Over-50

COVID-19 Pillages Our Memory Bank

The business of Ann Arbor, Michigan isn't really the university based there.

Rather it's embedded in all the industries supplying services and products to the 45,000 in that academic community. Those range from real estate which leases rooms and apartments to cheap wine and salty chips for partying. 

Because of COVID-19, which has resurged, that business is on life support. Business Insider points out how some entrepreneurs have reinvented their enterprises for the new realities. But the revenue remains lousy.

And things don't look promising for the 2020 - 2021 academic year. As that kicks off, the University of Michigan will provide a hybrid of in-person and online instruction. After Thanksgiving it will be all online. Then all courses will be halted until after MLK day. 

Along with this financial impact, there is the disruption to nostalgia.

For years University of Michigan alumni have circled back to Ann Arbor for time travel to that important part of our lives. I would revisit the restaurants and bookstores. A favorite was doing a walking tour of all the badly furnished "firetraps" I had rented during my seven years of doctoral studies. When living the life of the mind, we didn't need much.

Pre-COVID-19, I did return to Ann Arbor last August. Every year there are more university buildings and more upscale shops. But the ethos of extreme self-confidence was there. Everyone, it seemed, believed she or he was destined for success. 

I won't be returning this August. Instead, I have to reconfigure my memory bank to treasure another kind of seminal experience. But that won't be easy.

Because of global COVID-19, I can't absorb the ambiance of Calle de San Francisco in Barcelona, Spain. There, in the 1970s, I had leveraged my academic Spanish training to work in the hospitality industry. Those were days of heaven. Look, Mom, I am thinking in Spanish. Back then, there was the Ah-Ha moment that I was good at something else beside getting good grades in school. 

Reflection: The unacknowledged victim of COVID-19 is nostalgia. We can't go back, at least not now and not in the near future. 

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How Did We Get Here? - Mostly, Painfully

These times mirror those of the Counterculture. During revolutions many hold as sacred the belief that they are held to a higher code of law, not the conventional one. 

So, it is no surprise, as Law.com reports, that Colinford Mattis has plenty of supporters. They spoke up during the conference call which was how his arraignment had been conducted. He took a plea of not guilty to 7 counts.

Laypeople who aren't sophisticated in legal matters know that he is accused of being in the loop of a Molotov Cocktail being thrown during a George Floyd protest.

In addition, there had been an open letter from the New York Law University on June 17th in support of him. Mattis is a 2016 alumnus of that law school. 

However, the compassion for his alleged form of response to a system he might have perceived as racist (he is a man of color) is not universal. On social networks I have received push-back. I shared my understanding of how such anger could build up and then burst through safety valves. 

The wrench in the works of supporting Mattis is this: Civil disobedience is supposed to be non-violent.

Back in the Counterculture, we had joined hands, marched, and sang "We Shall Overcome" during the human rights movements of the early 1970. We didn't condone those who had thrown rocks through the windows of the Ann Arbor, Michigan banks surrounding the University of Michigan campus. We tutored our parents in what we considered was right thinking. We dragged our younger siblings along to D.C. on protest trains.

Nobody has to condone Mattis' alleged act of violence. But attention must be paid to what a man of color might have endured jumping through the hoops he had. Those range from matriculating in the Ivy League to being an associate at an elite law firm.

A female from an immigrant ghetto in Jersey City, New Jersey during the vestiges of the Frank Hague Machine, I felt like a novelty in a circus. It was palpable, at least to me. I experienced being watched as I struggled to navigate doctoral studies at the U of M, first year at Harvard Law, and being an executive ghostwriter/speechwriter for the Fortune 100. Therapists told me that I was very angry.

I call that phenomenon The Curse of Opportunity.

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When It Was Smart to Anglicize Your Name

Anglicizing a last name used to be an economic survival move. 

Back in the early 1950s, on the Hudson County, New Jersey docks, my maternal uncle Frank Miksza did just that.

It wasn't until I read my grandfather's obituary in the Jersey Journal that I found out that Uncle Frankie was going by the name Frank Mitchell. And, at the time, Mitchell was a big boss on the docks, overseeing many who were unloading ships. 

That was then.

Now, as the Daily Mail reports, the statement a professor at Laney College, Oakland, California, made to a student from Viet Nam about anglicizing her name resulted in his suspension. The professor is Matthew Hubbard. The student is Phuc Bui Diem Nguyen. 

Incidentally, the Daily Mail headline got it wrong. It indicates the Hubbard demanded the change. Rather, in an email he phrased it as "Could you …" 

His was a recommendation. It was based on a reality of language. When pronounced, the name sounded like that of an American English expletive. Could that have damaged her personal brand? Maybe.

The student took offense. Unfortunately, the professor persisted. He should have stopped there. She responded to Hubbard that she was going to file a Title IX complaint. 

Right now, Hubbard is on suspension.

In the play "Romeo and Juliet" by William Shakespeare, there is that iconic line: "What's in a name?"

Well, in reality, plenty. Obviously, it's a hot button in 2020.

To me, in 2001, after my industry collapsed after 9/11, it was a shot at a comeback.

Back then, I took a page from my uncle's playbook. I changed my first name from the very Catholic, very ethnic, way too cute "Mary Jane" to "Jane." On that platform, I found it easier to build a new business. I have no way of knowing, of course, how much the name change did or did not have to do with my eventual new success.

Yes, the shift was small or it seemed small to me. Yet, lots of folks pushed back. They insisted I had no "right" to inconvenience the world by forcing them to adapt to my new identity. Ironically, one relative on the maternal side persisted in calling me "Mary Jane." 

Reflection: Name changing carries plenty of economic, political, and social baggage. Beware.

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WFH, Stormin' Norman, and Minimalism

Given that we're all working from home, this fell into the category of crisis. The lamp on my desk stopped working during the night. I was on deadline for a rush assignment. My laptop and I moved into another room for light. But, I love being at that desk. It's old and wood, has tons of drawers and even a pull-out writing ledge.

Before the current COVID-19 economic catastrophe, this morning I would have shopped for the lamp's replacement in one of those chain office stores. That would have been convenient - and expensive.

Instead I went out of my way to Stormin' Norman's Flea Market.

It's housed in a large building down the block from Office Max on 5860Lewis Avenue in Toledo, Ohio. Inside vendors mark off their sales areas. Sort of like stores within a store. Outside, other vendors hawk their wares in the lot. 

And, at Stormin' Norman, I would be among the consumers who keep spending the lowest the rate of consumer spending has been since 1959. The Wall Street Journal reports that for April, it was down a record 13.6%.

There was plenty of folksy charm at Stormin' Norman. I told the greeter I was in the market for an office lamp. As I was talking, what grabbed my eye were the sturdy motorcycle helmets with visors. Next time I would inspect them. I didn't trust the quality of my current one.

Soon enough, a vendor found me. "I have the lamp you want." It was one of those tiny high intensity ones. "Does it work?" I asked. He turned it on. "Today is your lucky day because this will go for five dollars." It was my lucky day.

Back at my desk I have more room than before to spread out pages of hand-jotted-down research.

The aura of luckiness is palpable throughout my home office.

There are mystics who believe that used objects carry with them the spirit of their former owners. Perhaps the original owner of the high intensity lamp had been blessed with extreme success. I am getting to share in its long tail.

The odds are against my ever returning to traditional retail. If that's a trend, consumer spending will remain low and the savings rate high. Minimalism, as in Puritan times, could return as the ethos of America. Perhaps I don't need to spend to replace my motorcycle helmet. Yeah, save the money.

In marketing timing is everything. Complimentary consultation on your marketing communications in COVID-19 time. janegenova374@gmail.com.

Madame Clairevoyant, Outwitting Destiny, and Late Bloomers

Weekly in New York Magazine, Madame Clairevoyant makes predictions for how the next seven days could play out for each Zodiac sign. Here are this week's forecasts.

For the Taurus among you, your birthday had been in late April or will be this month. 

How does this week look for you?

Like everything else in life, that is up to you.

A psychic can see what could happen but it doesn't have to happen.

Destiny isn't cast in stone.

Sometimes the psychic's reading can alert a person that there is danger. The situation is corrected. And what could have happened, doesn't.

For this week, the challenge for Taurus is to free up the self to take that leap into accomplishment.

No, it doesn't have to be work-related.

It could be trusting the self enough to begin to rearrange the furniture in the apartment or house to provide more contentment.

Or, it could be, as I did yesterday on my birthday, being confident enough to ride my new motorcycle far from town. I did that. It was the most fulfilling birthday in my over-50 years. 

If it is related to your professional life it could be taking the first steps to launching a business. The vibes at your workplace scream rounds of layoffs. Since you are older and at a high salary you could be at the top of the list. 

That brings us to the subject of late bloomers.

University of Chicago Researcher David Galenson documented that there really is such a thing.

There are the Mozarts who accomplish early in life.

Then there are the Frank Lloyd Wrights who try out different approaches.

Finally there is a fit between their talent and the world's recognition that they are producing something of value. Here you can order Galenson's book "Old Masters and Young Geniuses."

It wasn't until Clint Eastwood was a old man that he unleashed his abilities for serious drama. "The Unforgiven," not the B-grade action flicks, will now be his legacy.

Connect the dots in a fresh way.

Intuitive coaching on earning income in semiretirement, job search, professional transitions, and starting your own business. 12 years coaching experience. 5 years experience creating communications for global outplacement firm. Complimentary 5-minute reading. Sliding scale billing. Please contact janegenova374@gmail.com for appointment.

The Dangerous Pull of Nostalgia - Madame Clairevoyant Can Save Use from Oureselves

New York Magazine's Madame Clairevoyant has your back. Here is what she recommends for you for this week. 

For me, she warns against the pull of nostalgia. Among the most brilliant episodes on "Mad Men" is Don Draper's Kodak pitch about the power of that emotion during transitions. 

Brilliantly Madame Clairevoyant sums that up as the myth-making of our minds about when we reconstruct what supposedly happened in the past. Since we are living a whole lot longer there is a whole lot more past to create myths about.

As Madame Clairevoyant knows - she knows everything - my myth about the bonds of college days bit me in the butt. That was spring of 2014. I was in transition. At the mercy of my emotions, I reupped for relationships with former college acquaintances such as Kathleen Huebner. Here is that amazing saga of what I experienced as an ambush.

Given that trauma, one would assume that I would have never again hear the call of the past encouraging me to return. But, there are times when I am still all-ears.

Currently I am in the transition of my business doing quite a bit better. 

That pushed me on the memory lane of the boom economy and when I was at the peak of my earning years. A mischief-making voice whispers that the good-old-days will return. So, sure, spend. Buy that getaway in Geneva on the Lake, Ohio (even though the town might be washed away by Lake Erie and I may live to 110 and need every penny I have). 

Thanks to Madame Clairevoyant and others with paranormal gifts, we humans are saved from ourselves. 

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Growing Up in Frank Hague Political Machine - What I Know Which I Wish I Didn't

Many current progressives came of age after the era of the Big Urban Political Machines.

Therefore, they may be bug-eyed by contemporary national, state, and local politics. Much of that has taken on the attributes of the old machines. 

Let's cut to the chase: Reform is difficult. It could be years before there is a lessening of the hold of those machines on human beings. 

Essentially, those old machines had been well-oiled welfare systems.

They provided everything from emergency employment to the desperate to a free bed in a nursing facility for grandma.

Your side street needed for the snow plow to swing by?

The first step was to walk over to the Catholic parish rectory and talk to the priest.

He talked to someone.

That someone passed the message along.

The snow plow appeared just before sunset, the workers jubilant that they were earning overtime.

The system worked well for many folks in the loop.

During the 1950s, I grew up in the vestiges of the Frank Hague power structure in Jersey City, New Jersey. His welfare approach included building the amazing maternity hospital - Margaret Hague, named after his mother. That facilitated safe births for generations of residents of Hudson County, NJ. Mine was among them. 

In a sense, the machine was a form of voodoo, casting spells. 

What I know from back then is what I wish I didn't. That way of seeing the world and making decisions about behavior is a closed system. There was the saying: You can't fight city hall. 

From the get-go, that instilled a compulsive suck-up culture. My immigrant family sought out opportunities to be of visible service to the powers that be. Of course, they pulled in those of us born here.

Vividly I remember transporting whatever on the bus to some power player. Yes, I went alone, a grade-schooler. Catholic families were too over-burdened with children to be protective. In our neighborhood, little ones tumbled out of tenement windows w/o bars. They disappeared under moving cars. 

Unlike many of my relatives, I wanted a ticket out. I got that ticket punched through academic excellence. That consisted of a full scholarship to an out-of-state college.

There were years of being a free thinker and a free spirit. That scared my family.

Now they are mostly all buried in Holy Name on Montgomery Avenue. So, they aren't around to hammer me with "I told you so." In the current political climate, I have surrendered to the harsh adage: You don't fight city hall. 

Reflection: The evolutionary fundamental of adaptation ensured the survival of the species.

Smart global ghostwriting, with SEO and social networking know-how. Emergencies welcome. Complimentary consultation (pressure-free) janegenova374@gmail.com.

 

Transition - Before the Train Leaves the Station, Put Together Your Elevator Speech

In her 70s, Maye Musk remains a super model. 

In addition, she has become a best-selling author.

About a week ago, her book "A Woman Makes A Plan" was published. Immediately, it caught fire. Currently, it has the amazingly high Amazon ranking of 1,509. 

A central meme of "A Woman Makes A Plan" is the fresh opportunity that comes from starting over. Musk grabbed it during distressful parts of the her life and leveraged it as a platform for personal and professional success.

That's Musk's story.

Your own experience with starting over might not have been so rosy.

One major problem might have been this: You brought the past with you. Not only internally, that is, in your head, heart, and soul. You also didn't recognize the need to create a new "elevator speech." From the get-go that puts limits of possibilities.

Essentially the elevator speech is a short "commercial" which captures who you are and how that "who" can benefit others - employers, co-workers, subordinates, clients/customers, friends, neighbors, community groups, and other kinds of constituencies. 

The benefit could be as simple as uplifting their spirits and helping them feel better about themselves.

Or it could be letting them know you could be useful to them in their careers.

Ironically, the elevator speech is not about you. It's about them. That way of being other-oriented happens through the genius of well-done indirect communications. 

The elevator speech is all positive.

It requires an investment of your time.

And, you bet, you must put it together, fine-tune it, and practice it before you parachute into your Next. Remember you only have about 7 seconds to transmit the right message.

Advanced preparation prevents blowing it because once you're in-place you're overwhelmed. Such stress leads to blurting, disclosing negatives, and ignoring the nuances of human bonding. According to the researchers on mirror neurons, we humans influence each other, cell by cell. It's up to you to leverage that to your advantage. Otherwise you can become downright self-defeating in the new setting. 

Let's look at effective and counterproductive elevator speeches:

Effective: Isn't Cleveland special! (That level of enthusiasm puts you in the conversational driver's seat.) It's such a blessing to have a position with Jones Day. How the kids love their school.

Counterproductive: We're having an adjustment leaving Manhattan (That's an immediate put-down of Cleveland) But Jones Day made me an offer I couldn't refuse (You sound arrogant.)

Effective:  I'm here. Can't believe it. I was 6 years old when my family vacationed in Tucson. The rest of my life I made it my business to return. I want the kind of life you have. How blessed you are. 

Counterproductive: Los Angeles was such a rat race. Too much traffic. (That positions and packages you as a complainer.) I hope this works out better.  Does the heat get to you? (Listeners get annoyed that you didn't factor that in before making the decision to relocate.)

Effective. I want to hear all about you. (There is the Dale Carnegie fundamental of showing a sincere interest in people.) Can I treat you to a latte? (Free can't be resisted). Starbucks, I found, is on the corner. (You sound like you are making a real effect to make this home.)

Counterproductive: When I get settled let's get together. (No body cares about your state of being overwhelmed.) By then, I will probably heal from being unemployed from the crash in the legal market. (You brought the stink along with you.)

Sure, new starts can be brutal rites of passage. But that transition can be transformed into the adventure of taking on another identity. Graduates of elite colleges are willing to earn peanuts just for a shot at being hired for acting roles. Trying on another persona can be equally satisfying. Plus, the return on the investment could be extreme success, in life and work. 

Experts on building power relationships - be they dramatist William Shakespeare or sociologist Erving Goffman - hammer the importance of setting a face to meet all the faces out there. That entails putting together the right elevator speech. Then continually modifying it as time passes. 

After a year in Cleveland and at Jones Day, here is how that could play out:

Effective: Cleveland has been so good to us. But you know the needs more than we do. How can we make a difference? My two boys want to pitch in, too.

Ineffective: The long hours of work. I haven't even gotten to the museum yet. I shouldn't be annoyed but I am that my kids want me to coach their teams.

Takeaway: The most efficient route to success is through other people. It's your mission to talk your way in. 

Smart global ghostwriting, with niche social networking know-how. Emergencies welcome. Complimentary consultation (pressure-free) janegenova374@gmail.com.

Aging & Transitions - Meanwhile, Thanks Tom Brady

It's predictable.

When an icon in any sector is "between careers" those who never could achieve that branding exude glee. The language they happily apply essentially is some version of "finished."

That seems the tone of much of the media coverage of how Patriots' QB Tom Brady - Number 12 - is positioned. The 20 - 13 loss to Tennessee Titans has been a kind of tipping point. 

The exceptions to such mean-spirited reporting include BusinessInsider's discussion of Brady's overall situation. 

BusinessInsider acknowledges the sports figure is 42 years old. The amazing thing is that he has endured at the top of his game so long. His options seem to be:

•  As he becomes a free agent in March, be picked up again by the Patriots. (not likely)
•  Join another team. (not really a strong possibility)
•  Retire, at least from hands-on sports role. That opens the door to almost infinite possibilities. They range from being an on-the-air personality to being appointed a leader in some profit or non-profit athletic enterprise. Hell, who isn't in transition. In entertainment, Megyn Kelly is struggling for a comeback. Most of my communications clients are focused on upping their game.

Meanwhile, the world, and that extends beyond football fans, can shower Brady with gratitude. His magic gave us, season after season, the gift of wonderment. We were lifted out of the ordinary, at least when he was unleashing his performance on the field.

Smart global ghostwriting, with niche social networking know-know. Emergencies welcome. Complimentary consultation (pressure-free) janegenova374@gmail.com.

Meltdowns Lite - No-cost or Low-cost Options to Pricey Psychotherapy

Boston, the city of psychotherapists, is still stuck with the stigma against this formal mode of treatment for emotional distress and more.

In Boston Magazine, Tessa Yannone covers that.

That's unfortunate.

The Boston Metro area is the setting for so many high-powered careers. It is jam-packed with elite educational institutions. Those usually nurture an almost infinite variety of, what they call on "Criminal Minds," "stressors." 

Having on your "record" that you have been in psychotherapy can prove to be a flaming hoop you will have to jump through in some lines of work or to be admitted to some educational programs. After all, the misfit Puritans, who founded this mighty economy, didn't tolerate such vulnerabilities. Our nation really can't shake that off.  

In addition, although studies prove out that psychotherapy is effective, that doesn't mean it will be for you. There are so many variables at play.

I don't know if my three years of therapy, multiple times a week, and later on an intermittent basis with David W. Harder, Ph.D., based in Lincoln, Massachusetts, were or were not effective. Reconstructing the past is tricky business.

What I do know is that from the get-go, I should have demanded to have access to what he was putting in the clinical records. When I finally had a lawyer obtain those records I concluded, by the tone and content, we were not a good fit.

In therapy, as in just about every other aspect of life and work, fit is everything. If your insurance coverage involves managed care, you may have limited or no choice on the therapist you will be working with. You may or may not be able to interview, on a complimentary basis, several. 

Also, there's the cost of therapy. In college, graduate programs, and professional schools, that could be absorbed in other prepaid fees. Once sprung into the real world of work, if your employer kicks in for your health insurance, the co-pay can eat into a budget. There even could be double-dipping. There could be a co-pay for the psychiatrist who's prescribing medication and also for the psychotherapist. No health insurance? A session could run three digits.

The good news is that there are no-cost or low-cost alternates to therapy. That doesn't mean they are appropriate for you at whatever phase of emotional distress you are at. If you feel you are becoming undone, those in the mental health field worth their salt mandate: Call 911.

But, if you have a hunch you can try other ways to navigate the whatevers, here are 8 tips.

Free, 24/7 confidential hotlines. Several of my clients who had lost jobs obtained immediate relief - and hope - by speaking with the trained human beings at the other end of the phone line at The Samaritans. In the U.S. the number is 212-673-3000. No, you don't have to be suicidal to contact those capable of deep listening. Sensing you are going through emotional distress is enough. Just let them know that's how you are feeling. Globally, through Befrienders Wordwide, there is also help.

Meditation. Research and experience indicate this is a useful way to calm the "monkey mind." Here is a free online video introduction to the basics by American Buddhist nun Pema Chodron. While meditating in a group can seem to increase its impact, there is no reason why a daily practice can't be done alone - any where - multiple times a day. Yes, before pitching to a key prospect, meditate. 

Exercise. Working out isn't just for body contours and a healthy heart. It's a natural remedy for clinical depression and anxiety. The trick is to incorporate it into a daily routine. Do that and the body will hunger for that kind of ritual.

A trusted friend 0r Fido. Those in the mental health field who understand healing will tell you that a close friend who knows how to listen and to maintain confidentiality can be SuperTherapist. The edge that person has is knowing what you're about. Other options can be the sponsor in a 12-step program, a stranger on the seat next to you during a plane flight/Amtrak trip, or your dog. Regarding the latter, because the four-leggers in your life are empathetic and non-judgmental, they can provide solid platforms back to hope.

Herbs et al. Bless the internet. You no longer need to purchase a book on what non-prescription substances can be effective. Here, for example, is a run-down of them. Some contend any effectiveness results from the placebo effect. The attitude of those who receive relief smirk and respond, "Bring it on." All forms of mental distress cause pain. Whatever reduces that could be worth experimenting with. Many of the natural treatments do not have the possible severe side effects of a number of prescription remedies.

Spirituality. Very different from formal kinds of religion, spirituality essentially entails a surrender to some force greater than yourself. That takes the burden off you for controlling every aspect of your life and work. You can get out of the driver's seat. No longer do you have to be hyperalert and compulsively focused on goals. Incidentally, this kind of "turning over" is the core of the Alcoholics Anonymous approach to sobriety. The joke there is: Being in charge of the universe is a big job and we're not getting paid for it. 

Psychics. Those with the powers to "read" a suffering human being are being embraced as the new therapists. Lawyers, listen up: To protect themselves from  lawsuits, most post the disclaimer that their services are for entertainment only. However, there is usually extreme earnestness in the encounters between them and those who reach out to them in-person, by phone, or through email. Their methodologies range from pure intuition to tarot cards to crystals. As with myriad other services, this field has its share of cons. It's necessary to ask around for a "legit." 

Coaches. More and more professionals are simply hiring coaches instead of interviewing therapists. Coaches are usually specialized. Those niches range from overall life to career. Most will provide short complimentary sessions for you to check out the chemistry. Since there is no stigma, this could be what to try first. Over the holidays, an underemployed 63-year-old came to me for help with getting more work. What we decided was her immediate need was for a life coach. 

What's labeled as "mental illness" could simply mean hitting the mid point of the continuum of stress. You could be heading toward impairment of the ability to function. So, if you perceive yourself as gravitating out of what's today's norm for stress, take action. That could be the now-traditional way of finding out what kind of therapy your medical insurance covers to lighting a candle and turning over your will to something bigger than you. Should you sense you are in crisis, call 911.

Coaching, lecturing, and writing/ghostwriting thought leadership content on human resources and careers.

For individual coaching – sliding scale fees. Complimentary initial consultation. The special area of expertise is the displaced over-50 professional. Please contact Jane Genova janegenova374@gmail.com.