Over-50

Let's Practice Our Moves to Get Invited to "World of Dance"

Last night on NBC's "World of Dance," the all-female group Radiance wowed. 

Unlike the sharp-edged "Shark Tank," this competitive reality show tends to be gentle. Members of Radiance were mentored to re-think if they should have a lift in their show.

The dance contestants, ranging from solos to large groups, are judged by Jennifer Lopez, Ne-Yo, and Derek Hough. In addition to the exposure, they have a shot at the $1 million prize. "World of Dance" has its third season and as a lead-in for the popular "Good Girls" its ratings could grow.

The show celebrates movement. That could reduce the unhealthy habit of putting in excessive screen time, including playing video games. A clever public relations agency could represent a corporation or nonprofit associated with wellness and partner with "World of Dance." The meme could be "All the Fun Moves."

Another public service outreach could be inviting over-65 groups to perform on the show. It is interesting to note that at least once commercial has an older couple putting in the moves.

Need affordable help strategically planning and putting together content? That ranges from blog posts and e-books to planning/scripting podcasts and creating traditional speeches. Complimentary consultation on how to generate influence and sell without paying high rates, janegenova374@gmail.com. 

Has Your Career Been Deep Disappointment? - You Bet, You Can Retrofit It for Joy

Call it the Manifesto for the Professional Class.

In The New York Times Magazine, Harvard Business School M.B.A. Charles Duhigg chronicles the disappointment of his former classmates. The setting for those woeful confessions was their 15-year-reunion. 

Of course, in attendance were those whose careers had taken a body blow. Examples of that range from being forced out of your executive position by the Machiavellian crowd to finding our in the maternity ward that the firm was being stolen by partners. 

Those were the extreme cases.

More common was disappointment in the nature of their work and the conditions under which they had to perform it, despite the rewards of earned wealth, status, and even fame.

In a sense this phenomenon could be labeled "The Lost Capitalists." After all, Harvard Business School is the boot camp for training for the front lines of capitalism.

However, that same experience of disappointment is also pervading the over-50 crowd in law. Most I informally interview confide their regret about taking their career "so seriously." 

One, for example, positions and packages that in the wishful thinking that she had become a cop, like Jamie Reagan on "Blue Bloods." He turned his back on what his Harvard Law School JD could have brought him. The first decade of her career was spent applying her legal skills in state government. That was the high point. Later, all the hopes for recapturing that high turned into a handful of dust. Yet, she continues to lack to courage and strength to leave practicing law for another career path.

The form my own regret takes, in the vineyard of the communications industry, is that I hadn't started on the path right after college. I could have had the opportunity of sampling tons of what seems like they would have been meaningful roles.

For example, I had the talent and push to land a cub reporter job at The Jersey Journal, in my hometown of Jersey City, New Jersey. Instead, I embraced the then blind faith in higher education: the more the better. I went off to matriculate for a doctoral degree in linguistics and literature. 

What Duhigg hammers is that those who derive satisfaction and joy from the work they do to earn a living fall into two categories.

Those who experienced setbacks early. They had been his classmates who never made into being hired into the top tier of capitalism, that is, positions with McKinsey and with Apple.

They had to make sense of that rejection. The energy they invested in understanding that, as I put it bluntly, they were just another Bozo on the bus had a high ROI. After other setbacks they were not the ones who jumped off a high-rise in Manhattan.

The author of The New York Times article - Duhigg - was among those not invited to get into the top box. Accidentally, then, he found his passion in journalism. 

Those who framed what they did as contributing to others' well-being. They might have been janitors in a healthcare facility. But they were convinced what they did helped others recover. 

Over and over again, during my decade in animal rescue, I have bumped into that phenomenon. The executive directors of shelters earn relative peanuts. However, they radiate extreme satisfaction. 

Given that many of us will be working, like Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger, into our 80s and 90s, it's worth investing in retrofitting our work life toward where we can unleash a feeling of wonderment in work. Fourteen years ago I did just that by committing to blogging. To do posting-just-in-time, I would turn down lucrative assignments.

Quick anecdote: Last week I had the ugly experience of assuming a big account would come my way and it didn't. It only took four days to bounce back. Before blogging, hahaha. I would have nursed that hurt and allowed a grudge to fester for years. 

Need affordable help strategically planning and putting together content? That ranges from blog posts and e-books to planning/scripting podcasts and creating traditional speeches. Complimentary consultation on how to generate influence and sell without paying high rates, janegenova374@gmail.com. 

Tax 29 - Tax-Preparation Upstart Saving You Hundreds of Dollars (in OH, PA, CA)

Money talks.

So, it was the loudest voice in the room when Andrew Reigstad at Tax 29 told me the bill for my 2018 was $50.

Last year for a similar tax return for 2017, H&R Block charged $440. Reigstad looked over that 2017 return done by H&R Block. He estimated that at Tax 29, that would have cost about $80.

In these uncertain times, tax preparers, such as Reigstad at Tax 29, are superheroes.

I can sock away the $390 I would have ponied up had I returned to H&R Block. That brings me closer to FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early).

Or, I can blow off economic angst, take care of my homesickness, and travel back to the New York Metro area where I had grown up. I had re-located from there five years ago. How I long to get stuck in traffic on I-95 all this coming weekend. 

I found out about Tax 29, which serves Ohio, Pennsylvania, and California, through a clever television commercial.

A guy shuffles in, saddled with doom and gloom. A friend asks him what is the matter. Then the sad sack bellows in pain that he had just paid a king's ransom to have his taxes done. And, overall, his tax situation is fairly simple. The buddy tells him about Tax 29.

What an ah-ha moment. That $440 fee had been haunting me. I couldn't shake it off. So, even though I hate leaving my comfort zone, I decided: Hey, why not try out Tax 29. The rest is a totally happy ending to the usual cost and trauma of doing taxes.

Reflection: Tax 29 can disrupt the tax-preparation industry just like Netflix ate Hollywood's lunch (dinner, and breakfast).

Need affordable help strategically planning and putting together content? That ranges from blog posts and e-books to planning/scripting podcasts and creating traditional speeches. Complimentary consultation on how to generate influence and sell without paying high rates, janegenova374 Need @gmail.com. 

Nice - That Puts You on the Defense

Creative genius, yes.

Unique sense of style.

The right timing, of course.

But, the edge Karl Lagerfeld created for himself was what the Daily Mail refers to as his "acid tongue." An example: He referred to singer Adele as "fat."

That's a tactical device Lagerfeld, who died at age 85, had in common with lawyers, of course.

The most successful lawyers understand how to choose just the right phrase to disarm with bluntness - and get away with it, in the courts of law and public opinion and at the negotiating table. The game doesn't happen on the playing field of nice.

In the classic television series "Law & Order" prosecutor Jack McCoy used searing plain-speak. In "Boston Legal," Danny Crane was able to stop short, in rhetorical courtroom theatrics, of being hauled in for contempt of court. And, Judge Judy regularly delivers tongue-lashings. 

In addition, businesspeople who get to the top, mostly by starting their own firms, also leverage what could be called "Heavy Blunt." Amazon head Jeff Bezos is said to use the phrase, "What do you think, I took a stupid pill?" when subordinates give the wrong answer. Apple's Steve Jobs was a verbal trickmeister. 

Those realities are now everywhere.  The Great Recession changed the language of business.  Social media accelerated the shift. Polite is interpreted as insecurity. That invites the sharks in.

Yet, there are those who have made old-line "civility" as their signature. Among them is public affairs player Bob Dilenschneider. Here is his manifesto. Dilenschneider also co-sponsored a series on civility in Stamford, Connecticut. 

In an economy continually disrupted by globalization and digital technology there is no patience with anything but straight-talk. If it violates the 20th-century laws of civil discourse, all the better. How many of us chose to conduct business with vendor X versus vendor Y because he or she seemed "straight" with us? 

Blunt is the power tool of the second decade of the 21st century.

Sure, it can be misused. Some contend that the current U.S. president Donald Trump leverages that power in an abusive way.

Need affordable help strategically planning and putting together content? That ranges from blog posts and e-books to planning/scripting podcasts and creating traditional speeches. Complimentary consultation on how to generate influence and sell without paying high rates, janegenova374 @gmail.com. 

We Got Over Being Perfect, At Least for a While

Extreme negative reaction to mistakes

Harsh self-criticism

Nagging self doubt

An increasing inability to focus conscientiously on tasks (hell, you figure, how can I manage to do well, given that I am already such a screwup).

And, an emotional unraveling at a relatively young age. 

Those traits, found researchers Simon Sherry and Martin Smith, characterize perfectionism.

That syndrome has become an epidemic in western society among millennials. Here is a description of their meta analysis. 

It was also that maladaptive perfectionism which Joanna Litt contends drove her husband to suicide. He had been Gabe MacConaill, a partner in BigLaw. Here is Litt's open letter published in Law.com. 

Among the factors causing the epidemic, Sherry and Smith state, are:

Dog-eat-dog work world. It's all too easy to take success much too seriously. However, given that so many industries have become a zero-sum game, it seems the only shot at success is to be totally focused on doing everything just right. 

Harsh, over-controlling parents. They aren't new per se.

When I was the kid from the hood in an accelerated program in high school, I first ran into the 60s' version of helicopter parents. They harped on my female classmates about their weight and the male ones about earning a letter in sports to get into an Ivy. When they noticed me at an academic awards function they told me to bleach the dark hair on my arms. 

What is new is that parents feel compelled by social media to feature perfect offspring on Facebook. Their Offspring R Them. 

Media, both third party and social, had created unattainable standards for everything from appearance to achievements. Some of my colleagues in public relations contend that The Media is the most powerful force in current times. The force has more influence than governments, businesses, and even political leaders. 

Way back when, youth usually had been preoccupied with one person whose abilities and accomplishments made them feel less-than. That was captured in the best-selling novel at that time -  John Knowles' "A Separate Peace."

By the end of college, most could shake off that obsession with The Other by simply gliding into one or more of the standard rites of passage:

• The female gets married
• The male gets the first real job
• The female gets a traditional job such as teaching
• Both sexes go to professional or graduate school.

The transitions were such an ordeal that there was no energy left for peeking outside their own box to wonder how it would be playing in someone else's box.

Right now, the only box which matters is the media one. 

In his book "Excellent Sheep," William Deresiweicz describes that generation as one which fears making a mistake and has difficulty bouncing back from failure, no matter how trivial. An adjunct professor of communications at several New York City universities tells us that his students all want "A" grades. That's even though they have been told that the "C" students become the bosses of the "A" and that many of us older generations regret single-mindedly pursuing top grades. 

The solution? Perhaps there needs to be several pilot programs about establishing whatevers, ranging from schools to video games, which deliver the Beatles' Message: Let It Be. Then measure the mental health and accomplishments of those groups compared to the mainstream population of their peers.

The reality is that the present perfectionism bites all generation in the butt. It wasn't until I decided on semi-retirement that my enterprises had a roaring comeback. I define "semi-retirement" as restricting my business to only the assignments I wanted to accept, with clients who treated with respect, and at the fee which I perceived as fair. 

An anti-perfectionist app might deliver self-talk that we have a perfect right to choose who we are, what we do to earn a buck (drop careerism), and how we look (which will never be perfect).

Need affordable help strategically planning and putting together content? That ranges from blog posts and e-books to planning/scripting podcasts and creating traditional speeches. Complimentary consultation on how to generate influence and sell without paying high rates, janegenova374 Need @gmail.com. 

Okay, Maybe We Should Change - Stella Artois

Touchdown for Super Bowl commercials has been Stella Artois. 

And, next year, ditch the robots. 

Get amazing results through out of box communications strategies/content. Complimentary consultation janegenova374@gmail.com. I help, not sell.

Middle-Aged David Rossi Still Can't Get His Confidence Back - "Criminal Minds"

Haunted.

That was both the plot line and the meme of "Criminal Minds" last night.

The serial killer was consumed with the need to cleanse houses in which there had been violence of their "poison." She did that by killing the poison carriers - that is, the current inhabitants. It is always extra interesting when there is a female serial killer.

The setting was a good fit for that: rural Maine, filled with big old houses.

The theme was how human beings get stuck, haunted by an earlier trauma.

For that the spotlight again was focused on BAU icon David Rossi. He can't let go of the fact that grifter Everett Lynch got away. Because he's preoccupied with that, Emily Prentiss comes down on him hard. Meanwhile, other members of that elite FBI team debate if there is such as thing as the paranormal. 

Will Rossi allow this work situation interfere with his so-far successful relationship with Krystall?

Unlike his previous romantic relationships he had let her into his thoughts and heart. It was to her that he opened himself up about his self doubt after not catching Lynch. They are due to be married soon. Will that actually happen?

It's jarring to witness how Rossi can come apart emotionally. If he does nail Lynch that won't necessarily solve the problem of losing his confidence. 

Meanwhile, it's equally jarring to have Prentiss become so tough. Will she continue being a hard-ass?

Here is a summary of last night's episode.

Get amazing results through out of box communications strategies/content. Complimentary consultation janegenova374@gmail.com. I help, not sell.

Those Very Good Girls from College

A sign of a cultural shift: "Good Girls" will be returning to network television in March.

NBC found there is an audience for a series about those soccer mom types who are forced into a life of crime.

The trigger, to use the pun, is financial desperation.

Of course, the pickle they are in mirrors the situation of so many U.S. households which are struggling to make ends meet - and sometimes just can't pull it off. 

But, the bigger cultural statement is this: Being a good girl is not cool. There's no payoff. And the whole lifestyle is not at all interesting. No, mamas, don't raise your daughters to be good girls.

What should mamas raise their daughters to be? The jury is out on that.

But what I have observed is that good girls are thrown off their game - fast - in the 2nd decade of the 21th century. That is especially the situation as they age.

It's almost a re-play of what happens to the highly educated characters in Mary McCarthy's "The Group." They put their trust in elite schooling. Then they get out there in the real world and things don't work that way.

Perhaps too many females from my generation assumed they could play by the rules of being a good girl.

I was not one of them. Back then, of course, I suffered.

But as the world, especially the business and social ones, kept changing, I had and have the ability to also keep reconfiguring my game.

In contrast, many of the very good girls from my college days seem stuck - and boring. That's sad. They face 10, 20, or even 30 years more of living on planet earth.

Irony: About six months ago, I decided to semi-retire. A funny thing happened on the way to semi-retirement. More relaxed and thinking more out of the box, I attracted plum accounts. In addition, LinkedIn selected two of my articles of the Editors' Choice. 

Reflection: Do good girls, unlike the characters on "Good Girls" and myself, lack resilience? Should there be a 12-step program to deprogram good girls? Here, free to download, is my book on how older professionals can escape their hardened comfort zones. It could save their jobs and they won't have to turn to a life of crime with GangBanger.

Get amazing results through out of box communications strategies/content. Complimentary consultation janegenova374@gmail.com. I help, not sell.

The Poignant Moment When Aging Professionals Question If They Should Retire - "Criminal Minds"

Next season (2019-2020) of "Criminal Minds" will be its last. 

So, it's not unexpected that the seemingly invulnerable characters - at least when it comes to their work - would have to face fragile parts of themselves.

In tonight's poignant episode, David Rossi embraces his self-doubt about his ability to keep catching the bad guys. That pain is one so many aging professionals are dealing with. 

The last serial killer Rossi and the team pursued outmaneuvered them. In fact, grifter set a trap. They fell for it and were injured. And that con guy who preyed on and murdered older women got away. 

The rest of the team is bouncing back. But not Rossi.

He shares the story with his finance. She listens. At the end he puts out there the question: Now that he is older, are the bad guys too fast and smart for him?

The finance answers: Not too smart. It's Rossi's brain that gives him the edge.

His next step is to journey to the prison where the con's daughter is. Her name is Grace and she had been involved in the last attempt to extort and murder a woman.

The audience doesn't know what Rossi hopes to learn from her that will help him connect the dots. But, since he is smart and has been reassured that his brain works as well as it had he will get the information and insight he came for.

Now that "Criminal Minds" is in its final stretch there is more depth, including how the characters are portrayed.

The reality that Rossi can confide in his finance indicates his emotional growth. In his previous marriages he was totally shut-down. This relationship might just work. He let her in. 

How other aging professionals manage the issue of when to retire or semi-retire as well as navigate personal relationships has no off-the-shelf answers. That's why there is so much pain attached to career issues later in a life. 

Get amazing results through out of box communications strategies/content. Complimentary consultation janegenova374@gmail.com. I help, not sell.

Remembering Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker - Lessons for Current Times

The two-hour "20/20" resurrection of the Jim/Tammy Faye Bakker scam made many of us reflect on the grifters of today.

Like the Bakkers, they are peddling all sorts of salvation. Those range from the promise of a return to supposed American exceptionalism to extreme wellness. As with how the Bakkers positioned and packaged their message, their current counterparts are quite earnest and wildly optimistic. And those who buy in can expect prosperity. It is all about the gospel of abundance.

The sad aspect, though, is that Tammy Faye seemed to be a true victim. Not until she developed cancer did she seem to develop a sense of self. Until then she could be held hostage to any strong presence entering her life. 

That leaves viewers of the "20/20" programming with a dire warning: Become your own person. Otherwise, just like the followers of the PTL Club and Tammy Faye herself, you are an easy target for exploitation. That could well develop into a meme for the 2020 presidential campaign.

Get amazing results through out of box communications strategies/content. Complimentary consultation janegenova374@gmail.com. I help, not sel