Over-50

Remembering How Professors Cast Spells

Princeton and University of Oxford graduate Cameron Platt had more than a meeting a minds with Lee Clark Mitchell.

As so often happens in higher education, this young person - 25 - has become romantically involved with that former professor. He is 71.

As is required now in academia, the specified amount of time has gone by since they were student and teacher in order for them to move on to matters of the heart. 

The New York Post reports Platt and Mitchell are engaged to be married.

In the old days there was no open recognition of the power professors had which could influence the hearts of students. So, there was no necessary time lag between the brilliant lectures in the classroom and the march down the church aisle.

However, sometimes, as with Sally Conroy, student president at Seton Hill, Greensburg, Pennsylvania, it did take time for the hearts to align.

Eventually, though, she did join in wedded bliss with that institution of higher learning's religion instructor and Catholic chaplain Christopher Fullman. He had left the priesthood. Sally became Mrs. Fullman. Because of the large age difference, she became a widow 24 years ago.

Unlike the Fullmans, Richard Mennen, former theatre professor at Seton Hill, and Sally Spahn, didn't allow time to block bliss. There was no rule existing which put romance on hold.

Spahn finished her college studies early and became Sally Spahn Mennen at the end of the first semester of that academic year. The marriage endured. 

Higher education remains a special institution in society. It's not our parent's house. It's not work. Therefore it can become a magical setting. All things, especially love, become possible and probable. 

Not only the professor-student relationships blossom. So do love affairs among students. It used to be that moms told their offspring to find their soulmate in school and lock that rite of passage in right then. Currently, of course, marriage is no longer a rite of passage.

But romantic bonding will always provide a unique experience in life.

If they hang in there and wait for the required time to pass, professors and students can continue to find love together.

Let the universe cast its spell. 

The world needs more love. 

Exactly the right tone and content for all your communications. Complimentary consultation janegenova374@gmail.com.

Planning to Move for Semi-Retirement/Retirement? - Better Get Your Story Straight Months Before

Does this sound like a credible reason for moving to southern Arizona?

That's the question I am using in my A/B testing of the story - that is, the personal narrative - I will put out there when I relocate from the midwest in August. 

This is a nervous era.

If we don't deliver to folks the narrative that will make them feel safe and comfortable with us, we will be not be allowed into their social circles. And, mankind is a social species.

This isn't new, of course.

Before divorce was acceptable, my aunt who had ended her marriage created a detailed story before she relocated 2,200 miles away.

Intuitively she recognized she had to do that.

She was on the money and easily landed a good job and new husband.

What is new is that having a carefully scripted narrative that doesn't sound carefully scripted is 100% necessary. No, we can't leave home, even to buy a pint of Halo ice cream, w/o it.

A wary society, on edge, demands the narrative ping points to track who we are, what we are up to, and if we are worth getting to know or to continue hanging out with. Like FBI agents interrogating a suspected serial killer, the "they" out there currently are programmed to vet us - continuously.

I still have 4.5 months to develop and A/B test the narrative I will roll out in AZ.

When it's completed it will likely have little to do with any reality. There is a declining market for reality. I no longer expect it in interacting with people. I accept that all is positioning and packaging.

It didn't take long for spin in media relations to become standard in our personal lives. Those who unaware of the need for identifying narratives have become isolated. They scare us.

 Need affordable help strategically planning and putting together content? That ranges from blog posts and e-books to planning/scripting podcasts and creating traditional speeches. Complimentary consultation on how to generate influence and sell without paying high rates, janegenova374@gmail.com. 

Not What We Were Told

Perhaps it was the subliminal advertising by institutions of higher education.

Maybe it was simply magical thinking by those who have invested so much time, money, test-taking, and hope in degree-getting.

Or, it could be the passing down of the Puritans' blind faith in education when they established Harvard in 1636.

Whatever. There has evolved over centuries in America a conviction of a correlation between education and unique insulation from catastrophic mistakes, deep personal pain, and even the usual bumps in the road that the uneducated endure.

Mary McCarthy's "The Group" hammered that myopia in the 1960s. The female graduates of an Ivy found no buffer between themselves and raw reality.

More recently, in The New York Times Magazine, Harvard Business School alumnus Charles Duhigg outs how miserable many of his classmates are, both in their careers and personal lives. 

Over and over again, editor in chief at Abovethelaw.com - Elie Mystal - describes his regret about hanging around Harvard, after receiving his BA, to pick up a law degree from its law school. 

So, it seems the right thing to do in these volatile times for commencement speakers to shift from maxing points of light in the scripting to bring on the darkness. 

That's not new. Many recall how David McCullough Jr. told graduates they were not special. 

Also, I helped with a commencement talk to an Ivy in which it was documented how an elite education could be a career liability. The graduates could feel entitled, pissing everyone at work off. The result could be a career in park. 

There are myriad bits and pieces of darkness to include.

At the top of the list is that those who got the highest grades might have already ruined their careers. As Eric Barker explains in "Barking Up The Wrong Tree," high scorers chase the grades, not the mindset and skills that are platforms for making it big professionally. Long it has been known that "C" students become the bosses of the "A" students.

Next is that debt from student loans can limit their professional and personal risk-taking. Unless they pay off that nut fast they could wind up living lives of quiet desperation.

What they have learned has a shorter and shorter shelf life. Also, it's probable no one will care. 

The social networks they nurtured during their "educational experience" could mutate into liabilities. Here is my sad story about that.

Let the negatives rip. Then, there will be a wrap with extreme hope: Human beings have managed to survive themselves since the fall of Adam and Eve due to intellectual arrogance. 

Leaders needing dark inspiration for their commencement addresses are welcome to a complimentary consultation. Please contact janegenova374@gmail.com.

They Told Us They Had the Facts

Facts.

In her book "Merchants of Truth," former big wig at The New York Times Jill Abramson decries the death of facts. In their place in what is supposed to be journalism is commentary. 

Yet, facts are a mutable entity. 

Take the long-promoted fact that a bout of clinical depression makes someone vulnerable to future depressions. Therefore, it is necessary to maintain a regiment of taking antidepressants. That fact was proved wrong.

Then there was the fact that an aspirin prevents heart attacks. That fact has been tossed. 

In many ways Abramson is behind the times, no pun intended. It was so mid 20th century to believe that facts exist and that decisions must be made aligned with them.

Today, that triggers smirks among us who were victims of the facts-based ideology. 

For instance, there were all those facts about how to get ahead in a corporate career. Those facts made their promoters Brandnames and likely financially comfortable.

We who fell in line found ourselves unable to think for ourselves about how to navigate the tricky spots along a career path. In a sense we were struck stupid.

In a volatile world driven by the intersection of radical forces, it's a safe bet to flee those who claim to have the facts. 

Need affordable help strategically planning and putting together content? That ranges from blog posts and e-books to planning/scripting podcasts and creating traditional speeches. Complimentary consultation on how to generate influence and sell without paying high rates, janegenova374@gmail.com. 

Good Riddance - Soon Enough, That Might Not Be Verboten

America is still a nation which cannot embrace the reality that all human beings die. In fact, our beloved dogs do, too. 

So, when there is a death, the normal rules of the heart get suspended. At the top of the list is that we must mourn that passing.

No, we can't celebrate with a Good Riddance.

But that could change. Probably should change.

Some liberals felt forced into putting on a long face when war hero and government servant John McCain passed from the earth. But they might not cave like that when those they perceive as alt-right monsters die.

Those deaths could be the beginning of scathing obituaries, The Wicked Witch Is Dead celebratory parties, and degrading theatrics (with a permit, of course) outside official mourning sites.  

Let us go to denigrate Caesar, not praise him or her. 

Need affordable help strategically planning and putting together content? That ranges from blog posts and e-books to planning/scripting podcasts and creating traditional speeches. Complimentary consultation on how to generate influence and sell without paying high rates, janegenova374@gmail.com. 

Want to Move Up Retirement Date?

"Stocks and commodities are on the verge of rallying to highs that have eluded them during recent upswings, a breakthrough … likely [to] fuel further gains." Amrith Ramkumar, "Market Rebound Reaches Crossroads After Latest Rally," The Wall Street Journal, March 17, 2019. Here is the article. 

It's been up up up for the numbers in our portfolios. The cynics about the Trump Economy never anticipated that.

And, what can happen - en masse - is FIRE (financial independence, retire early).

The "early" part of FIRE is relative. For some it could be 37 years old. For others, age 58. And for those who managed to hold onto work, no matter what, it could be mid or even late 70s. After all, novelist Philip Roth didn't hang it up until he was 80. 

That movement out of the labor force would open up plenty of slots for ambitious millennials and iGens. Essentially those over-50 have been clogging the pipes of upward mobility. As millennials and iGens move on up and earn more they will be purchasing those big-ticket items such as houses and lux cars. What a nice tailwind for the economy.

Instead of nosediving into a recession here in the U.S. there could be the making of the next phase of the recovery. 

Need affordable help strategically planning and putting together content? That ranges from blog posts and e-books to planning/scripting podcasts and creating traditional speeches. Complimentary consultation on how to generate influence and sell without paying high rates, janegenova374@gmail.com. 

Career Path as a Psychic - Age Can Be a Plus

At psychic boutique in Salem, Massachusetts - Angelica of the Angels rebranded as Salem Love Angels - Barbara Szarfranski bills at $40 for 15 minutes or $70 for 30. Her assistants bill at $30 for 15 minutes.

In the field of clairvoyance, age, rather than a liability, can be a plus. Szarfranski becomes more prominent in her niche of clairvoyance with age. My own former psychic - the late Mary Ann Kremer, based in the Jersey Shore - was in high demand until her death at 82.

Another plus embedded in parapsychology as a career path is that no special education is required. That means there is accessible a well-paying mode of making a living without college.

Also, there is broad flexibility in the tools psychics use. Those available through website Psychic Interactive rely on all kinds. Andre picks up on voice. Saint James switches between tarot and intuition. 

The Daily Mail reports that revenues in the field of parapsychology have grown 52% since 2005. Last year they reached $2.2 billion.

Backing off from formal traditional religions, Americans are more open to embracing other forms of inspiration, guidance, and being transported into another dimension.

Some psychics are born into the trade. Their grandmothers "gave readings" in the villages of Poland. One day they realized they also had the gift. That freed them from the confines of that town. As with musicians, chefs, or those who teach English as a second language, they could make a living traveling the world.

Some recognize a bit of ability, then hone their skills. Actually, top psychics such as Laurie Cabot, also from New England roots, believe that gift is available to everyone, especially women. Cabot had published the book "The Witch in Every Woman." 

How to develop the gift?

There are diverse kinds of workshops to enhance powers of concentration so that there can be a reaching beyond the normal. Some are offered at the Montclair, New Jersey Psychic School. I attended those at the Church of Tamara in Tucson, Arizona. In fact, at one of them in AZ, faith healers banished my joint pain.

However, simple training in meditation can do the trick. Buddhist monk Jack Kornfield offers that in the U.S.

More convenient is clicking online to take in the n0-cost YouTube teaching of masters such as Pema Chodron. By listening we can be lifted from the boundaries of conventional mindsets - and intuit what's blocking those of others. 

So, when ready, how to start out giving readings for revenue?

The easiest way is to hang out a shingle. There are literally plenty of those up and down the Jersey Shore. The field has no barriers to entry. And, it is unregulated. Most psychics post a disclaimer that the service is for entertainment only. It's good business to create a website and promote yourself via social media and in-person word of mouth.

Another route is to audition for an established psychic service. Just key in online "Psychic Services - employment." Up will pop "MeetYourPsychic" and "PsychicOz."

The trick, as in most lines of work, is to catapult into the big time. You want to be hired by one of the top shops which pay well and at which you will be sought after for your guidance. When your abilities are awesome, then you can apply. Or, if you play your cards right, so to speak, you can become a top shop.

Twice I have offered freelance assignments as a paid psychic. However, my own current clairvoyant recommended that I first immerse myself more comprehensively in a paranormal environment. In August I will be relocating to the southern tip of AZ, near the border of Mexico. There I hope to complete the next phase of my training.

That began in the mid 1990s with workshops throughout New England. I have a hunch what is blocking me is over-education.

This blog will continue with the series of career paths not requiring college.

Need affordable help strategically planning and putting together content? That ranges from blog posts and e-books to planning/scripting podcasts and creating traditional speeches. Complimentary consultation on how to generate influence and sell without paying high rates, janegenova374@gmail.com. 

Starting out on FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early), No Matter Our Age, Or External Circumstances

In 2003, as I chronicle in this e-book, I was lugging around 6-figure debt.

My industry had collapsed. So, obviously, I had to do a career change.

I was over-50 and feared age bias.

Meanwhile, genius cognitive therapist Amy Karnilowitz, LMFT, based in West Hartford, Connecticut, mandated I get a survival job, any job. That's where humor kicked in. Five-foot me somehow wound up doing security in inner city retail. 

For about 6 months now, I have been doing a FIRE (financial independence, [semi] retirement). That is, my customized version of it. I continue to work about 45 hours a week. But it's totally on my terms. I only agree to accept work I decide is stimulating, with clients who are simpatico, and where the fee structure is fair. 

How did I go from being a pawn in the system of capitalism to one of its masters? Here is how I interpret the key steps in the journey:

Took a vow of poverty - now called "radical saving" - and stuck with it. Even for professional attire, I shop (carefully) at Goodwill and higher end consignment stores. Although I can afford to buy a house again I don't take on the financial uncertainty associated with the American Dream.

Picked up fast that I had aged out of doing business in New York Metro area. Actually, it took 3 trips into Manhattan from CT to pitch for accounts for my two startups to get it: The "they" perceived me as old. Therefore, paying that high rent wasn't paying off. I retrofitted my businesses to being totally telecommuting and relocated to the lower cost of living Arizona. 

Picked up even faster on what else was changing. Where I residing in AZ was becoming gentrified by those relocating from California. Of course, the cost of living was no longer low. I researched other locations and, again, moved.

Another shift I sensed and acted on was that I had to purge my network of people who were not good fits - probably never had been. Here is how that process played out. And, here is my more recent insight on the need for an ongoing Network Cleanse. 

Invested. That was scary. There are no sure things. Those safe investments might not track with inflation. The ones in equities could be total losses. But, now I have enough of a locked-in reserve not to have to worry. 

Navigated emotional lows in cost-efficient ways. It doesn't take a trip back to Manhattan to shake off whatever. I can't explain the dynamics but a day trip to a large lake in the worst of winter can unleash the same mood-lifting magic.

Learned extreme self-forgiveness. Damn it, I got played two weeks ago by a brandname in my industry. I invested lots of work at the front end. The expectation was getting a piece of action in a big project. Humans plan, the gods laugh. Had I not been able to forgive my gullibility, I wouldn't have been able to reach out for help. The best advice I received was: Pray he gets what he deserves. I pray that every day. 

What specific advice would I give to other over-50 who feel they will never be able to row to the Promised Land of being whole again, emotionally and financially? 

Answer: Take that leap into self-love. It's never too late. And, all too often, it takes the worst of times to see and accept the best in ourselves.

Need affordable help strategically planning and putting together content? That ranges from blog posts and e-books to planning/scripting podcasts and creating traditional speeches. Complimentary consultation on how to generate influence and sell without paying high rates, janegenova374@gmail.com. 

Nice - That Puts You on the Defense

Creative genius, yes.

Unique sense of style.

The right timing, of course.

But, the edge Karl Lagerfeld created for himself was what the Daily Mail refers to as his "acid tongue." An example: He referred to singer Adele as "fat."

That's a tactical device Lagerfeld, who died at age 85, had in common with lawyers, of course.

The most successful lawyers understand how to choose just the right phrase to disarm with bluntness - and get away with it, in the courts of law and public opinion and at the negotiating table. The game doesn't happen on the playing field of nice.

In the classic television series "Law & Order" prosecutor Jack McCoy used searing plain-speak. In "Boston Legal," Danny Crane was able to stop short, in rhetorical courtroom theatrics, of being hauled in for contempt of court. And, Judge Judy regularly delivers tongue-lashings. 

In addition, businesspeople who get to the top, mostly by starting their own firms, also leverage what could be called "Heavy Blunt." Amazon head Jeff Bezos is said to use the phrase, "What do you think, I took a stupid pill?" when subordinates give the wrong answer. Apple's Steve Jobs was a verbal trickmeister. 

Those realities are now everywhere.  The Great Recession changed the language of business.  Social media accelerated the shift. Polite is interpreted as insecurity. That invites the sharks in.

Yet, there are those who have made old-line "civility" as their signature. Among them is public affairs player Bob Dilenschneider. Here is his manifesto. Dilenschneider also co-sponsored a series on civility in Stamford, Connecticut. 

In an economy continually disrupted by globalization and digital technology there is no patience with anything but straight-talk. If it violates the 20th-century laws of civil discourse, all the better. How many of us chose to conduct business with vendor X versus vendor Y because he or she seemed "straight" with us? 

Blunt is the power tool of the second decade of the 21st century.

Sure, it can be misused. Some contend that the current U.S. president Donald Trump leverages that power in an abusive way.

Need affordable help strategically planning and putting together content? That ranges from blog posts and e-books to planning/scripting podcasts and creating traditional speeches. Complimentary consultation on how to generate influence and sell without paying high rates, janegenova374 @gmail.com. 

We Got Over Being Perfect, At Least for a While

Extreme negative reaction to mistakes

Harsh self-criticism

Nagging self doubt

An increasing inability to focus conscientiously on tasks (hell, you figure, how can I manage to do well, given that I am already such a screwup).

And, an emotional unraveling at a relatively young age. 

Those traits, found researchers Simon Sherry and Martin Smith, characterize perfectionism.

That syndrome has become an epidemic in western society among millennials. Here is a description of their meta analysis. 

It was also that maladaptive perfectionism which Joanna Litt contends drove her husband to suicide. He had been Gabe MacConaill, a partner in BigLaw. Here is Litt's open letter published in Law.com. 

Among the factors causing the epidemic, Sherry and Smith state, are:

Dog-eat-dog work world. It's all too easy to take success much too seriously. However, given that so many industries have become a zero-sum game, it seems the only shot at success is to be totally focused on doing everything just right. 

Harsh, over-controlling parents. They aren't new per se.

When I was the kid from the hood in an accelerated program in high school, I first ran into the 60s' version of helicopter parents. They harped on my female classmates about their weight and the male ones about earning a letter in sports to get into an Ivy. When they noticed me at an academic awards function they told me to bleach the dark hair on my arms. 

What is new is that parents feel compelled by social media to feature perfect offspring on Facebook. Their Offspring R Them. 

Media, both third party and social, had created unattainable standards for everything from appearance to achievements. Some of my colleagues in public relations contend that The Media is the most powerful force in current times. The force has more influence than governments, businesses, and even political leaders. 

Way back when, youth usually had been preoccupied with one person whose abilities and accomplishments made them feel less-than. That was captured in the best-selling novel at that time -  John Knowles' "A Separate Peace."

By the end of college, most could shake off that obsession with The Other by simply gliding into one or more of the standard rites of passage:

• The female gets married
• The male gets the first real job
• The female gets a traditional job such as teaching
• Both sexes go to professional or graduate school.

The transitions were such an ordeal that there was no energy left for peeking outside their own box to wonder how it would be playing in someone else's box.

Right now, the only box which matters is the media one. 

In his book "Excellent Sheep," William Deresiweicz describes that generation as one which fears making a mistake and has difficulty bouncing back from failure, no matter how trivial. An adjunct professor of communications at several New York City universities tells us that his students all want "A" grades. That's even though they have been told that the "C" students become the bosses of the "A" and that many of us older generations regret single-mindedly pursuing top grades. 

The solution? Perhaps there needs to be several pilot programs about establishing whatevers, ranging from schools to video games, which deliver the Beatles' Message: Let It Be. Then measure the mental health and accomplishments of those groups compared to the mainstream population of their peers.

The reality is that the present perfectionism bites all generation in the butt. It wasn't until I decided on semi-retirement that my enterprises had a roaring comeback. I define "semi-retirement" as restricting my business to only the assignments I wanted to accept, with clients who treated with respect, and at the fee which I perceived as fair. 

An anti-perfectionist app might deliver self-talk that we have a perfect right to choose who we are, what we do to earn a buck (drop careerism), and how we look (which will never be perfect).

Need affordable help strategically planning and putting together content? That ranges from blog posts and e-books to planning/scripting podcasts and creating traditional speeches. Complimentary consultation on how to generate influence and sell without paying high rates, janegenova374 Need @gmail.com.