useful. From mine I "needed permission" to turn down assignments I didn't sense were a fit. Sure, I have down cold the Pareto Rule (80% of revenue comes for 20% of clients). But the residual insecure parts of me still required permission.

Not that getting older has been a wonderful "growth" experience. However, the process took on the quality of an adventure when I got the hang of transcending my own comfort zones. Here, free to download, is my book on all that. 

As my communications clients were observing how I was mastering aging, w/o family, they asked me to assist them. Where they especially found guidance useful was the professional identity piece. They wondered: How could they play better the cards they still held and how could they manage to get different ones? Yes, it's possible to be a Late Bloomer. Look at Betty White, Clint Eastwood, et al.

I have added over-50 coaching to the menu of services I offer.

Coaching, lecturing, and writing/ghostwriting thought leadership content on aging.  

 

For individual coaching – sliding scale fees. Complimentary initial consultation. The displaced over-50 get back to work. Please contact Jane Genova janegenova374@gmail.com.

 

Aging - Sensing You're No Longer Who You Used to Be Professionally

Professionals over-50 come to me for career coaching or ghostwriting a book for them primarily for this cluster of reasons.

They sense they're no longer at the top of their game.

They fear others also perceive them that way.

And they observe that their competitors are younger than they are and armed with tools, such as technical wizardry, they don't have.

After listening to them, I usually have to agree that their professional identity is in transition.

Probably everything has changed and continues to change. And they may never recapture the extreme mastery they had of their former game.

In addition, there is the reality, especially since The Great Recession, of cost-efficiency in organizations. They are at a high salary. The organization decision-makers could determine that is too high. Soon a much lower-paid millennial replaces them.

The irony is that once they embrace those developments, they find the insight and drive to play better the cards they hold and to figure out how to get some better cards.

One professional in a prestigious public relations firm, for example, knew she was losing ground. While her brand still had some clout, she conducted a stealth search for a leadership communications job in a nonprofit. That's where she is now.

A hair salon owner, whose customer base was shrinking, sold the shop when it was still marketable. He didn't get what he had hoped for but it was enough to fund an entrepreneurial effort in selling online specialty hair products. It looks like he could reach the breakeven point within another year.

A nonequity partner in a law firm saw the handwriting on the wall. He was no longer able to bring in enough new business. Unfortunately, he didn't put together a career transition before he was let go in a stealth layoff. But he has been receiving interviews for a variety of positions in which he can leverage his legal background.

Of course, there are the professionals whose careers aren't impacted by the combination of industry change and aging.

But if you're not among them, you can still enjoy a fulfilling professional life. Only it may be different from what you had mapped out in your mind. Here, free to download, is my book on finding your way out of your comfort zone. 

Coaching, lecturing, and writing/ghostwriting thought leadership content on aging.

 For individual coaching – sliding scale fees. Complimentary initial consultation. The displaced over-50 get back to work. Please contact Jane Genova janegenova374@gmail.com.

 

Post-Successful Career: Failing Retirement

The toughest rite of passage among successful professionals is moving on to retirement. 

In her book "Retirement reinvention," Robin Ryan discusses how many are failing at that. That is, they can't put together a meaningful lifestyle after their career ends. Signs of the failure range from boredom to a sense of being irrelevant. 

Given the combination of the need for extreme cost efficiency and age bias, what we traditionally classify as a "career," is ending sooner and often abruptly. Jobs are quitting the older professional versus the professional deciding to hang it up. In denial of that reality, many simply haven't prepared for the transition.

The rawness of being thrown up against The Next is nothing new. As Don Draper from "Mad Men" brought out in his iconic Kodak slide show, teenagers mourn the loss of the identity of being a child. Few ever emerge from the years of formal education and glide smoothly into the very different context of work. 

Yet, the expectation is that the passage into a post-career part of a life should be almost an instinctual process. 

Instead it is being put out there for what could be 30 or 40 years without any guidance from the past. Today's retirees are generational pioneers. 

Some, after suffering greatly, are finding a path toward meaning - as well as the added income to make ends meet. The Federal Reserve documents that one-third of those who rode into the sunset have headed back into the workplace. The amazing thing is that they can accept the lower compensation and status of those jobs. 

Another experiment is radical relocation. It's not simply the move from pricey Manhattan to less expensive North Carolina. It's the willingness to start over again in Mexico or Ecuador. They are fleeing the "Cheers" phenomenon of everyone knowing their name. 

A third is training for another line of work. That can range from becoming certified as a substance abuse counselor to long-distance truck driver. Unlike the academic degree route, this way is fast and relatively cheap. 

And, a fourth is wild experimentation. In total openness, former comfort zones are fled. The introvert does the online dating. The extrovert takes a seminar in listening. Everything becomes possible.

The major obstacle to mastering this rite of passage is usually the aging themselves. They tend to shoot themselves in the foot. Here, free to download, is my book on taming the dark forces which keep human beings over-50 from grabbing out for a new kind of satisfaction.

Coaching, lecturing, and writing/ghostwriting thought leadership content on ageism.

 

For individual coaching – sliding scale fees. Complimentary initial consultation. The displaced over-50 get back to work. Please contact Jane Genova janegenova374@gmail.com.

 

 

Forced to Age-In-Place - No One Wants to Buy Your McMansion

Years ago, Baby Boomers did what they assumed was very smart.

After all, they were the first generation to attend college.

Many became class migrants, that is, emigrated from a blue collar background to white collar. 

The smart decision, they were convinced, was to invest in buying or building a McMansion in the suburbs. That, they calculated, would generate the lion's share of their retirement nest egg. Meanwhile, they had a trophy property their children could be proud to grow up in.

The assumption has turned out to be wrong.

As ZeroHedge reports, the McMansion isn't selling. That means that those whose game plan was to retire/semi-retire, sell the McMansion, and relocate to where the cost of living is lower are having to figure out another way to fund their supposed golden years.

There are a number of reasons why demand for the McMansion is down.

At the top of the list is the change in taste. Millennials prefer smaller totally modern dwellings. McMansions have become long in tooth.

Also, many can't afford to buy that much house.

And, the suburbs no longer provide the kind of lifestyles that have become popular. What's in are locations in which it's possible to walk to everything, not be stuck in a car driving even for a quart of milk. 

Therefore, Baby Boomers who looked forward to a fresh start in a lower cost location are being forced to age-in-place - literally. 

The good news is that there are ways to pull this off and maybe even enjoy the strategy. That's what's called "co-living." The owner rents out private rooms in the house to those who can also pitch in with some chores. For example, one renter will have landscaping skills. Another is a house painter. A third still can drive a car and owns one. All share common areas, ranging from the kitchen and living to the deck and yard.

Some Baby Boomers already lived like during the CounterCulture or in boarding houses in university towns when earning degrees. Of course, the arrangement works out financially. But it also provides a built-in social network. The brutal isolation associated with aging doesn't happen.

Other good news is that everything changes. The McMansion will probably be back in demand. There's just no telling when.

Not getting results from your marketing communications? Complimentary consultation – janegenova374@gmail.com.

New York State - Retire Just About Anywhere But There

Affordability.

Culture

Weather

Wellness.

Based on all those metrics, several recent surveys document that New York state is among the least best places to retire.

Depending on what organization is conducting the survey, New York state ranks at the bottom or a only a few notches above. Here are more details from the New York Post. 

The New York Post, along with myriad other media outlets, has been tracking the exodus out of New York State by all generations. That includes millennials uprooting from New York City.

The uprooting reflects the phenomenon that most of the Northeast is simply unaffordable.

It's not just the property taxes or the rent. It's also the cost of transportation. Getting to work or just getting around eats into the budget. For example, the New York City subway system used to be the poor man's human conveyor belt. Now, it's hardly cheap. Crossing any bridges in a car also empties the traveler's pocket.

However, other options for retirement or just setting up an adult lifestyle keep shifting.

Parts of southwestern Arizona are no longer cheap.

Climate change positions and packages old standbys like eastern North Carolina as question marks.

State auto registration inspection laws, as in Texas, rule that location out for those with clunkers which would never pass those safety and emission tests. It's become very expensive to buy a new car. Even a sedan can run five figures. The new rule of financial common sense is to keep the old car going. 

Meanwhile some midwestern states such as Ohio are getting a careful look. For instance, Toledo is among the top 10 places to retire in terms of affordability. Residents there have to cope with winter but other seasons are moderate. Part of the cultural infrastructure is the art museum. It's free. There are also the University of Toledo and a 50-minute-ride away is Ann Arbor, Michigan where the University of Michigan is based.

No matter what state is tried out as a retirement choice (yes, tried out, since rising cost of living could force those on fixed budgets out) the emotional and social adjustment can be brutal. 

In April 2014, I pulled out of the New York Metro area. There were two reasons for relocation.

Price was only one of them. Yes, rent kept going up. (I had sold my house because of escalating property taxes.) Car insurance was wild. Going into New York City became a three-digit financial transaction.

The other was that it had become possible to do business without being near the media capital of the world. Then and now, nearly all my assignments are through telecommuting. 

To reverse that and return to pitching in person I would have to invest in brandname professional attire, designer hair styling, a high-quality attache case, and a late model car.

Not having to do all that any more has allowed me to continue to invest. Despite the volatility, my Edward Jones financial planner Michael Hernan has enabled me to build new wealth. He listens. I made a point of needing a conservative approach. Hernan structured that in a way that didn't limit ROI opportunities.

That's the positive side of migrating.

What throws shade on those outcomes is that only now am I getting my footing in feeling a sense of being home and having those in the new location invite me into their circles. This weekend, to use that old-fashioned saying, my dance card is full. 

During that time of such inner distress I had developed enormous compassion for my immigrant relatives who journeyed from Italy and Poland to Jersey City, New Jersey. I remember their having it hard. But only in the last 5+ years have I been able to factor in their emotional and social challenges. Those immigrating or trying to currently might have no idea about the ordeal of adapting.

Not getting results from your marketing communications? Complimentary consultation – janegenova374@gmail.com.

Eastern North Carolina - Is That Another Paradise Lost to Extreme Weather?

Way before "relocation and retirement" became a niche topic in media, the aging concerned about cost of living and snow were hearing about eastern North Carolina as "the where to go." In addition to being affordable, it was by water and close enough to friends back north. 

Doria might be the tipping point in an abrupt shift away from that thinking. As The New York Times reports, the meme has veered away from living in Paradise to: Can we endure yet another hurricane? Preoccupation with extreme weather has become the mindset.

The implications are huge. And not only for those near retirement investigating where to build their next nest. Incidentally, their numbers are growing as the Northeast Corridor and much of the West Coast become unaffordable, even for generations in their prime earning years. 

What are some of those implications?

The real estate industry could be shaken to the core. It will be increasingly unlikely home buyers will shake off that eastern NC seems to have become a geographical victim of climate change. 

Corporations looking for a cost-efficiency edge might no longer look at eastern NC. Businesses already there might pull up the roots they began to nurture and replant themselves elsewhere. 

The young could flee after college, just as they had in western Pennsylvania after the steel industry collapsed and before the Pittsburgh Metro area diversified. 

Current residents could wind up, eventually, evolving into The New Nomads. They will gather up what they can from their present life and search for the kind of lifestyle they once had - elsewhere. 

It should be no surprise, as The Wall Street Journal reports, the real estate market in the Midwest has become hot. Most of that region has been spared the worst of climate change, at least so far. Economic developers could be connecting the dots on that one.

Not getting results from your marketing communications? Complimentary consultation – janegenova374@gmail.com.