Over-50

Those Old-Neighborhood Moral Guidelines - Collapsing in COVID Times

In the old neighborhood - and the ethos in film "A Bronx Tale" - snitching was verboten. There was even the saying, "The snitch winds up in the ditch." And the kid tattletaling in school back then wound up with gum in his or her hair. Or worse.

That code was like a religion. 

Now, such a value system may be breaking down. Daily Mail reports that Boston College has opted to encourage members of that academic community to report on those not observing measures to prevent COVID. That seems to be positioned and packaged as a "duty," associated with  a system of cherished values.

Of course, Boston College is not alone in making prevention a collective responsibility. And, disclosing the names of those not conforming has become beyond acceptable. In some circles, it's considered the right thing to do.

Long term, that old-time bias against snitching could collapse as part of our society. Future generations might be puzzled why the boy in "A Bronx Tale" sided with the gangster, not law enforcement.  The moral guidelines some had acquired in the urban neighborhoods of yesterday might evolve into kinds of crimes against the people.

A one-time kid who grew up on the mean streets of pre-gentrified Jersey City, New Jersey, I feel my value system being blown away. 

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Those Formative Moments - Why a Social System Can't Forgive Linda Tripp

InternGate whistleblower Linda Tripp (1949 - 2020) will never be forgiven. Not even in this era when we recognize that all human beings have flaws, sometimes serious ones. Meanwhile, the universe has come to smile on the man at the center of the scandal - Bill Clinton.

In The New York Times, Irina Aleksander tries to humanize Tripp. However, she admits Tripp's legacy essentially will remain that of a miscreant.

Aleksander, for example, provides background on Tripp's childhood - a mode of analysis which had become standard on hit crime shows such as "Criminal Minds." Her father was a bully who abandoned the family. That was after abusing both Tripp and her mother. With no family money for college she was on her own. But she made it all the way to a good secure job in public service. 

So? Many others have Dickensian childhoods. Yet, they don't violate the fundamental human contract of not deceiving and ratting out those they convince are their friends. Such an ethos was how it went in "the old neighborhood." That "the old neighborhood" represents any aspect of our lives which shaped our deepest values. The term metaphorically captures what makes us believe in our notion of a society. 

According to the old neighborhood values, the snitch wound up in the ditch. Usually, it was a broken windshield. For kids, it was gum in their hair and a bloody nose. Worse, though, it would be if the mob such as from "The Sopranos" had been involved.

The popular film "A Bronx Tale" recounts how nine-year-old Calogero doesn't identify gangster Sunny to the police as a murderer. The unique bond forms. Those bonds, the audience seems to agree, transcend traditional types of law enforcement and "justice." Emotional ties are precious.

Baby Boomers might recall an office culture, during the boom times, when no one leveled being a tattle-tale in order to get ahead. Instead, we went to night school and acquired the M.B.A. Currently, though, whatever one says or one does can be disclosed in a negative manner to the brass (even if the brass is too overwhelmed to even want to hear all that). No doubt that reinforces the antipathy toward rat Tripp.

So, Tripp will remain in the history of American politics as Unforgiven. After all, she could have feigned friendship with any of us. Then recorded what we confided. She could have also given us dangerous advice. It was she who guided Monica Lewinsky not to dry-clean the blue Gap dress. Had Lewinsky not been able to provide so much evidence, she might not have suffered as much as she had. Ken Starr would have had less to go on.

Unlike Tripp, there is some forgiveness - along with smirks - for Lewinsky.

Where are we now with all this? The Tripp saga reminds us to reach back into those experiences which were so formative in our lives. It's there we should ferret out the values we want to be judged by.

Mine had been on the mean streets of pre-gentrified Jersey City, New Jersey in the 1950s. When local police and even the FBI swung by, we knew to look dumb. On the stoops of tenements, we stopped our games and stood mute. That meant we stood together. Years later during the college ethics course, internally I rolled my eyes. Those were not the old neighborhood rules of morality.

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Please Take Care of the Dog - Healthcare Workers' Gut-Wrenching Concern

Who will take care of the dog? That is, if any of us becomes infected with COVID-19? The need for care could be temporary and we will recover. Or it could be long-term, if we don't recover.

That concern is palpable among healthcare workers, notes Dr. Sara Hebab in USA Today. Yes, their soul-wrenching angst is about that their dogs have loving caretakers.  

That preoccupation isn't new, of course. As we age and family members/close friends die or become alienated we can loose sleep about our pets, ranging from dogs to ferrets.

Sure, we can put something in our wills about their care. But by time the lawyer is located the pets can be whisked away by whoever or whatever finds our body. You bet, paste the will in a prominent site in a residence. Carry a dup with you when traveling.

That's exactly why an ethical concern for those without family who are aging is: Should we take a new animal companion into our lives? Even with family, those pets might not have a soft landing. Repeatedly I have witnessed the death of peers. Supposedly a significant other or acquaintance was to take responsibility for the pet. All too often, the animal wound up in a shelter. In one senior citizen complex, the dog or cat was often just put out on the street, to struggle to survive. Usually they lacked those survival skills.

Having an animal as a companion involves detailed planning - usually bringing a lawyer into the loop - about its fate after our deaths.

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Template for Transcending Your Stuckpoint

I felt I had been kicked by a horse.

Twice, in fact.

That sums up my 2 encounters of the unexpected kind with search firm Heidrick & Struggles. Here are the details, for readers wanting to find out more.

As the months went by, I couldn't shake the trauma.

Yes, I was stuck.

Even though the 2 antidepressants I had been prescribed afterward have been kicking in, the flashbacks continue. The apparent smugness enrages me. 

The healthcare worker asked me if I wanted to "talk with" (that's how they put it nowadays) with a psychiatrist. "No" I answered. 

I had a sense that I could manage this DIY.

NPR presented the therapeutic experience of a Millennial woman who had been raped at age 13. Because of shame, she kept that under wraps ("Law & Order SVU"  provides many episodes with that plot line). However, beneath the floorboards the trauma was screaming louder and louder at her. Therefore, she was willing to try a modality focused on reducing the power of a stuckpoint.

Essentially a "stuckpoint" is an event which puts a chokehold on a human being because it is believed as true. But it isn't. The therapeutic intervention aims to lesson the power it has over us. Eliminate it? Probably that's not possible.

The process starts with writing down what we believed happened.

I penned:

One morning I sent an email to Heidrick & Struggles coaching division as a follow-up to lock in a time for a video interview for a contract coaching assignment. Earlier in the week those in the loop had set up 3 time choices and that's where it stood.

I assumed that this was the on-the-ball response. Yes, show that you are REALLY interested by eagerness to move along to the next step.

Out of nowhere (at least in any reasonable scenario of expectations) a partner (why the hell was a partner communicating with someone pitching for a gig assignment) chastised me.

I felt kicked by a horse. In the head. Everything swirled around. To stop the swirling, I sent an email back indicating I was withdrawing my application for an assignment.

2 anxiety attacks later I notified Heidrick & Struggles' departments of law and human resources about what had gone down in email. A former corporate ghostwriter, I also left a description of the event with the chief executive officer.

The horse galloped by again. Another kick. A lawyer in Hedrick & Struggles legal sent a disembodied email to me. Yet, aren't lawyers trained somewhere along the line to use the tone and content of persuasion. Nonono, I haven't been the same since then.

Next was the exercise of analyzing what the facts really were. That is, pivot from the hardened memory back to the actual event.

After plenty of tries, what I arrived at this:

An old-line company snapped at me. With no reason. I had done nothing wrong. Then legal leveraged old-line talk-like-a-lawyer to have me go away.

How do I feel now?

Here I write:

I had done nothing wrong.  A potential vendor, the ball was in my court to follow up. Yes, I will continue with my mission to tell my story of what shouldn't have occurred in a routine communication with Heidrick & Struggles. Others who are treated likewise shouldn't have to suffer as I did.

The stuckpoint, which had hardened into a boulder, is reduced in size. The conventional wisdom is that I should be able to transform this negative into a platform for growth. That may or may happen in the future. Right now I am grateful to feel somewhat better. My gallows humor (I come from a funny family) is that life is about pain and when it passes (temporarily) that's what joy consists of.

Meanwhile, the revenue for my two boutiques shrunk as I was downright stuck. Shame replaced feeling good about myself. Self-doubt gnawed at my self-confidence. Questions preoccupied me as to why any business would behave like that in this era when Emotional Intelligence is how success is happening.

Reflection: The burden is on those with the most power - that is, the folks who can hire us for work - to be human in these difficult times. 

The Future is already underway. Ghostwriting/Marketing Communications and coaching on those issues. Sliding scale fees. Complimentary consultation (janegenova374@gmail.com)

Hope As We Age - Dutch Model for Managing Dementia and Euthanasia

"Dutch medics have been permitted to sedate dementia patients with sleeping pills ahead of their euthanasia to prevent them from objecting to the injection. The sedatives will be used in cases where a patient can no longer consent to treatment having previously sought euthanasia when their condition deteriorates." Darren Boyle, Daily Mail, November 21, 2021.

This permission came as a result of a Dutch Supreme Court decision. Dr. Mariou Arends had been convicted of murder. The case involved a patient with dementia who had earlier given consent for euthanasia. However, when the time came, there was resistance. The patient's cognitive condition had declined, though, beyond the capability to give consent for a sedative to be administered before the euthanasia process.

The Dutch Supreme Court overturned the murder conviction.

That legal ruling in the Netherlands should provide plenty for all in the loop of medicine, ranging from medical doctors to government policy makers to judges, to analyze. Currently, those bearing witness to the family and community suffering as a result of dementia would likely opt for not only euthanasia but structuring it the Dutch way.

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When Lawyers (and law students) Were Heroes - Remembering the Counterculture

"Applicants to law school are up 32% thus far, which admissions experts attribute to everything from the death of Ruth Bader Ginsburg to the fact that would-be law students have more time on their hands.' - Karen Sloan, Law.com, November 17, 2020.

Of course, that doesn't mean that the lion's share of those applicants accepted will show up next fall to take a pricey seat in a law school. However, let the deans enjoy this development. 

The meme is: Law school is the hot ticket. 

The endless speculation of why this is happening is fun. And we will grab fun wherever we can find it. 

For Ok, Boomers this chase after the law degree brings back memories of the counterculture.

It was predictable that the protest against The Establishment Everything would wind up in the admissions office of law schools. Traditional middle class youth got it that they could scare the jesus out of the power structure. During the Eisenhower Administration they had been socialized to revere authority. 

Intoxicated with finding out the authority figures could be shaken to the core, they then often took the next logical step to keep acquiring influence over The System. That was becoming a lawyer. 

They had  the perfect lawyer model. The hero of one of the movements within counterculture  was lawyers Ralph Nader. His mission was getting a fair deal for consumers. Among the strategies for reform Nader used the courts. That was in addition to his books such as "Unsafe at Any Speed" and his youth movement Nader Raiders.

The ethos of the counterculture may have resurfaced because of the current era of extreme activism. Along with old-line theatre in the street, there are now the platforms of social networks and digital-native media outlets. Within minutes those protesting can find out how much reach their points of view have had. In counterculture days the wait was until the evening broadcast news. 

On campuses like the University of Michigan which were safe harbors for the front lines of the counterculture, law students were perceived as the good buys. M.B.A. students were scorned. They were headed, it was assumed, to fill the offices of GM - a main target of Nader's attackz. 

Like then, right now business could take it on the chin. Its shot at salvation could be to participate in reimaging capitalism. Nader brought about the concept of consumer protection. The new gen of activist lawyers could take on capitalism as it has functioned since Puritan times.

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Capitalism - Brutal System for Aging Workers

Timing is everything. The McKinsey Global Institute decided it is time to examine capitalism. Its study is "Rethinking the future of American Capitalism." 

Simultaneously, capitalism unleashed amazing prosperity and a grim layer of have-nots. The system has become especially brutal for the aging worker. As ProPublica documents, the majority of older workers will be forced out of their jobs and only one in 10 will, if they are fortunate enough to land another job, will earn comparable income.

Futurists look at how to bridge that gap. Harvard Business School had an elective on reimaging capitalism.

On the front lines of retrofitting capitalism are executive search firms such as Heidrick & Struggles. A mishmash of search for a large number of sectors, it even has one that does search for law. The issue is: What kind of talent is Heidrick & Struggles looking for?

I got a bad taste in my mouth when I bumped up against a partner for its coaching function and lawyer in its in-house legal department. Is the talent search back in the 20th century? Here is my story. For Q3 2020, Heidrick & Struggles had a devastating net loss. Here is that earnings report.

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The New Game: Even Before Applying for Work, Vet Vet Vet

Apply.

Try it.

You don't know.

That had been 20th-century career guidance about the search for a job.  

Now, careers are mutating into, as Wallis Towers Watson explains, portfolios of broad and nonlinear experiences.

And traditional jobs are reconfiguring into hybrids. They are part contract work and part a new social agreement with employers for benefits. Uber is on the front lines for introducing what is being called "The Third Way."

With such disruption in how we earn a living it's become imperative that we, well, look before we leap. That is, research the organization instead of simply applying. That includes our search for gig assignments. Otherwise, the experience could prove as much a pulsating trauma as working for too long at a job which isn't a fit.

Not too long ago, I tossed over the transom a resume for a contract part-time career coaching opportunity with search/leadership development public corporation Heidrick & Struggles. Here is how Heidrick & Struggles positions and packages itself on its website.

About sending in an application - No big deal, I thought. From a family of immigrant businesses in pre-gentrified Jersey City, New Jersey, I have been pitching since 11 years old. Back then, I had a Wallace Brown greeting card enterprise. As a fundraiser for Sacred Heart elementary school I sold the most subscriptions to the Newark Star Ledger. That got me a 3-speed bicycle as the grand prize.

Well, it turned out that pitching to Heidrick & Struggles was quite the big deal. That is, in terms of what I haven't been able to shake. Not yet. Maybe never. The new folk wisdom out there is that we don't heal. We just learn.

Here is the story of my two raw experiences with Heidrick & Struggles. I remain raw, as if worked over with a old-fashioned cheese grater.

When I share this trauma with close friends, essentially their response is: You got out of it. And, indeed, that I did. As soon as I received that now-infamous email from the Heidrick & Struggles partner, I replied that I was withdrawing my application for contract assignments. 

What should be obvious to all those searching for work is that "getting out" can come with a high emotional cost. With so much volatility in the global economy, those hiring can become downright uncivil. Sticks and stones can break our bones and words can hurt us. At the top of the list is our confidence. 

The cost to me of applying in error to Heidrick & Struggles might be over-the-top. I will never really be able to calculate that. We represent a confluence of forces. My soul-wrenching experience with Heidrick & Struggles was one among several. It hadn't been sweetness and light during the Trump Administration and COVID-19.

But, what I do know is that I will leverage my networks to vet an organization before I apply for any kind of work to deposit in my portfolio of broad and nonlinear experiences. I will also investigate how far along those work settings are in being "The Third Way" kind of employer.

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God Bless America - Joe Biden Is Our President

This was worth waiting for.

May God bless America and the next four years of the Biden/Harris Administration.

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Used Cars - Fischer Honda's Curtis Gambrell SuperHero of Seniors on (tight) Budget

It makes solid financial sense for those near retirement/semi-retirement to opt for a used car. The reasons for that sensible choice range from lower sticker price to less a rate of depreciation. 

But, after decades of being able to pony up the funds for new cars, you can be leery of the supposed risks involved in the pre-owned market. However, necessity rears its head. Despite all the green talk about ditching the car and going with an e-bicycle or public transportation, most locations and weather patterns require, yes, a car.

So, what to do?

Here are two musts.

One, go to a dealer with a trusted brandname. Among them is Fischer Honda in Ypsilanti, Michigan. There is a whole corporation behind that dealership. In addition, the dealer has to embrace the business practices of that respected brand.

Two, ask around about the leadership at the dealership. Those businesspeople are responsible for ensuring the sales staff and mechanics are there to serve you, not max their own income. 

At Fischer Honda the leader of pre-owned sales - Curtis Gambrell - takes on the role of superhero for the elderly on a tight budget.

He sees to it that you get into the right car at the right price. The process can actually be angst-free. And, you drive away with the feeling of being very smart about how you decided to shop.

Gambrell makes business personal. 

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